Search found 184 matches

by Ryder
Thu Feb 07, 2019 9:36 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Zong (was Scramble)
Replies: 16
Views: 718

Re: Scramble

Lame and easy parody although I did like the internal rhyme
by Ryder
Mon Dec 12, 2016 2:34 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Admittance of Doubt (was "Things")
Replies: 11
Views: 1025

Re: Admittance of Doubt (was "Things")

Beltin' At first I, like Williamson, was stuttered by the punctuation in S1 but after rereading I think it works really well within the jarring context of window, joist and door. It's very sinister. I like the final line and I don't like it. Assumingly, by previous comments, you're working within th...
by Ryder
Fri Jul 03, 2015 2:48 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The art of packing for a trip
Replies: 25
Views: 1662

Re: I'm afraid this one has been declined too, Sir

Although a very clever take, and somewhat entertaining take, on a woman maniacally dealing with an ultimatum I think it's too depressingly repetitive. Of course thoughts cycle in her situation, hone in on anything, everything from one minute to the next and kudos for capturing one minute of that pro...
by Ryder
Fri Jun 26, 2015 2:22 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Night Dog v2
Replies: 4
Views: 476

Re: Night Dog

I like the play on bitumen/ bitch and I really like the subject matter. It's dark and intrusive and the protagonist is asleep. What I don't like is the punctuation in the first half. Perhaps even the second half. Punctuation has to be a contentious issue in poetry. Personally I think it could live w...
by Ryder
Wed Jun 24, 2015 1:19 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Junk Cow
Replies: 13
Views: 776

Re: Junk Cow

I really like the junkiness and it all clunks together nicely, and clunking things together nicely is no easy task for a poet. It did go a bit soft toward the end and I suspect that was you trying to round it off but that isn't necessary its an angular poem. Nice 1
by Ryder
Sun Apr 26, 2015 4:42 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Summer of Balloons - revision
Replies: 17
Views: 1217

Re: The Summer of Balloons - revision

It's ludricous. The circus comes to town.

I would definitely keep this: We waded waist-high from house to house. Knives
proved ineffectual at the very start,
by Ryder
Sat Jul 05, 2014 2:57 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Walk Home (was Agapanthus)
Replies: 11
Views: 783

Re: Agapanthus

Easy to read and, to me, a great contemporary take on Bavarian Gentians. Much enjoyed, hope to see more. Oh and I imagined David Thewlis reading it.
by Ryder
Thu Jan 09, 2014 9:26 am
Forum: Hello, Good Evening and Welcome
Topic: Poets Graves!
Replies: 9
Views: 2069

Re: Poets Graves!

Thanks, kj
I was originally 'minstrel' but had email/ password issues logging in
by Ryder
Mon Jan 06, 2014 11:46 am
Forum: Hello, Good Evening and Welcome
Topic: Poets Graves!
Replies: 9
Views: 2069

Re: Poets Graves!

Thanks, Oskar.

I moved to west Australia 3 years ago, from north west England where that poem is set.
It'll be interesting to see, to me at least, the influence this new landscape might have.
by Ryder
Sat Jan 04, 2014 3:20 pm
Forum: Hello, Good Evening and Welcome
Topic: Poets Graves!
Replies: 9
Views: 2069

Re: Poets Graves!

Cheers, Seth.
by Ryder
Thu Jan 02, 2014 4:32 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Island time
Replies: 15
Views: 464

Re: Island time

I like the abruptness of s5, 'so when we left', and the contrast with previous stanzas thereafter. The alliteration in s6 seems isolated, dunno...maybe draws those those last verses together. Great Tempo.
by Ryder
Thu Jan 02, 2014 4:12 pm
Forum: Hello, Good Evening and Welcome
Topic: Poets Graves!
Replies: 9
Views: 2069

Re: Poets Graves!

Thanks, Dave. Is Camus still around? I've just noticed KJ is.
by Ryder
Thu Jan 02, 2014 3:38 pm
Forum: Hello, Good Evening and Welcome
Topic: Poets Graves!
Replies: 9
Views: 2069

Poets Graves!

