The Poets' Graves Workshop

I'm game. Since it has been a while since anyone posted... I'm going to throw in a twist if people don't mind...
Staring at the Large Banana....made me think of the group...Bananas at Large:



enjoy?

Wow...this piece was absolutely beautiful!! I just closed my eyes and listened. His voice was a wonderful addition making me wish I could understand his words.
I will definitely come back and listen to it again...thank you so much for sharing this piece!

respectfully,
YDS

a razor to walk
purposefully across skin
leaves bloody footprints

This does change the feel of the poem. It goes from irony to something that could be considered crude humor. There is nothing wrong with that type of humor if that is what you are going for. However, with all the information 'implied' one might be able to argue that those two people wouldn't have be...

Hello from 'across the pond' First I wanted to let you know I can definitely feel the anger you are trying to portray. I also understand why you have chosen to write such an emotional piece as this subject seems to be all over the media these days. I am glad a subject can touch someone so much so fa...

Now that you mention it...i'm not sure if 'bonehead' really goes well in the title. If you took out the perjorative 'bonehead' you leave it more open for the reader to interpret how they choose. (just my opinion) I do rather like the idea of giving it a slightly different title like: Bonnie & Clyde ...

I like how such an item that most people would never think of as significant can bring back a memory for you. A lot of people would just see an old plastic container on a desk. Makes me wonder what other stories are behind other seemingly unimportant items. . . hmm Very interesting idea and thank yo...

You manage to voice the anger and turmoil quite well. You also bring the senses into it...certain smells (chicken & apple juice), images (patients jerking in their beds), sounds (moaning for help). It does make me (as a reader) experience the situation with you. There are just a couple things I have...

I read your poem and you express a great need of/for things that seem to be missing in your life. you use "I want" a lot throughout the poem. Have you thought about combining more lines or rewording a few lines to get the same meaning across but without the exact same 2 words "I want"...?? Repeating...

I would have to say my favorite part was the ending of your poem. Listen for the light, and in the blink of an eye, it will speak to the dark in thee. A very 'impactful' ending in my opinion. There was one spot that kinda got me...as it didn't really flow or make complete sense (to me): and a Twinkl...

I am confused about the title in relation to the poem. Wouldn't the rebel be the person who isn't wearing the mask? and sympathy for the rebel (who is not wearing a mask) wouldn't mean arming yourself with a leaf blower or alcohol spray bottles...? As far as the poem itself I understand how the pers...

2 normal citizens going about their everyday business are now considered/labeled as outlaws and social outcasts for having the audacity to continue to live life normally AND for having an unpopular political opinion...though neither made you a pariah until recently. Honestly though, I liked liked th...

Hi,
I'm new here and you may find me lurking around, reading and sometimes commenting on the poetry. I do plan to post my own eventually...I just want to get a feel of this site and its members first.

*waves*

respectfully,
YDS

I was also confused by the reference to sparks. However there is usually a reason why a particular word is chosen over others. I think the way you used it in the sentence is what is throwing off the reader...maybe if you rewrote that part you might have better luck? I know things can 'spark a memory...

Hi. I'm new here
just wanted to let you know that your 5th line has a typo

hugh = huge

Respectfully,
Y.D.S.