Search found 1245 matches

by oranggunung
Wed Apr 15, 2015 6:51 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Haiku Train
Replies: 7597
Views: 958905

Re: Haiku Train

rawhide into suede
now there’s a job even the
Blues Brothers baulk at
by oranggunung
Wed Mar 25, 2015 10:35 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Haiku Train
Replies: 7597
Views: 958905

Re: Haiku Train

eventually
time and gravity will beat
anti-wrinkle cream
by oranggunung
Thu Mar 12, 2015 8:49 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: I went to a middle class party
Replies: 8
Views: 1163

Re: I went to a middle class party

Nicely done, Kris.

It’s lots of fun to read and I can’t help thinking it was lots of fun to write.
I wonder if the “see above”, “see below” bits are references to something I should know, but don’t.

enjoyed

og
by oranggunung
Fri Feb 27, 2015 9:36 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Haiku Train
Replies: 7597
Views: 958905

Re: Haiku Train

perfect baklava
a sweetmeat that will work on
so many levels
by oranggunung
Sun Feb 22, 2015 5:20 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Haiku Train
Replies: 7597
Views: 958905

Re: Haiku Train

of home-made hummus
and men … kitchen drama and
a Greek tragedy
by oranggunung
Mon Feb 02, 2015 11:11 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: googlepoem - sticky
Replies: 46
Views: 12393

Re: googlepoem - sticky

Hi Ros

I'll try harder to follow that rule in future.

You might be interested to know that I didn't add stuff, only removed duplicate lines and rearranged order.

Perhaps that makes it "found poetry".


og
by oranggunung
Sun Feb 01, 2015 4:45 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Poems condensed into single lines, with titles!
Replies: 9
Views: 1170

Re: Poems condensed into single lines, with titles!

Hi TS I think there’s an art to summarising poems/ideas/stories so briefly. I can’t say I’m familiar with the originals, but I find your summaries very pleasing. I suspect you’d write very good haiku, especially if you allowed yourself to depart from the strictures of a 5-7-5 format. Maybe you do, a...
by oranggunung
Sun Feb 01, 2015 4:35 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Paolo's story
Replies: 10
Views: 999

Re: Paolo's story

Hi David I enjoyed this too. I’m afraid I can’t see the subtleties of the enjambment that Jackie mentioned, but I’ll keep looking. I sense some irregularity at the end ... I think I’d prefer a full stop after “heretofore”. However, if that change were made, the last “and” would be redundant (imho). ...
by oranggunung
Sun Feb 01, 2015 4:20 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Shadow (formerly, Waxing) now waxing again
Replies: 23
Views: 1726

Re: Shadow (formerly, Waxing) now waxing again

I like v3 too.

Nice one

og
by oranggunung
Sat Jan 31, 2015 11:15 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Haiku Train
Replies: 7597
Views: 958905

Re: Haiku Train

I, probing with tongue
savour the exotic taste
of home-made hummus
by oranggunung
Thu Jan 29, 2015 9:24 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Shadow (formerly, Waxing) now waxing again
Replies: 23
Views: 1726

Re: Shadow (formerly, Waxing)

Hi Richard I like the ideas at play here, but am still finding some awkwardness with the language in the revision. It seems a shame to have “shadow” as the title, only for the same word to appear in the first line. I don’t imagine you want to change the title again, but wondered whether “penumbra” m...
by oranggunung
Wed Jan 28, 2015 11:25 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: googlepoem - sticky
Replies: 46
Views: 12393

Re: googlepoem - sticky

Are there any rules about cheating?

Image


og
by oranggunung
Wed Jan 28, 2015 10:34 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Haiku Train
Replies: 7597
Views: 958905

Re: Haiku Train

as the eye can see
but the fingers cannot touch
so the mouth may taste
by oranggunung
Thu Dec 25, 2014 5:56 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Haiku Train
Replies: 7597
Views: 958905

Re: Haiku Train

A beautiful seasonal image, k-j.
Merry Christmas.


coyote prints in snow
trying to find the “up” side
in a lone wolf state
by oranggunung
Sun Dec 14, 2014 11:19 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Size Eight Still / revision 4
Replies: 39
Views: 3545

Re: Size Eight Still / revision

Hi Luke I’m coming to this rather late, so appreciate you may feel that all has been said and done already. I’ve read all the comments, so understand the intent of the author and the confusion of the readers. Reading this for the first (and second and third) times, S4 appears to be where the poem cl...
by oranggunung
Sun Dec 14, 2014 10:56 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Haiku Train
Replies: 7597
Views: 958905

Re: Haiku Train

abominable …
your gifts, your family and
the Christmas weather
by oranggunung
Fri Dec 05, 2014 6:42 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Haiku Train
Replies: 7597
Views: 958905

Re: Haiku Train

you might want a drink
better make it a softie
if you’re in Scotland
by oranggunung
Sat Nov 15, 2014 10:55 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Haiku Train
Replies: 7597
Views: 958905

Re: Haiku Train

“Enough! Good stud work
should not be praised in rugby
internationals.”
by oranggunung
Tue Nov 04, 2014 11:52 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Haiku Train
Replies: 7597
Views: 958905

Re: Haiku Train

waiting for the burn
after the bubbles abate …
tequila slammers
by oranggunung
Mon Oct 27, 2014 9:25 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Haiku Train
Replies: 7597
Views: 958905

Re: Haiku Train

say the Tudors,
mockers of architecture,
rose to prominence
by oranggunung
Mon Oct 27, 2014 4:37 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Matsuri
Replies: 2
Views: 561

Re: Matsuri

Hi Bren another interesting piece - a story in a story? When I looked up Matsuri, I was informed it was a solemn festival - your experience suggests otherwise! You seem coy at the end, uncertain to finish it as a poem or a journal. I'd be tempted to end at there is a great learning value inn sicknes...
by oranggunung
Sun Oct 19, 2014 10:43 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Unraveling
Replies: 7
Views: 949

Re: Unraveling

Hi k-j I like the broken rhyme scheme here; it seems appropriate for the title. It adds a little more mystery to the piece. Not that I have a clear idea of what’s going on, but somehow that doesn’t feel important. S3 has me most confused, because I’m left uncertain regarding the narrator’s feelings ...
by oranggunung
Sat Oct 18, 2014 11:55 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: When I think of you
Replies: 12
Views: 1618

Re: When I think of you (which is often)

Hi Mic I really like the happiness this conveys. For me, the punctuation isn’t helping the flow. I don’t know why you would start a line with an ampersand and I don’t think you need one at the beginning of S2. As S1 is free of punctuation, I don’t understand why you have a semi-colon at the end of S...
by oranggunung
Sat Oct 18, 2014 10:48 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Haiku Train
Replies: 7597
Views: 958905

Re: Haiku Train

falling rains of death
as October storms the streets
sycamores succumb
by oranggunung
Sat Oct 18, 2014 10:45 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: SciFaiku
Replies: 13
Views: 1333

Re: SciFaiku

Hi Mac there's a wealth of story-telling in these little nuggets. I wonder if you have come across haibun? That allows a mixing of descriptive prose and haiku (not necessarily tethered to a rigid 5-7-5 form). While the classic setting for haiku and haibun is the natural world, contemporary writers c...