Search found 801 matches

by John G
Mon Dec 20, 2010 4:39 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: This minimalism is unworkable.
Replies: 8
Views: 731

This minimalism is unworkable.

The stark afternoon opposite the charm of the early morning shade before the terror, the sermon and the gossip sneaks through, the systems respond where buildings dominate the prefix. The whistle-blower and the correspondent share laughs in the bunker amongst shorthanded fables of false prophets. Wh...
by John G
Mon Dec 20, 2010 4:19 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Apologies
Replies: 2
Views: 324

Re: Apologies

I like the idea that I’ve read and re-read this and can come up with different scenarios each time. I initially pictured someone leaving home for the first time and their mother helping them pack, but thought meandered down a weird path of voyeurism and othere things Freid could get his teeth into. ...
by John G
Sat Dec 18, 2010 4:21 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: icicle frozen
Replies: 12
Views: 767

Re: icicle frozen

David, I do get what your saying, if you’re an icicle by definition you will be frozen or at least have properties of being frozen. I was trying to paint the image of being frozen to the spot and thought this worked well and I was definitely trying to stay clear of cliché as I didn't want to ruin th...
by John G
Sat Dec 18, 2010 11:20 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: icicle frozen
Replies: 12
Views: 767

Re: icicle frozen

Bodkin, I never knew that but it sounds ok with hung. Will probably leave it as hung, even though its grammatically incorrect
by John G
Sat Dec 18, 2010 11:18 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Merrry Christmas Steve McQueen
Replies: 0
Views: 395

Merrry Christmas Steve McQueen

(bit of a cheat as I have posted this before - but I have update with the required words) The headlights hit him like he had just emerged from a tunnel in a prisoner of war camp wearing the clothes they captured him in, unshaven and decorated in mud. Nazis with guns standing on lookout turrets helme...
by John G
Fri Dec 17, 2010 8:06 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: icicle frozen
Replies: 12
Views: 767

Re: icicle frozen

Cheers chaps - appreciate it isn't the standard fun and smiling children and really bad woollen jumpers but because this happened so near to Xmas it’s always lurking in the back of my mind…however I do love Christmas but found it easier to write something morose then something happy
by John G
Fri Dec 17, 2010 7:52 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Hidden Meaning of the Second World War
Replies: 15
Views: 861

Re: The Hidden Meaning of the Second World War

really good read - read like prose - but that in my opinion is either here nor there. Possibly could have done without the also some Hepplewhite consoles, as it doesn't add much for me. My own nit is the last half of opening stanza and the family came down like vultures, squabbling over the painting...
by John G
Fri Dec 17, 2010 5:17 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: icicle frozen
Replies: 12
Views: 767

icicle frozen

My friend hung himself at this time of year. His belt, a leather ribbon decorating his neck and a card on the table, well wishes from an uncle rarely seen. And I remember walking up the path to his door and seeing his body dangling. I remember his socks were at eye level and I was an icicle frozen. ...
by John G
Sat Dec 11, 2010 10:26 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Animals version 3
Replies: 15
Views: 825

Re: Animals version 3

Brian, yep.

Amended
by John G
Fri Dec 10, 2010 7:02 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Conduit v2
Replies: 5
Views: 508

Re: Conduit v2

As always, feedback and comments appreciated. RLR - taken on board an the double use of human contact and will amend - agree that is does sound better. Ray - good idea - have amended. I like it. Bloggsworth – My wife always berates my English education because I never studied Shakespeare's and all I...
by John G
Fri Dec 10, 2010 5:26 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Animals version 3
Replies: 15
Views: 825

Re: Animals version 3

OK, I have posted a third revision - no massive changes but I personally much prefer the ending now.

