Search found 1666 matches

by NotQuiteSure
Mon May 25, 2020 2:49 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Never in a Month of Sundays
Replies: 1
Views: 28

Never in a Month of Sundays

. Never in a Month of Sundays I wanted to write a clever political poem, really, I did. But then he said it, actually said it – integrity – and I had to stop and go to the window, for surely there would be a pig flying by, any second now. Perhaps more than one, and I didn't want to miss that. But t...
by NotQuiteSure
Mon May 25, 2020 11:38 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Jilted
Replies: 6
Views: 155

Re: Jilted

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Hi T,
thanks for the read, and the suggested edit.
It costs me too much, I think. Can't kick at a would be classicist without the classical
references, and the idea of the piece, of being spurned by History herself, vanishes
without them.

Regards, Not


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by NotQuiteSure
Sun May 24, 2020 5:34 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Jilted
Replies: 6
Views: 155

Re: Jilted

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You're welcome, Lotus.

I'd be interested in seeing those images (if there are any)
as well :) There's not much on-line that I was able to find.

Regards, Not

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by NotQuiteSure
Sun May 24, 2020 5:30 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Motorway Bridge
Replies: 2
Views: 41

Re: Motorway Bridge

. Hi Tony, liked the first two stanzas, but didn't find the third that engaging (the last line of S2 seems to offer a much better ending). Could do with a little trimming and, if possibly, something better than 'zooming traffic'? Doppler gives the sound, not sure that 'zooming' offers much. 'notice...
by NotQuiteSure
Sun May 24, 2020 12:00 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: What's the Point of Puddles? (v3)
Replies: 15
Views: 155

Re: What's the Point of Puddles? (v3)

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Hi Tony,
thanks for the read.
(I need the 'doubt' in the piece, but will ponder).

Regards, Not



- changed S4 from

Or the stomach drop, at apogee,
as a cumulus of doubt
would scud aross your cloudless sky
a fleeting, faint-heart, thought


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by NotQuiteSure
Sun May 24, 2020 11:58 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: the night sky V4
Replies: 8
Views: 150

Re: the night sky V4

. Hi Tristan. Well I am a non-mathematician Me too! And a non-astronomer, but ... the science of astronomy uses mythology to map the constellations Does it? It's inherited the mythological 'images' certainly, but does it still use them to map? The 88 official ones are not being added to, are they? ...
by NotQuiteSure
Sat May 23, 2020 12:13 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Daughter's Gift
Replies: 4
Views: 47

Re: Daughter's Gift

. Hi T, this doesn't feel either original or interesting (or short enough!) to me (though perhaps there are parents out there with whom this will strike a chord). (S5 - 'canals' seems ill-chosen, and the ambiguity of 'her' (is it N's wife's legs being hoisted) is amusing, though clearly unintention...
by NotQuiteSure
Sat May 23, 2020 11:43 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: What's the Point of Puddles? (v3)
Replies: 15
Views: 155

Re: What's the Point of Puddles? (v2)

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Thanks mac,
much appreciated.


Regards, Not.


- version three -

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by NotQuiteSure
Fri May 22, 2020 1:56 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: the night sky V4
Replies: 8
Views: 150

Re: night sky

. Hi Tristan. it loses a little too much for me Always the danger :) Just to say, I never found the coordinates (abscissa and ordinate) to be characterless (not to mention the z coordinate used in modern astronomy). They carry the history of exploration and discovery with them (that 'mere' :) mythm...
by NotQuiteSure
Fri May 22, 2020 1:35 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: What's the Point of Puddles? (v3)
Replies: 15
Views: 155

Re: What's the Point of Puddles?

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Hi T.

Dithering over italicising have, it's a stressed syllable (until JJ tells me it isn't :) ) so I'll hold off for a while longer.

Thanks again.

Regards, Not

- revision posted -


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by NotQuiteSure
Fri May 22, 2020 12:33 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Piper At The Gates Of Dawn (revised)
Replies: 7
Views: 88

Re: Birdies At The Gates Of Dawn (revised)

. Hi Mac, preferred the original title, 'birdies' (here) seems a bit too trivial somehow. To return to 'sallow' and 'sophist', how about True, back then, he was a bookish fellow ... He let the scholar sleep, breathed (deep) the songs Any alternative to 'living' (L7)? It rather clips the heels of 'l...
by NotQuiteSure
Fri May 22, 2020 11:18 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: What's the Point of Puddles? (v3)
Replies: 15
Views: 155

Re: What's the Point of Puddles?

. Hi T, thanks for returning. It's a 'carpe diem' piece (puddles being a metaphor for ... well, whatever you want :) ) so I don't want to have to spell everything out. And (depending on where you put the emphasis - I'd suggest have) I thought it would be reasonably clear that (in S3) N doesn't thin...
by NotQuiteSure
Fri May 22, 2020 10:46 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: What's the Point of Puddles? (v3)
Replies: 15
Views: 155

Re: What's the Point of Puddles?

