Search found 4491 matches

by camus
Fri Jun 14, 2019 8:33 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Wounded knees
Replies: 8
Views: 140

Re: Wounded knees

Geoff is that you? Geoff, Geoff, Geoff, Geoff, Geoff, Geoff, Geoff, Geoff, Geoff, Geoff, Geoff, Geoff, Geoff, Geoff, Geoff... Sorry, got carried away. So happy to see you back here... "Don't bury my heart at Wounded Knee for I need it to lay a hand on." So, I was expecting a Cormac McCarthy type aff...
by camus
Thu Jun 13, 2019 8:55 pm
Forum: Music and Song Lyric Discussion
Topic: The Chain
Replies: 407
Views: 184552

Re: The Chain

Nice. Leaving the Kinky behind and moving on to strange but affecting duos.

by camus
Thu Jun 13, 2019 7:53 pm
Forum: Music and Song Lyric Discussion
Topic: The Chain
Replies: 407
Views: 184552

Re: The Chain

Good call sir, this needs resurrecting!

From the Kinks to Kinky Afro, with one of the finest opening lyrics known to man.

by camus
Wed Apr 24, 2019 9:59 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Perpetual Motion
Replies: 14
Views: 979

Re: Perpetual Motion

Failed artist, failed musician, perpetual ME warrior Well mate, i can't relate to any of that as I've not failed at any of them. That said I've not succeeded either! ME warrior - My sister is a fellow warrior, so I know the score. And thanks for the website nod, I often wonder if anyone visits from...
by camus
Sat Apr 13, 2019 8:19 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Triffids
Replies: 7
Views: 313

Re: Triffids

(sorry to say this) sound a little childish to me and over emphatic Not at all. I might agree. I seem to find myself in a rut of breaking down language to it's simplest form and structure, i don't know why...well i do...I often find poetry unbearably pretentious these days, sometimes highly annoyin...
by camus
Thu Apr 11, 2019 1:32 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Perpetual Motion
Replies: 14
Views: 979

Re: Perpetual Motion

I must say you have one of the most original voices i've read on here for a long while.

Are you young(ish) you seem very earnest in your replies!

Anyhow, a pleasure to read.

Cheers
C
by camus
Thu Apr 11, 2019 1:11 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Lycorine in the Living Room (revised)
Replies: 14
Views: 592

Re: Lycorine in the Living Room

This poem has made me stop and try and work it out!

Initially i like the language and the intrigue, it reminds me of a good TV drama

I'll be back.
by camus
Thu Apr 11, 2019 1:00 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Am I an Englishman? (V4)
Replies: 27
Views: 2247

Re: Am I an Englishman? (revised and YouTubed!)

Wow, what an accomplished poem and voice, quite took me by surprise. I'm coming to this late so disregard this if it's been mentioned in the revisions but I think the opening: "Vienna, Vilnius, Kazan: I think I am." Belongs as a closure. I'll add: And the poor old lousy old earth, my earth and my fa...
by camus
Thu Apr 11, 2019 12:39 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Triffids
Replies: 7
Views: 313

Triffids

I'm not smoking anymore so I'm slightly overweight but less than poor It's no fun of course vaping around like a demented horse lost in an icy wood It's not the same I can't relax I'm on tenterhooks I'm strung-up bled-out and faxed I'm a bad copy of myself. I'm now afraid of meat! Red is bad, white ...
by camus
Tue Nov 27, 2018 10:51 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Sandcastles
Replies: 11
Views: 1051

Re: Sandcastles

Thanks guys. Took on board various suggestions: But mostly ending the poem at a certain stage (suggestion by David) Q. How hard is it to cut out a serious amount of a poem? A. Very hard. BUT it made total sense. The mixture of sun and moon, the leaping, the revellers all became a little contrived an...
by camus
Sat Nov 24, 2018 11:38 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Sandcastles
Replies: 11
Views: 1051

Sandcastles

Revision 1 Sandcastles Are built to last a day at best History condensed - Summer somewhere remembered the siege of hill forts and outposts French inventions - Ours is now eight hours old several turrets, a hungry moat Annihilation is imminent - The sun is setting behind it We sit and watch, resple...
by camus
Wed Nov 21, 2018 1:13 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Man Out Of Time
Replies: 13
Views: 1264

Re: Man Out Of Time

Good heart wrenching stuff. I kinda wanted the refrain of "Here’s where I get it" to change at some point to "Here’s where I DON'T get it" fuelling the disparity between situations. Basically "Here’s where I get it" seems redundant and over used i think, unnecessary. First and last stanza would suff...
by camus
Wed Nov 21, 2018 12:36 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Geezer near Grasmere
Replies: 4
Views: 758

Re: Geezer near Grasmere

Hopes may rise on the Grasmere
But Honey Pie, you're not safe here
So you run down to the safety of the town

If unsure, quote a relevant lyric.

