Search found 6 matches

by NMOliver
Wed Jun 13, 2018 11:56 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Ruins At Dawn
Replies: 5
Views: 1850

Re: The Ruins At Dawn

feasted by separate shadows, I would put 'feasted on'. Yes spot on pine knuckles snap. I don't know what 'pine knuckles' means. It is a brand of beer but i assume you are referring to real knuckles but I'm not sure how. This was in reference to the monsters I mentioned, and in particular the sound o...
by NMOliver
Tue Jun 12, 2018 3:07 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Ruins At Dawn
Replies: 5
Views: 1850

Re: The Ruins At Dawn

Hey thanks for your thoughts here. I agree with L3 being too short. Just struggling to tidy it up. Had thought of eyed instead of watched - what do you think? Definitely no need for and before pine knuckles. I will swiftly remove it. The lines in S2 definitely has a purpose for me but maybe it is pe...
by NMOliver
Mon Jun 11, 2018 10:11 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Ruins At Dawn
Replies: 5
Views: 1850

The Ruins At Dawn

It's no longer monsters I fear in these hours, as we lie feasted by separate shadows, copper limbs aching pine knuckles snap. Hopeful of the changing season, the sun's palms offering forgiveness and rebirth. Recalling the days when we only got up for strawberries. Instinct brings us close as cotton ...
by NMOliver
Mon Jun 11, 2018 10:06 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Transference
Replies: 10
Views: 2466

Re: Transference

Hi Ray
I thought this was well done, humorous yet terribly sad.
The final 2 stanzas are excellent and I liked the name drops.
S6 I wasn't so fussed on. I understand it is a very topical theme and to tell it like it was is important.
None the less I enjoyed it very much.
by NMOliver
Mon Jun 11, 2018 9:57 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Inside the Banga
Replies: 10
Views: 2339

Re: Inside the Banga

Hi there
I enjoyed this poem. Knowing nothing of this tree your imagery worked nicely for me.
I like the use of whorls.
Also the use of arabrsque penché. However a suggestion:
his hand an arabesque penché.

Perhaps some trimming here and there but very enjoyable.
by NMOliver
Mon Jun 11, 2018 7:06 pm
Forum: Hello, Good Evening and Welcome
Topic: Hello
Replies: 3
Views: 4148

Hello

Hi everyone

My name is Niall. I'm an Irish guy living and working in London.
I'm looking forward to reading and learning lots here at PG.

See you around.

Niall.