Search found 50 matches

by riverrun
Tue Oct 08, 2019 1:33 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: pure waste (revision)
Replies: 4
Views: 448

Re: pure waste (*revision)

First of all thanks for your patience and very detailed criticism. It pleases me a lot. In this post I ll concur with what you realized: there's indeed some incongruity with the 1st stanza (the one who presents the problem) and the others (specially those that sends us to the 1st "then I go back to ...
by riverrun
Fri Oct 04, 2019 1:41 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: pure waste (revision)
Replies: 4
Views: 448

Re: pure waste (*revision)

Wow! I'm at work right, very busy lately. You deserve a better answer at weekends (and I'll definitely reply). Really pleased by all your comments.

Best
by riverrun
Fri Sep 27, 2019 2:04 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: pure waste (revision)
Replies: 4
Views: 448

pure waste (revision)

a stone goes through stained glass. the surrounding still life on its micro cosmos barely breaks the pipe dream made of thousand-year slumber within the smooth debris while shards of glass accuse in vain the integrity of yore; heavens and edens from the window edges arise from the never-spoken-fake ...
by riverrun
Fri Sep 27, 2019 1:40 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: The Window Washer
Replies: 7
Views: 611

Re: The Window Washer

The Window Washer is the worst voyeur in the world. That is why this poem is very interesting from a conceptual point of view. Flaubert once said that it is essential to "write the mediocre well." Unlike rear window hitchcock's voyeur, the window washer is there, completely exposed, everyone knows h...
by riverrun
Fri Sep 27, 2019 1:33 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Niagaras
Replies: 3
Views: 321

Re: Niagaras

Joining the etymologic aspect brought by NotQuiteSure, also vermin ('worm') also gave to latin root languages the color red ('vermicŭlus' / 'vermiglio' / 'vermelho'), which was made of pigment of those worms.

best
by riverrun
Thu Aug 22, 2019 6:35 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: equinox (revision)
Replies: 4
Views: 377

Re: equinox

Thanks I ll do the correction about the "with" and "of". Regarding the cliches they actually aren't. The arcane subject in Shakespeare work's can be found not infrequently on medieval astronomy which at that time was also close to medieval astrology. Equinox as we know is when the sun, in its appare...
by riverrun
Sat Aug 17, 2019 9:45 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: equinox (revision)
Replies: 4
Views: 377

Re: equinox

No, you can keep criticizing. I really liked your posts. Made me wonder and they were always pertinent. Thanks for your comment.

best
by riverrun
Sun Aug 11, 2019 11:11 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: equinox (revision)
Replies: 4
Views: 377

equinox (revision)

it's so easy to get carried away and why we shouldn't? what is so essential about to remain steady? which cycle doesn't lose the course from its source and which river doesn't simply disappears on its pale remembrance, aside all lives in stand by as if arise by weak force? who said that to be or not...
by riverrun
Sun Aug 11, 2019 11:08 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Preludes at 4 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 597

Re: Preludes at 4 AM

I liked how you solved the poem's whereabouts by using " to the center / of these recollections. " because as the poem goes you voluntarily seem to not get too much attached, but at the same time you don't want to seem removed -- the state of contemplation while living the moment. It's always a risk...
by riverrun
Sun Aug 11, 2019 10:49 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Madonna in the Mosque
Replies: 12
Views: 660

Re: Madonna in the Mosque

I loved the imagery from "Bosphorous awaken", this verse seems to abridge a whole poem itself.

best
by riverrun
Fri Aug 09, 2019 4:39 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: safety mode (revision)
Replies: 10
Views: 704

Re: safety mode (revision)

Thanks Jules. I'm sorry for delay the answer to your post. I was very busy this week. Interesting that I personally met Margaret Atwood in my country. She and others poets founded an important literary festival (FLIP / Paraty) where my parents live and I go every year. At that time she spoke exactly...
by riverrun
Wed Jul 31, 2019 1:18 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: safety mode (revision)
Replies: 10
Views: 704

Re: safety mode (revision)

Interesting post (+ link) Mac. Tha'ts why I'm posting here on beginners section. Now I understood what you spoke of. Some details and peculiarities are lost for those who aren't native speakers and obviously won't sound so well on native eyes/ears. I presume this is one of this moments. The "a" brea...
by riverrun
Sun Jul 28, 2019 1:20 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: safety mode (revision)
Replies: 10
Views: 704

Re: safety mode (revision)

I will respectfully disagree with you Mac. The outcome of prosaic and poetic mindset are completly different. Must be. If use prosaically any symbol (syn + ballein) you must establishes space and time (even when you choose to conceal them as 20th century writers often did - James Joyce, Marcel Prous...
by riverrun
Fri Jul 26, 2019 5:31 am
Forum: Prose/Fiction Discussion
Topic: Who's reading what?
Replies: 491
Views: 156927

Re: Who's reading what?

