Search found 464 matches

by bjondon
Thu Aug 22, 2019 11:16 am
Forum: Poetry Discussion
Topic: 'Useful Poems' meet 'The Phone Scammer'?
Replies: 0
Views: 9

'Useful Poems' meet 'The Phone Scammer'?

I would welcome your suggestions for any poems I might read out to, or intelligently deploy into the minds of eager phone scammers wishing to help me with my computer or kindly inform me about other criminals. I was thinking maybe Not's excellent 'Different Stations' which starts quite conversationa...
by bjondon
Thu Aug 22, 2019 11:01 am
Forum: Poetry Discussion
Topic: A poem that I read today by Mac
Replies: 28
Views: 702

Re: A poem that I read today by Mac

Wow, that's quite a breath taking poem.
I'd never heard of King before.
Thank you for that mac!
J
by bjondon
Wed Aug 21, 2019 3:57 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Nonsense limericks
Replies: 4
Views: 52

Re: Nonsense limericks

Sheer genius Stuart - at first I thought 3 and 4 lacked the courage of 1 and 2 but they do grow . . . as Not points out, the violence of 4 is breathtaking, once decoded, though probably justified considering the wheens. I am reminded of the late lamented Cutler. I actually like the flatness of 'It w...
by bjondon
Tue Aug 20, 2019 9:40 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Let Yourself Go
Replies: 8
Views: 69

Re: Let Yourself Go

Ok, I have colour coded it. I can't quite work out whether you were getting the whole duality thing elph & mac, though if not it's interesting you like it anyway! elph - thank you for my missing L You slightly misquoted me, possibly intentionally (nibble your food vs nibble at your food) … I think I...
by bjondon
Tue Aug 20, 2019 7:11 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: A Bit of Fun(ambulism) (revised)
Replies: 9
Views: 158

Re: A Bit of Fun(ambulism) (revised)

Hi JJ - a sprightly piece. I am entirely in love with S1 but at a loss as to how to rev up the rest to match it. I don't think the tulips and daffs are doing much - perhaps more technical details re what the squirrels are actually doing to/with them. I'd like a lot more garden apparatus please. Mayb...
by bjondon
Tue Aug 20, 2019 2:10 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: The Knot Garden (revision2)
Replies: 19
Views: 178

Re: The Knot Garden (revised)

Hi mac, another scrumptious offering. I found S3 a bit too plot summary/condensed text/catch-up. Unless you are set on the Dudley connection being spelt out I would drop S3, change 'court' to 'courted' and 'He is bold' to 'He's bold.' I really liked the modern inflection of 'No regrets.' intruding a...
by bjondon
Tue Aug 20, 2019 1:36 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Let Yourself Go
Replies: 8
Views: 69

Let Yourself Go

Rock those hairs on your lip. Sweat with style. Stink a little. Open your mouth wide, and slack. Blush. Say nothing. Show your thighs. And your back. Shit with the door open. Venerate your grey stained knickers with the gone elastic. Fart. In public. With pleasure. Jiggle. And wriggle. And giggle. ...
by bjondon
Mon Aug 19, 2019 7:32 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Dreams
Replies: 7
Views: 159

Re: Dreams

Hi Perry, the workable premise here is that if you take anger, grief and despair and then slap a big enough greasepaint clown smile on top you may, just, escape the twin evils of 'heard it all before' and rampant didacticism. You have a great ear for tragic/comic tone and there's some neat metric an...
by bjondon
Sun Aug 18, 2019 8:33 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: The Difference (V2)
Replies: 5
Views: 83

Re: The Difference (V2)

Thank you Tristan.
Your comments made me look a bit harder at the focus. A V2 up.
And I agree about that semi-colon.
Jules
by bjondon
Sun Aug 18, 2019 1:31 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: The Difference (V2)
Replies: 5
Views: 83

The Difference (V2)

Two greys remain; they are stubbornly different. I can't see them ever changing; grey and gray. Neither side ever gave in; and why should they? It's such a little thing, a fine line. Everything else sloughed and slid into mid-atlantic with a certain gleeful élan. But gray and grey they did and shall...
by bjondon
Sun Aug 18, 2019 12:28 pm
Forum: Poetry Discussion
Topic: Leaf's wreaths
Replies: 19
Views: 494

Re: Leaf's wreaths

Hi Leaf, I really enjoyed the gentle meandering and inspiring words of this thread. I'm afraid I'm stuck in crit mode and just can't resist saying that I think S3 of your curlew poem has room for improvement . . . my principle motivation for saying that being that the other two stanzas are so brilli...
by bjondon
Sat Aug 17, 2019 7:20 pm
Forum: Poetry Discussion
Topic: Armitage
Replies: 4
Views: 605

Re: Armitage

Thanks mac, I'd missed that. What was his first commission? Actually the only thing I liked about that poem (apart from its contextualisation) was the way the last line reads as if it's unfinished, so you'd automatically turn the pill over. On the other hand, perhaps there really is more on the othe...
by bjondon
Sat Aug 17, 2019 6:18 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: In The December Sky, We Cast a Spell
Replies: 6
Views: 202

