Search found 10 matches

by birdboy
Wed Jan 02, 2019 6:12 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Night Shift.
Replies: 7
Views: 532

Re: Night Shift.

Hello Ray! I was imagining the tripod turnstile - the one they use as entry/exit barriers but such details shouldn't hinder a reader so I'll look into it. I'll work on the fly contemplating. Thank you for your comments!

Regards

Atharva
by birdboy
Wed Jan 02, 2019 12:51 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Night Shift.
Replies: 7
Views: 532

Re: Night Shift.

Hello Mac! Now that you've pointed it out, I realize I've used a lot of -ing. I also felt like there wasn't a good narrative to back up the imagery so I'll work upon that. Steel turnstile because 1) they are very shiny from what I've seen in stores/malls so the lizard could use it to focus the light...
by birdboy
Wed Jan 02, 2019 10:31 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Night Shift.
Replies: 7
Views: 532

Re: Night Shift.

Hello Tristan! Thank you for your helpful comments. I've noted them all down.
Thanks for reading! :D

Regards

Atharva
by birdboy
Wed Jan 02, 2019 5:33 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Night Shift.
Replies: 7
Views: 532

Night Shift.

The lizard mounts a light beam on a steel turnstile scaling closer to its prey resting its cold head upon the cashier dreaming underneath a sky of LEDs with clouds spread like lint on a blue sweater. A fly contemplates upon the thermal paper rolling out of the billing machine. Outside, midnight is c...
by birdboy
Sun Dec 30, 2018 6:57 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Sleepover (revision)
Replies: 13
Views: 1326

Re: Sleepover

Hello Mac I find it curious that a father who has taught his child to skin a badger would warn him against hiding under granny's bed (assuming that he knew about the bones) unless he has a sinister motive. The fresh red bone, for me, arouses the desire in the child to skin a badger. While the whole ...
by birdboy
Fri Dec 28, 2018 7:43 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Understanding Love
Replies: 8
Views: 876

Re: Understanding Love

The word ‘dictionary’ is seldom looked up, for the obvious reason, and every time any other word is looked up its meaning is reaffirmed. I'm attaching a metaphysical connotation to these lines. There is something powerful in trying to use something and in the process affirm its existence/ identity....
by birdboy
Fri Dec 28, 2018 7:06 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Invisible Mending (revision)
Replies: 5
Views: 602

Re: Invisible Mending

severed threads don't mend and never will there is no magic but a smaller spell Would a spell here mean deception? Because without magic, spells wouldn't exist. a little warp a tiny steal Here I am sensing that the damage cannot be undone so the strings are being twisted into something new - a patc...
by birdboy
Fri Dec 28, 2018 4:57 pm
Forum: Hello, Good Evening and Welcome
Topic: I have done it again.
Replies: 6
Views: 777

Re: I have done it again.

No, I do not mind at all :D I understand that it is Christmas time so I'm dipping into the resources posted here and reading the very helpful guides. Have a merry Christmas David!

Regards

Atharva
by birdboy
Fri Dec 28, 2018 4:29 pm
Forum: Hello, Good Evening and Welcome
Topic: I have done it again.
Replies: 6
Views: 777

Re: I have done it again.

Hello David!

My real name is Atharva. I am okay with being addressed as birdboy or by my real name. Thank you for welcoming me here.

Regards

Atharva
by birdboy
Fri Dec 28, 2018 9:29 am
Forum: Hello, Good Evening and Welcome
Topic: I have done it again.
Replies: 6
Views: 777

I have done it again.

Lady Lazarus I have done it again. One year in every ten I manage it—— Hello everyone, I am a university student in India. Until a few years ago I used to read and write poetry, except, I struggled with intonation and other poetic devices (and I still do). Being worried that I could not derive the ...