Search found 5961 matches

by ray miller
Mon Jan 13, 2020 10:00 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Mistaken Identity (rev 1)
Replies: 11
Views: 995

Re: Mistaken Identity

I liked all of it, including the ending. Not sure the reverie needs italicising. The mention of roles reversing leads me to look for evidence of what they were before - and I have to guess. Maybe you need a comma after "beneath".
by ray miller
Mon Jan 13, 2020 9:24 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Green Friday
Replies: 15
Views: 1223

Re: Green Friday

Thanks, poet. I don't know how many times it's been revised, but it's not finished, they rarely are.
by ray miller
Mon Jan 13, 2020 9:20 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Safe Sex
Replies: 9
Views: 800

Re: Safe Sex

Thanks everyone. I've no concerns at all about the rhythm, but that's what I hear in my head. But I thought I needed to alter the character of the male and I've probably ruined the poem in the process. And I don't like the title, either.
by ray miller
Fri Jan 10, 2020 9:44 am
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Lunate
Replies: 2
Views: 483

Re: Lunate

Thanks, mac.
by ray miller
Fri Jan 10, 2020 9:41 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Permacultural
Replies: 5
Views: 663

Re: Permacultural

I enjoyed thinking about it, whether this is about cultivating one's own garden or political space. How would you certify, or uncertify, a season?
by ray miller
Fri Jan 10, 2020 9:03 am
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: The Dawntreader
Replies: 7
Views: 879

Re: The Dawntreader

Well done. Why "apparently"? Do they not give you a free copy?
by ray miller
Fri Jan 10, 2020 8:36 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Safe Sex
Replies: 9
Views: 800

Re: Courtship

Yeah, bites. The female mantis is apt to devour the male mantis after mating. Maybe I should call it Safe Sex.
by ray miller
Thu Jan 09, 2020 12:22 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Late August
Replies: 3
Views: 558

Re: Late August

Here is my peace at twilight, darkness shades the colours green and grey - you can do without "the colours" I should think. my door is open to autumn breezes cool but reassuring - I don't think you need this, or the next line. they bring life. But night is calling nature to sleep Back in my stillne...
by ray miller
Thu Jan 09, 2020 12:19 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: I don't believe in poets (Revised v2)
Replies: 18
Views: 1652

Re: I don't believe in poets (Revised)

Craig Charles. Jo Bell.
by ray miller
Thu Jan 09, 2020 12:03 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: I found myself there
Replies: 7
Views: 952

Re: I found myself there

Conversations in headlocks - that's a cracker. Is the first line meant to run on from the title? Looks like it should, but then the sentence doesn't make sense. a dancer then to avoidance - don't get it. her clothes sunk in a - I'm contractually obliged to object to lines that end with an "a". actua...
by ray miller
Thu Jan 09, 2020 11:52 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: I don't believe in poets (Revised v2)
Replies: 18
Views: 1652

Re: I don't believe in poets (Revised)

camus wrote:
Thu Jan 09, 2020 6:23 am
This doesn't ring true because poets don't go on television and play the part of the celebrities. Name me one who does? In fact name me two?
John Cooper Clarke.
by ray miller
Thu Jan 09, 2020 11:48 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Safe Sex
Replies: 9
Views: 800

Safe Sex

Miss Mantis renounces romances her fancies are sandwiched between courtship and flights. Mr Mantis takes it for granted his slavish advances are rewarded with bites. Original Miss Mantis renounces romances her fancies are sandwiched between courtship and flights. Mr Mantis waxes expansive his lavish...
by ray miller
Wed Jan 08, 2020 12:42 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Chrysanthemum
Replies: 5
Views: 512

Re: Chrysanthemum

Her surname was Chrysanthemum? You're having us on! What was her first name, Daisy? I don't think adjusting a stole in silence conveys enough.
by ray miller
Wed Jan 08, 2020 12:33 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: I don't believe in poets (Revised v2)
Replies: 18
Views: 1652

Re: I don't believe in poets

I think it's fine up to "ordinary lives" - I suppose it's easier to say what you don't like than what you do. I felt the ending needed something quirkier - a Bill of Writes in iambic pentameter, that kind of thing.
by ray miller
Wed Jan 08, 2020 12:23 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Christmas Gifts (rev 4)
Replies: 19
Views: 1512

Re: Christmas Gifts (rev 1)

It's improved, but now I wonder if the final couple of lines are enough to convey mother's absence. Can't please some folk.
by ray miller
Wed Jan 08, 2020 12:15 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: This Can't Be Real
Replies: 13
Views: 898

Re: This Can't Be Real

So what's new?
by ray miller
Wed Jan 08, 2020 10:30 am
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Nine Muses
Replies: 0
Views: 1140

Nine Muses

https://ninemusespoetry.com/2020/01/05/one-poem-by-ray-miller/
by ray miller
Wed Jan 08, 2020 9:58 am
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Lunate
Replies: 2
Views: 483

Lunate

https://lunate.co.uk/home/appeal-a-poem-by-raymond-miller
by ray miller
Mon Jan 06, 2020 11:08 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Green Friday
Replies: 15
Views: 1223

Re: Green Friday

Thanks, tatterdemalion. I like what you've done to the last verse, mostly, though I'd want to keep the twee/sexuality rhyme.
by ray miller
Mon Jan 06, 2020 11:03 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Chrysanthemum
Replies: 5
Views: 512

Re: Chrysanthemum

I'd love to know what it's all about, but I'm finding it pretty impenetrable and there seems to be something missing, grammatically, from the opening sentence.
by ray miller
Sun Jan 05, 2020 12:23 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Colour
Replies: 8
Views: 696

Re: Colour

Thanks,silent lotus. What name-dropping! I knew King Kong when he was just a monkey-nut.
by ray miller
Sun Jan 05, 2020 12:19 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Your Friendly Neighbor
Replies: 1
Views: 219

Re: Your Friendly Neighbor

Three separate poems? Or is there a thread that I don't see. The middle one is quite amusing, though the excess of hope would suffice, I should think. Dunno what to make of the last couplet, apart from shrugging my shoulders.
by ray miller
Fri Jan 03, 2020 1:03 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Colour
Replies: 8
Views: 696

Re: Colour

Thanks for the comments. Love Thy Neighbour is a racist cliché, that's why it's there. I've changed Jamaican to West Indian. How does he knock whilst holding the TV? Well, we might assume he's put the TV down. On the other hand, them blacks has very long arms. Softened up might be something I made u...
by ray miller
Fri Jan 03, 2020 11:23 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Christmas Gifts (rev 4)
Replies: 19
Views: 1512

Re: Christmas Remembrance

Nice poem. I could take issue with some of the line breaks but I won't as it's pretty subjective. I wouldn't associate waking on Christmas morning with the sun. Perhaps there might be a way of alluding to the vacant place at the table, to avoid making such a bald statement.
by ray miller
Mon Dec 30, 2019 4:47 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Flood
Replies: 12
Views: 943

Re: Flood

I like the ending, very good. I trip up at these lines each time - and look at your nose changed to an owl-like hook, on gravity’s little claw. The hunters of the air, their spoiling, scentless wait as I speak for a while then stop, Should there not be some continuity between the stanzas, a semicolo...