. Hi Tristan, Trevor thanks for the read. Tristan. I offered mac an alternative to simoon (scud, above) - would that suffice? And what's you beef with apogee? :) - it continues on from 'lift-off' (I hope). S4 - 'point of no return' (yes, a familiar phrase) but I was pairing it with 'being born' (th...
by NotQuiteSure
Thu May 21, 2020 1:36 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Piper At The Gates Of Dawn (revised)
Replies: 7
Views: 88

Re: Piper At The Gates Of Dawn

. Hi mac. An excellent (and entertaining) biography, not quite certain about the movement from 'sallow' (connotation 'dirty' or 'yellow' (lacking convictions?)) to 'black and white' (but that's a nice ending). Maybe 'those birdies' ? ('the' seems a bit feeble, somehow). Shouldn't ratty be Ratty (an...
by NotQuiteSure
Thu May 21, 2020 12:52 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: What's the Point of Puddles? (v3)
Replies: 15
Views: 155

Re: What's the Point of Puddles?

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Thanks for returning mac,
line duely tweaked
(so too 'splashing' S7/L4).

Regards, Not


PS should simoon prove too problematic, how about
when a cumulus of doubt
would scud across your sky
?
(rather like the missile connection :) )


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by NotQuiteSure
Thu May 21, 2020 11:48 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: What's the Point of Puddles? (v3)
Replies: 15
Views: 155

Re: What's the Point of Puddles?

. Hi mac, thanks for the read. Title caught my attention Must admit, it's my new favourite :) You may want to revisit the repetition of felt - I rather liked it (oddly) but open to suggestions. (Would you prefer or just how good it felt to feel your sole depart ?) I googled simoon - Yes, I know, bu...
by NotQuiteSure
Thu May 21, 2020 11:45 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: the night sky V4
Replies: 8
Views: 150

Re: night sky

Hi Tristan, like the form, but think the (astronomical) content is rather weak. Could you cut those elements and just have something like Constellation (agree with Trevor about the Title) ................ * .............. myth .............................................. * ...........................
by NotQuiteSure
Thu May 21, 2020 10:36 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: What's the Point of Puddles? (v3)
Replies: 15
Views: 155

What's the Point of Puddles? (v3)

. v3 What's the Point of Puddles? So, how long has it been do you think, since you've sploshed? And not some accidental ankling whilst running for the bus. But, given it both wellies, decided to commit, not side-stepped, with excuses, around the edge of it. Maybe you have forgotten how to measure o...
by NotQuiteSure
Mon May 18, 2020 12:40 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Biscuits
Replies: 8
Views: 102

Re: Biscuits

. Hi Trevor, my reaction is the same as Pauline's, so much potential (etymological, historical, political, comedic) but the current draft doesn't seem to know what it wants to achieve (the last verse seems particularly weak). Have you ever studied the biscuit, - if you're going to open with this li...
by NotQuiteSure
Sun May 17, 2020 6:19 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: before Life was Art
Replies: 13
Views: 214

Re: before Life was Art

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Hi Lotus.
lotus wrote:
Sun May 17, 2020 4:50 pm
an alternative opportunity to read The Title and then the next line in Grey
skipping the black italics
Indeed, and it is there I inopportunely stumble. :)
before Life was Art / often she reminisced
I think it's because I'm suspicious that often should be Often.

Regards, Not


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by NotQuiteSure
Sat May 16, 2020 11:33 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: At a Distance
Replies: 2
Views: 54

Re: At a Distance

. Hi Eira, feels like two separate pieces to me (S1-3 and S4-7) that haven't come together successfully ... yet. I like the fiery 'ablaze' but then there's the damp squib of 'blossomed' (couldn't April be doing something equally incendiary to the trees?) and 'confetti' doesn't lead anywhere. Is the...
by NotQuiteSure
Sat May 16, 2020 11:15 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: La Belle dame sans Merci
Replies: 4
Views: 110

Re: La Belle dame sans Merci

. Hi Tony, not keen on the title (why isn't it updated along with the rest of the language.) For me, the lack of characterisation is a weakness and the ending (s10-12) suffers as a consequence. Not inclined to invest emotionally in the 'handsome man'. There doesn't seem to be enough of you in the p...
by NotQuiteSure
Thu May 14, 2020 11:45 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: before Life was Art
Replies: 13
Views: 214

Re: before Life was Art

. Hi Lotus (and welcome back), a poetic joke? Virtually a one-liner. If so, I like it. If not, I still like it. :) But I don't understand why the last line is in the same font as the title (and your signature). You'll have your reasons, I'm sure, but they're eluding me. Should it be 'nor even' (L2)...
by NotQuiteSure
Wed May 13, 2020 4:57 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Jilted
Replies: 6
Views: 155

Re: Jilted

. Hi Lotus, good to be read by you. I don't know how much it will help, but, here's the main cast, bar one ... :) Kresilas ( c. 480 – c. 410 BC) - sculptor in the Classical period best known for his statue of Pericles Clio - the Muse of History (mother of Hymen, sister of the narrator ) Archytas (4...
by NotQuiteSure
Wed May 13, 2020 1:11 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Poetry kit x1
Replies: 3
Views: 215

Re: Poetry kit x1

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Yes, congrats Tristan.
Macavity wrote:
Wed May 13, 2020 1:07 am
(in its finalised version!)
Ah, but is it? :)

Regards, Not

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