Search found 5998 matches

by ray miller
Fri Nov 07, 2008 10:10 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Imaginary Friends
Replies: 4
Views: 452

Imaginary Friends

I overheard my daughter in a game of "pretend", "Somebody's being mean to imaginary friends!" She confided this to Jasmine, who nodded like she knew and I felt obliged to interject, "Where?" and "When?" and "Who?" Then they told me how they'd noticed in the days just passed their imaginary friends w...
by ray miller
Thu Nov 06, 2008 10:16 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: If It Ain't Broke
Replies: 15
Views: 1267

Re: If It Ain't Broke

Hello smiffey, this was written as a consequence of the NHS mental health unit I worked in being shut down, There was a long period before the actual closure date and admissions had been stopped when we had very little to do. A lot of anger and frustration ensued!It's also an expression of my discon...
by ray miller
Thu Nov 06, 2008 2:03 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: If It Ain't Broke
Replies: 15
Views: 1267

Re: If It Ain't Broke

Am I Experienced? I'll say! I knew King Kong when he was just a monkey nut. I suppose I shall have to start talking posh and wearing sensible shoes. Are you allowed to rhyme in the Lounge?
by ray miller
Thu Nov 06, 2008 1:54 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Fame of a sort
Replies: 12
Views: 1018

Re: Fame of a sort

R I've consulted Russell Brand and he says you should never swallow on your first date. Juggling is fine, though. Ray
by ray miller
Thu Nov 06, 2008 1:46 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Firework Bucket
Replies: 13
Views: 989

Re: Firework Bucket

Enjoyed this very much, I love poems which end on a melancholy note such as this. There are many nice lines within as identified by others. A couple of ordinary, too well-worn phrases, though, "ready prepared" and"brave and foolish". After I'd finished reading I immediately thought that the title sh...
by ray miller
Thu Nov 06, 2008 1:26 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Embers
Replies: 13
Views: 1046

Re: Embers

i'd have preferred the third line to rhyme with lines 1,2 and 4 but then I enjoy rhyme. The last line is impressive.
by ray miller
Thu Nov 06, 2008 1:15 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Braille yet again revised
Replies: 20
Views: 1381

Re: Braille

This is very entertaining and an original idea. Brilliant! I'd have thought touch-typed would be better. I had to look up prolusion in the dictionary, wouldn't prolusion was over be more appropriate?
by ray miller
Thu Nov 06, 2008 12:56 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Marianne (Revised)
Replies: 8
Views: 705

Re: Marianne

This reminded me of Keira Knightley, Eat Your Dinner by Jilted John/ John Shuttleworth. Marianne Arekzic, you'll save on the shopping!
by ray miller
Thu Nov 06, 2008 12:43 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: A postcard (revised)
Replies: 12
Views: 989

Re: A postcard (revised)

My original impression when I read this was that the person being addressed was dead and I can now see that I was mistaken in that belief.Partly that's because of the comments you made above, but also the revised version leaves less to the imagination, perhaps. I don't like the first few lines you'v...
by ray miller
Wed Nov 05, 2008 2:09 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Fame of a sort
Replies: 12
Views: 1018

Re: Fame of a sort

There's a temptation when people applaud you for virtues that you don't possess to just keep one's mouth shut. However, I must confess that the preference I'm expressing is more sexual than poetic. My sexuality, obviously, not Miss Duffy's. Having said that, it's only a preference and I could be qui...
by ray miller
Wed Nov 05, 2008 1:48 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Above Rostrevor
Replies: 13
Views: 1109

Re: Above Rostrevor

This is so very good! Both the parts -bouldered ground, needling wind, raftered bones and my favourite, wraiths of mountainy men - and the whole produce a vivid, almost palpable effect. I had never heard the word louring until a few months ago and now it seems to be everywhere. Sleekit? Is that a lo...
by ray miller
Wed Nov 05, 2008 1:31 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: A postcard (revised)
Replies: 12
Views: 989

Re: A postcard

It's very moving, concise and well-written. There's something about the sea, evocation of and association with memories of the departed isn't there? Vastness, strangeness and the Other Shore etc. "gently waves repeat your name; meet me on the beach." reminds me of Wuthering Heights. I think the last...
by ray miller
Wed Nov 05, 2008 1:12 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Pot-bellied
Replies: 6
Views: 582