Thanks for all your comments, as always, greatly appreciated.
by John G
Thu Dec 09, 2010 11:25 am
Forum: Music and Song Lyric Discussion
Topic: Something new
Replies: 4
Views: 431

Re: Something new

odd - appears to be working on mine - anyways it was for a band called Raghu Dixit - saw them on Jools Holland - they were good. Check them out...if you want
by John G
Fri Dec 03, 2010 8:33 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Conduit v2
Replies: 5
Views: 508

Conduit v2

Version 2 post-it note reminds him: "FIX THE FRIDGE" familiar voices from inside the radio, the click of a kettle, the pop of the toaster the knife scrapes scattering buckshot over the papers waiting on the table. The news nestled between the salt and pepper, cups of tea. An egg, a soldier lays ble...
by John G
Fri Dec 03, 2010 8:29 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: When We Missed the Exit to Maryland
Replies: 6
Views: 451

Re: When We Missed the Exit to Maryland

Really enjoyed the read – great images and great choice of words. Really appealed. Not 100% sure abut the structure. Without changing the content I would have did wrote it like below – but that’s just me. Enjoable. We swept up the scraps of our plans and off to a Delaware diner, Spoke of your Shih T...
by John G
Fri Dec 03, 2010 8:11 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Animals version 3
Replies: 15
Views: 825

Re: Animals version 2

David, I wouldn't worry about losing street cred, its not all that its cracked up to be. I removed the line as in retrospect it does seem weak and clichéd. I just need to think fo a better way to end it – any suggestions?  Ray, I think the heads rolled away as the protagonist run out of nails and h...
by John G
Fri Dec 03, 2010 6:20 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Animals version 3
Replies: 15
Views: 825

Re: Animals version 2

Cheers agian for the feedback - agree about the S1 so have re-posted a ney version minus S1. The only other change was the last line . Brian, I totally agree with your comment about the line being unimaginative. I do agree but to unimaginative, I would also add “shit”. Any way, I think it reads bett...
by John G
Tue Nov 30, 2010 7:35 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Animals version 3
Replies: 15
Views: 825

Animals version 3

Version Three An appetite for wildlife they said. hundreds of heads on the wall, the smallest to the left, the head of an ant and on the right the largest, his finest kill, stalked day and night for weeks, finally brought to ground with a bazooka, a steady hand and some luck: the head of a great bl...
by John G
Tue Nov 30, 2010 7:09 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Anger at the exit
Replies: 6
Views: 514

Re: Anger at the exit

Thanks for the feedback people...Arian, glad you appreciated parts i and ii, was in two minds about splitting the poem into parts but thought it worked well with the content so thought I'd give it ago. However won't be using it for every poem!!
by John G
Tue Nov 30, 2010 6:45 pm
Forum: Music and Song Lyric Discussion
Topic: Something new
Replies: 4
Views: 431

Something new

by John G
Mon Nov 29, 2010 8:33 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Salami, Salamis, Salaam
Replies: 6
Views: 518

Re: Salami, Salamis, Salaam

I know ergo sum from my philosophy days but the rest is all Greek to me. However I did stick it into a translatore (googles one) and it spewed this out - love the last line!! Pannerola pergolum, dammenola ergo sum; I hang Quenda senda, hangs quend send to me love, more love. Oremus, Tio Anger, not t...
by John G
Mon Nov 29, 2010 8:15 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Found
Replies: 8
Views: 621

Re: Found

Liking the vagueness, however I have no idea if its intentionally vague or maybe that’s just me! Like the fantasy island / midget man riff and can see where clarabow got James Bond from (Nik Nak was in Man with the Golden Gun) However, I got Glen Miller – the alto sax – the army reference – but I kn...
by John G
Mon Nov 29, 2010 10:11 am
Forum: Music and Song Lyric Discussion
Topic: Pantera: "Domination"
Replies: 1
Views: 237

Re: Pantera: "Domination"

Their Vulgar DIsplay of Power is immense
by John G
Sat Nov 27, 2010 5:29 pm
Forum: Music and Song Lyric Discussion
Topic: Silver Jews
Replies: 0
Views: 396

Silver Jews

The Silver Jews are excellant.



by John G
Sat Nov 27, 2010 5:15 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Onion
Replies: 9
Views: 808

Re: Onion

David, funnily enough I just watched Shrek again yesterday

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