Hello, good evening and welcome Good to know this site is still up and running! It was a great learning source for me and after recently feeling the itch to write again I'd like to re-introduce myself, as an opportunity, to the forum. After a quick scan I recognise a few names, perhaps one or two of...
by Ryder
Thu Jan 02, 2014 3:17 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: halfdream # 9 (rv.)
Replies: 4
Views: 204

Re: halfdream # 9

I'm surprised you summoned the energy to post this! unless you dictated it then had it pinned to a passing medicine trolley from whence by chance by wench it hence found itself here!
by Ryder
Tue May 17, 2011 12:13 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Cradle (de-rev'd)
Replies: 19
Views: 610

Re: The Cradle

This is really good.

My only nit would be. 'some firearm' as opposed to 'a firearm'...it seems too vague and I think the similie is strong enough to be more specific.


Good stuff.
by Ryder
Fri Jun 11, 2010 7:53 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Seamlessly
Replies: 11
Views: 470

Re: Seamlessly

Very nice. I have no problem with the form, it rattles and swings and jars yet remains rythmic like a loom and in the same sense weaves a nice end product. Like Ray, I liked the 'She twists her future with her past, he separates instead;' line a lot. My only nit would be the last line...'and loves h...
by Ryder
Mon May 03, 2010 10:16 pm
Forum: Music and Song Lyric Discussion
Topic: Great song intros anyone?
Replies: 12
Views: 613

Re: Great song intros anyone?

by Ryder
Sat Apr 10, 2010 2:38 am
Forum: Music and Song Lyric Discussion
Topic: Romano Nunes 'Cabelo'
Replies: 1
Views: 312

Romano Nunes 'Cabelo'

by Ryder
Wed Mar 17, 2010 4:29 pm
Forum: Music and Song Lyric Discussion
Topic: The Dubliners
Replies: 2
Views: 222

Re: The Dubliners

And again singing Kavanagh's Raglan Road. Happy Paddys day.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRHeTIcg ... re=related[/youtube]
by Ryder
Thu Jul 09, 2009 1:53 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Company
Replies: 14
Views: 375

Re: The Company

I got an impression of airborne seeds, although that being the case I think the metaphor is stretched to the extreme.

Particularly liked the sonics/ half rhyme of first three lines of S2.
by Ryder
Thu Feb 19, 2009 2:45 pm
Forum: Music and Song Lyric Discussion
Topic: Chris Smither-Train Home
Replies: 5
Views: 396

Re: Chris Smither-Train Home

Nice find MF.
by Ryder
Sun Jan 18, 2009 11:36 pm
Forum: Barrie
Topic: Favourite Poem by Barrie
Replies: 15
Views: 6716

Re: Favourite Poem by Barrie

I was always fond of this poem, one of Barrie's earliest posts on the forum. Originally titled 'Gerald's Cross'. I never did find out who Gerald was. It also contains some of his beloved 'Unwinese'. A very animated poem. Broken Crosses i must go down to the graves again where they put them when they...
by Ryder
Thu Jan 08, 2009 10:40 pm
Forum: Barrie
Topic: VERY SAD NEWS
Replies: 40
Views: 19256

Re: VERY SAD NEWS

His love of poetry in itself was an inspiration.

It was good knowing you Leyther.

Ryder/ Minstrel
by Ryder
Mon Nov 17, 2008 9:44 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: In the dark
Replies: 3
Views: 267

Re: In the dark

Now I can see where the crits are coming from, and to some extent agree. Can also see, though, the alliterative modifiers used to clearly define the character. Liked the 'winter death skin-put me in' lines a lot. I had more trouble with the final verse, which seemed at odds with the 'grittiness'?......
by Ryder
Mon Nov 17, 2008 9:26 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Torcello
Replies: 13
Views: 506

Re: Torcello

Another poem with place names. They really sound good don't they, when used sympathetically, and here I think they are.

A nice trip, and at a serene pace.