Re: Pot-belied

I approached the close thinking there would be a clever or funny punchline to finish but it ends rather weakly, I think. Mind you, it could be that I'm misunderstanding it completely. It is meant to be Pot-belied and not Pot-bellied?
by ray miller
Tue Nov 04, 2008 4:35 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Top Of The Poets
Replies: 10
Views: 838

Re: Top Of The Poets

The other one is Fame of a sort by me, she only has a minor part!
by ray miller
Tue Nov 04, 2008 3:08 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Naming of Rivers (Revised}
Replies: 11
Views: 944

Re: Naming of Rivers (Revised}

I think this is excellent and I'd second most of the other comments. First two stanzas are fine and though the revised third is an improvement I feel the final two lines rather let it down. "onward rushed to plot wilderness" is particularly strong, I think.Is that repetition of "water over rock" del...
by ray miller
Tue Nov 04, 2008 2:54 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: oozed
Replies: 11
Views: 943

Re: oozed

you could say that" her sadness oozed" and as for the title, Ooze That Girl?
by ray miller
Tue Nov 04, 2008 2:42 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Top Of The Poets
Replies: 10
Views: 838

Re: Top Of The Poets

Lucky Miss Duffy, featured in two poems within 24 hours. I have to say I'd have had no idea whatsoever that it were she. I like "edged nervily", it's precisely what kids did and still do in the halls and gymnasiums. Do you need a comma after pupils, or dresses for that matter? I don't understand the...
by ray miller
Tue Nov 04, 2008 12:42 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: If It Ain't Broke
Replies: 15
Views: 1267

Re: If It Ain't Broke

Thank you all so much for your comments.I'm pleasantly taken aback, I thought it would be rubbished for its lack of sophistication. It was written specifically to be read out loud although I never got round to performing it on the occasion I had in mind. Righteous anger describes it well. ray
by ray miller
Tue Nov 04, 2008 11:02 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Fame of a sort
Replies: 12
Views: 1018

Re: Fame of a sort

jms and elphin, thanks so much for your suggestions, some of which I've taken on board in a revised version. "....or perhaps it could be planned!" is meant to indicate the narrator's gradual realisation that he may be able to bring about the desired circumstance by his own hand rather than relying o...
by ray miller
Tue Nov 04, 2008 8:27 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Fame of a sort
Replies: 12
Views: 1018

Fame of a sort

It's not a goal, as such, more like a corner or a throw - in, but I wish that I could be in somebody else's poem. It would be fame of a sort, though not a fame that can be sought; it's in another's hands and would happen by chance.... or perhaps it could be planned! Can it be so difficult to find my...
by ray miller
Tue Nov 04, 2008 8:27 am
Forum: Beginners Featured Poems
Topic: Fame of a sort
Replies: 0
Views: 3654

Fame of a sort

It's not a goal, as such, more like a corner or a throw-in, but I wish that I could be in somebody else's poem. It would be fame of a sort, though not a fame that can be sought; it happens by chance and is in another's hand.... or perhaps it could be planned! Can it be so hard to locate a versifier?...
by ray miller
Mon Nov 03, 2008 5:01 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: I think I broke my ear.
Replies: 14
Views: 1248

Re: I think I broke my ear.

Hello, my comments weren't meant to be taken very seriously, actually not seriously at all. I'm suddenly finding lots to laugh at, I thought it were a funny poem and tried to reply in kind. I've just wiped that smirlk off my face! Honest!
Best Wishes, Ray
by ray miller
Mon Nov 03, 2008 3:25 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: If It Ain't Broke
Replies: 15
Views: 1267

If It Ain't Broke

We'll begin at the top, send someone to the loft to shed light on the dark and spooky, to seek out the machines that have captured our dreams and other instruments of cruelty. There may be photos of girls without clothes but even though they're naked, we'll leave nothing intact, we'll be ruthless, i...
by ray miller
Mon Nov 03, 2008 2:46 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: domesticated
Replies: 17
Views: 1194

Re: domesticated

It's a fine, delicate verse, just the sort of thing my wife would come up with. One minor quibble, is "sensing" the most appropriate word to be using? Feeling?
by ray miller
Mon Nov 03, 2008 2:39 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: A whole damn flock
Replies: 8
Views: 744

Re: A whole damn flock

I thought "herbaceous" meant that you came bearing plants and flowers, it transpires that you came bearing birds. Stick - shift lips? I should like to hear Wendy's version, a blow by blow account from a tongue in cheek perspective. Whatever happens to people who find themselves drafted unwillingly i...