Search found 15 matches

by springchic1979
Tue Aug 04, 2020 4:18 pm
Forum: Music and Song Lyric Discussion
Topic: The Chain
Replies: 409
Views: 210280

Re: The Chain

I'm game. Since it has been a while since anyone posted... I'm going to throw in a twist if people don't mind...
Staring at the Large Banana....made me think of the group...Bananas at Large:



enjoy? :)
by springchic1979
Tue Aug 04, 2020 3:45 pm
Forum: Music and Song Lyric Discussion
Topic: Boubacar Traoré - Hona
Replies: 1
Views: 1648

Re: Boubacar Traoré - Hona

Wow...this piece was absolutely beautiful!! I just closed my eyes and listened. His voice was a wonderful addition making me wish I could understand his words.
I will definitely come back and listen to it again...thank you so much for sharing this piece!

respectfully,
YDS
by springchic1979
Tue Aug 04, 2020 1:04 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Haiku Train
Replies: 7614
Views: 973531

Re: Haiku Train

a razor to walk
purposefully across skin
leaves bloody footprints
by springchic1979
Tue Aug 04, 2020 12:40 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Bonnie & Clyde v2
Replies: 14
Views: 1609

Re: Bonnie & Clyde v2

This does change the feel of the poem. It goes from irony to something that could be considered crude humor. There is nothing wrong with that type of humor if that is what you are going for. However, with all the information 'implied' one might be able to argue that those two people wouldn't have be...
by springchic1979
Mon Aug 03, 2020 4:50 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The End to Slavery
Replies: 3
Views: 1346

Re: The End to Slavery

Hello from 'across the pond' First I wanted to let you know I can definitely feel the anger you are trying to portray. I also understand why you have chosen to write such an emotional piece as this subject seems to be all over the media these days. I am glad a subject can touch someone so much so fa...
by springchic1979
Mon Aug 03, 2020 12:28 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Bonnie & Clyde v2
Replies: 14
Views: 1609

Re: Bonehead & Clyde

Now that you mention it...i'm not sure if 'bonehead' really goes well in the title. If you took out the perjorative 'bonehead' you leave it more open for the reader to interpret how they choose. (just my opinion) I do rather like the idea of giving it a slightly different title like: Bonnie & Clyde ...
by springchic1979
Sun Aug 02, 2020 10:43 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: From This to That
Replies: 7
Views: 1441

Re: From This to That

I like how such an item that most people would never think of as significant can bring back a memory for you. A lot of people would just see an old plastic container on a desk. Makes me wonder what other stories are behind other seemingly unimportant items. . . hmm Very interesting idea and thank yo...
by springchic1979
Sun Aug 02, 2020 10:21 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: My Struggle
Replies: 4
Views: 1685

Re: My Struggle

You manage to voice the anger and turmoil quite well. You also bring the senses into it...certain smells (chicken & apple juice), images (patients jerking in their beds), sounds (moaning for help). It does make me (as a reader) experience the situation with you. There are just a couple things I have...
by springchic1979
Sun Aug 02, 2020 5:30 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: It’s Something Celestial
Replies: 1
Views: 1071

Re: It’s Something Celestial

I read your poem and you express a great need of/for things that seem to be missing in your life. you use "I want" a lot throughout the poem. Have you thought about combining more lines or rewording a few lines to get the same meaning across but without the exact same 2 words "I want"...?? Repeating...
by springchic1979
Sun Aug 02, 2020 4:59 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: A Voice in the Light
Replies: 3
Views: 2077

Re: A Voice in the Light

I would have to say my favorite part was the ending of your poem. Listen for the light, and in the blink of an eye, it will speak to the dark in thee. A very 'impactful' ending in my opinion. There was one spot that kinda got me...as it didn't really flow or make complete sense (to me): and a Twinkl...
by springchic1979
Sun Aug 02, 2020 4:42 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Unfinished sympathy for the rebel
Replies: 2
Views: 1074

Re: Unfinished sympathy for the rebel

I am confused about the title in relation to the poem. Wouldn't the rebel be the person who isn't wearing the mask? and sympathy for the rebel (who is not wearing a mask) wouldn't mean arming yourself with a leaf blower or alcohol spray bottles...? As far as the poem itself I understand how the pers...
by springchic1979
Sun Aug 02, 2020 4:33 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Bonnie & Clyde v2
Replies: 14
Views: 1609

Re: Bonehead & Clyde

2 normal citizens going about their everyday business are now considered/labeled as outlaws and social outcasts for having the audacity to continue to live life normally AND for having an unpopular political opinion...though neither made you a pariah until recently. Honestly though, I liked liked th...
by springchic1979
Sun Aug 02, 2020 3:40 pm
Forum: Hello, Good Evening and Welcome
Topic: Hi, I'm new here. . .
Replies: 2
Views: 2632

Hi, I'm new here. . .

Hi,
I'm new here and you may find me lurking around, reading and sometimes commenting on the poetry. I do plan to post my own eventually...I just want to get a feel of this site and its members first.

*waves*

respectfully,
YDS
by springchic1979
Sun Aug 02, 2020 3:08 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Fourteen Months of Photos
Replies: 6
Views: 1431

Re: Fourteen Months of Photos

I was also confused by the reference to sparks. However there is usually a reason why a particular word is chosen over others. I think the way you used it in the sentence is what is throwing off the reader...maybe if you rewrote that part you might have better luck? I know things can 'spark a memory...
by springchic1979
Sun Aug 02, 2020 2:18 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Unpresidented
Replies: 4
Views: 993

Re: Unpresidented

Hi. I'm new here
just wanted to let you know that your 5th line has a typo

hugh = huge

Respectfully,
Y.D.S.
:)