I was unsure on the whole, but enjoyed the colloquial humour.

Nice One.
by camus
Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:04 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Peppers, Magnetic Island.
Replies: 14
Views: 1535

Re: Peppers, Magnetic Island.

No, I don't blame you.

I was thinking aloud, which should never be encouraged!
by camus
Sat Nov 03, 2018 1:11 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Peppers, Magnetic Island.
Replies: 14
Views: 1535

Re: Peppers, Magnetic Island.

Very good, but what is the point of it all? I find your poems luxuriant, brimming, and exciting, but ultimately (more often than not) pointless. Of course we each write poems for our own reasons, but surely there must be a point to writing poems beyond our own skill and insights, to convey something...
by camus
Sat Nov 03, 2018 12:33 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: On the Bike Path
Replies: 14
Views: 1392

Re: On the Bike Path

Ah Joni, what a gal. This tune for example is all about her, but not about her at all.

by camus
Sat Nov 03, 2018 12:20 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Last Sunday
Replies: 23
Views: 2663

Re: Last Sunday

David, it's so hard to crit your poems as they are almost always perfect in both their language and structure. I say "in both", but I'm certain there was some other aspect that was also perfect, but I forget it now! I think the last few poems I've read from you, confirm you are entering elder Larkin...
by camus
Fri Nov 02, 2018 11:57 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Circularity (v5)(was Adam in Eden)
Replies: 19
Views: 1556

Re: Adam in Eden

If this were a famous poem, its porn star name would be Adam IN Eve. That aside, I see it as a tender/somewhat remorseful lament to/against growing old? a final apple resists the fall Rage, Rage... on November’s pavement Simple, but so eloquently tragic. indifferent tyranny of soles That's heavy stu...
by camus
Fri Nov 02, 2018 11:21 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Slowed Down (formerly 'The Blackbird') V4
Replies: 17
Views: 1640

Re: Slowed Down (formerly 'The Blackbird') V4

I love a poem that has been honed and honed, more often than not a "short" poem and also one that might only be realised by references, fuck it, why not? "Beer Hall Putsch to Brenner Pass" I would really go in search if I could be arsed, but I'll take your wonderful word for it. My type of poem. Nic...
by camus
Fri Nov 02, 2018 11:11 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: How Does Everybody Stop Having Sex?
Replies: 5
Views: 942

Re: How Does Everybody Stop Having Sex?

Ah, Just read another poem on here.

In-forum references.
by camus
Fri Nov 02, 2018 11:00 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: On the Bike Path
Replies: 14
Views: 1392

Re: On the Bike Path

What I liked: Your fearless approach to gender and to culture addressed in this poem. What I didn't like: Was the underlying me me me I I I approach. "and wondering if I’m a hostile American too." I'd say, YES most definitely. A David Sedaris fan? Correct me if i'm wrong. Perhaps in your next poem, ...
by camus
Fri Nov 02, 2018 7:55 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: School Girl
Replies: 16
Views: 1497

Re: School Girl

Thanks guys, Lack of punctuation aside, which Perry cleared up nicely, the main crux was simple really: A girl on the way home from school revealing what she really shouldn't at that age. Why? Well there are a few pointers as to why, if they weren't clear enough then the poem failed and I'll have to...
by camus
Fri Nov 02, 2018 7:43 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: How Does Everybody Stop Having Sex?
Replies: 5
Views: 942

Re: How Does Everybody Stop Having Sex?

Turning 45 worked for me. Much like a very fine meal, or your drug of choice, only on special occasions...

An excellent fun poem.

Not sure where the final stanza took us though, or if it was even required?

Cheers
by camus
Sun Oct 28, 2018 1:51 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: School Girl
Replies: 16
Views: 1497

Re: School Girl

I was handsome, that’s all I had. I twinkled in the moonlight, you said. “You look like my dad.” You fancied me because you were sick, and I never questioned that. The girl who slipped into bushes on the school walk home, revealed more than she ever should, but in that revealing was never alone. A ...
by camus
Sun Oct 28, 2018 1:34 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: School Girl
Replies: 16
Views: 1497

Re: School Girl

Well, my ego is inflated, no doubt will be deflated shortly with subtle and welcoming crits, they're good here. But again, thanks for the appreciation, tis much appreciated. I shall certainly return the favour, but I'm not very good! Are all your poems this good? See for yourself, the answer being -...