Re: In The December Sky, We Cast a Spell

Personally I like those signature 'theres'. If you changed them the poem would lose some of its distinctive character, though it would still be good. I think it was one of the James who cited Billy English in defence of one of your other poems, who also uses a lot of intentional misspellings and odd...
by bjondon
Fri Aug 16, 2019 1:04 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Madonna in the Mosque
Replies: 12
Views: 279

Re: Madonna in the Mosque

Hi Elph - this one definitely grows on you - I like the way the whole swirls around and gives impact to the quiet realisation of the last couplet. The Chekovian ambling atmospherics, the possible political/religious significances do the job of drawing us in but they all turn out to be borrowed music...
by bjondon
Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:41 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Different Stations
Replies: 10
Views: 178

Re: Different Stations

Glad I hit the nail Not :)
I suppose there are lots of reasons for being a 'night owl', but it always struck me as a sort of holiday from your life.
J
by bjondon
Wed Aug 14, 2019 11:57 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Different Stations
Replies: 10
Views: 178

Re: Different Stations

I'm going to vote for 'as is'. Really like the delicious ambiguity of this that speaks to the deep angsty 'who am I?' 'what is this?' void that can haunt that lying-in-bed 'prison' - the need to shut down thought, the way all life's problems can flock into this little waiting room (another 'station'...
by bjondon
Tue Aug 13, 2019 9:40 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Frozen in the Past
Replies: 5
Views: 117

Re: Frozen in the Past

Hi Tristan, this morning I am seeing this is more about love than money. The child 'knows' his parents' love is just temporarily on hold, the purple note even perhaps being a symbol of a heart. Their tired smile contains volumes of pain and hope and love for their son. I'm still struggling a bit wit...
by bjondon
Mon Aug 12, 2019 1:17 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Frozen in the Past
Replies: 5
Views: 117

Re: Frozen in the Past

A good story well told. I like the halucinatory quality, the sort of glowing simplified reality of memory captured in the sentences of the first two stanzas (the form fits it perfectly) - and the way S2 could almost be a dream within a dream. S3 - the shift of focus from N to mother seems to distrac...
by bjondon
Thu Aug 08, 2019 9:52 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: An Abundance of Courgette, But No Apple Tree (revision4)
Replies: 24
Views: 461

Re: An Abundance of Courgette (revision2)

Actually was starting to come round to 'phallic' - it shouldn't be a perjorative word but somehow always is ; using it there did seem to grasp the nettle, plus a nice chime with 'cryptic'. 'treasure' though is healing, gives a way back for her lover. If I'm being picky the last line is still not as ...
by bjondon
Thu Aug 08, 2019 2:17 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: An Abundance of Courgette, But No Apple Tree (revision4)
Replies: 24
Views: 461

Re: An Abundance of Courgette (revision2)

'unashamed fruit' is a nice phrase
Maybe substitute 'rude' for 'phallic'?
J
by bjondon
Wed Aug 07, 2019 7:48 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: An Abundance of Courgette, But No Apple Tree (revision4)
Replies: 24
Views: 461

Re: An Abundance of Courgette (revision)

Hi mac, I've been enjoying cycling around this conundrum - the sonics scrumptious! I read it as a rather cheeky interrogation of maleness and femaleness. Adding the extra stanza was definitely a relief - the pressure of searching for sententious symbolism lifted - Eve can just conceivably be an ordi...
by bjondon
Tue Aug 06, 2019 1:26 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Hyperacusiac
Replies: 5
Views: 120

Re: Hyperacusiac

Thank you JJ, mac and Tristan . . . a welcome response from all three of you, pretty much capturing my own conflicted view - I am tending to post my fringiest of poems at the moment i.e. I have a hunch it's working but a suspicion it's nonsense . . . and in a way the ginormous posterboy of nonsense ...
by bjondon
Mon Aug 05, 2019 9:21 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Hyperacusiac
Replies: 5
Views: 120

Hyperacusiac

I'm a hyperacusiac with amusiac tendencies somewhat relieved by trichotillomania I'm a hyperacusiac with amusiac tendencies more and more retrieved by the thrill of instantania This is not what they tell you on the boards of psycho-teranumia This is not exactly believed by the psyche grads blowing c...
by bjondon
Mon Aug 05, 2019 8:22 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Impressions of a Friend
Replies: 11
Views: 277

Re: Impressions of a Friend

I get the feeling that Monet's water lilies had some special significance for this friend - the one redemptive concession in this poem of quiet despair. Very effective. The first three lines of S2 seem like a possible metaphor for a whole life and if that's the intention I'm not sure if it rings qui...
by bjondon
Mon Aug 05, 2019 7:26 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Rock
Replies: 5
Views: 222

Re: The Rock

Ha! It's a lonely job but someone has to do it :)
Glad it raised a snigger or two.
Now I'm wondering how many people I can offend by doing a borough county coastal one-liner.
Jules the Circular