Peter Schlemihl's Miraculous Story by Adelbert von Chamisso A story about a man who sold his shadow to the devil for endless fortune. The book has many plot twists and one appealing philosophical end. Most people say it's a children's book. It's not. Most children's books have a strong moral messag...
by riverrun
Fri Jul 26, 2019 4:28 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: safety mode (revision)
Replies: 10
Views: 704

Re: safety mode

Ty for the comments. Ops it was indeed a typo. Thanks again (bad habit of writing at night it's the cause of this sloppiness). about the break lines they are not random. It was on purpose. I wanted them in that way to break the physiological/logical componentes of speech (phonation, resonance, fluen...
by riverrun
Wed Jul 24, 2019 7:41 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Epistle to Ms Austen
Replies: 22
Views: 925

Re: Epistle to Ms Austen

This little poem reminded me of a conversation I had with a teacher some time ago on how a woman (Jane Austen) writing about the british landed gentry at the end of the 18th century would become so popular, imitated and translated (here on Brazil she only 'lose' to Shakespeare in the publishing mark...
by riverrun
Wed Jul 24, 2019 7:08 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: safety mode (revision)
Replies: 10
Views: 704

safety mode (revision)

beyond all those hilltops something happened as it always seems: an afterglow brought clear skies and open seas, while the sunset would align with the random set of imaginary lovers which by whim and oversight barely did what they're supposed to. kisses and promises were aimlessly given while the cl...
by riverrun
Mon Jul 15, 2019 5:17 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: MAGA RAKA fooka rooka (Oswald on Bass) was Shack-Kerouac
Replies: 15
Views: 962

Re: Shack Kerouac

I probably can't relate with all political peculiarities that both were talking about in USA but I can do that making a not very strict generalization. After all what's is a politician? We usually speak about all the trades of lawmaking (industry, finnance, lobby, media-public opinion, military, the...
by riverrun
Sun Jul 14, 2019 11:58 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: MAGA RAKA fooka rooka (Oswald on Bass) was Shack-Kerouac
Replies: 15
Views: 962

Re: Shack Kerouac

Perhaps it's not entirely accurate to say neologism but maybe a revival (and fusion) of classical terms within the US countryside context: "lugubriously", "hincty", "lackadaddy", "Blah-blahed somewhat", "dingledodies", "Saroyan's town" and even regular words as "Tea" seems to have other meanings in ...
by riverrun
Sat Jul 13, 2019 5:58 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: asepsis (revision)
Replies: 5
Views: 366

Re: asepsis

Hi Poet, Perry and Barret. Thank your for your comments first. About the "I question the question mark at the end of S1 and I'm not sure about S2 L1, should that be 'he'll sight the same sight' or 'he'll sigh at the same sight'?" it's indeed " he'll sigh" so thanks for the grammar checking... About ...
by riverrun
Wed Jul 10, 2019 8:21 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: asepsis (revision)
Replies: 5
Views: 366

asepsis (revision)

then one man will pursue the sea to be drowned by his small span. he'll dissect and persecute depths, obsessed with whales and abysses, hoping to find the X of cartesian charts or reach the apex through his overcast antithesis of moon eclipses and its inherent ellipses or would be ellipsis, these ra...
by riverrun
Wed Jul 10, 2019 8:21 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: First Language V2
Replies: 28
Views: 1076

Re: First Language V2

Strangely I liked more the first draft (V1), more elliptical. The last verse " the prey limp in the hunter's jaws" remebered in some sense the Songs of Innocence and Experience of William Blake -- the verse separated from the other stanzas gives a feeling of cutting.

Best
by riverrun
Wed Jul 10, 2019 7:47 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: MAGA RAKA fooka rooka (Oswald on Bass) was Shack-Kerouac
Replies: 15
Views: 962

Re: Shack Kerouac

The beat generation not only did contribute to the expansion of slang, it gave an always fresh discursive trait. Of course, Rap achieved this but sectorized in each neighborhood (East-West Coast). It became a way of life farther beyond bohemian (or gypsy) behaviors. When Holywood absorbs it would be...
by riverrun
Tue Jun 25, 2019 2:58 am
Forum: Post-a-Translation
Topic: entrenchment clauses by ramonlvdiaz
Replies: 2
Views: 3268

Re: entrenchment clauses by ramonlvdiaz

Actually this is my poem which I translated. I'm brazilian with spanish father. Glad that you liked the zeitgeist pace. It's the result of post electoral campaign here on Brazil -- so the vertigo was almost a prerequisite. Regarding the specificity of some translations I agree with Henri Meschonnic,...
by riverrun
Sun Jun 23, 2019 6:57 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Paco de Lucia 21.30 (V2)
Replies: 8
Views: 1172

Re: Paco de Lucia 21.30 (V2)

The poem has a strong chronicle quality and invite us from the begining to travel to somewhere and embrace art and politcs in a broader way. Politics and Art like our western founders did in Ancient Greece. Paco de Lucia probably top 5 contemporary guitar players had an important gypsy influence in ...