Search found 1897 matches

by dedalus
Thu Aug 27, 2015 11:59 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: I want to hold you
Replies: 3
Views: 468

Re: I want to hold you

Thank you, ladies!
Bren
by dedalus
Sun Aug 23, 2015 11:57 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: I want to hold you
Replies: 3
Views: 468

I want to hold you

I want to hold you but I cannot hold you … not in front of a policeman not when the lights are turning red not when people are looking not when your eyes are shining not when a cough is coming not when war still rages not when the climate changes not when children are hungry perhaps when it rains we...
by dedalus
Tue Aug 18, 2015 4:58 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: PCoD
Replies: 2
Views: 423

PCoD

PCoD It was the right place in some senses, the wrong one in others. Being here had confirmed my faith, but weakened my conviction. Now the calendar bends to another day, the clock to another hour. There is nothing to be ashamed of, nor anything to be proud of either. Swallows swoop on the skyline, ...
by dedalus
Fri Jul 10, 2015 12:14 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Charleston
Replies: 3
Views: 592

Charleston

Regard the gimcrack jalousies of the jaded south whence come cries of anguish rolling over the plain. Grandparents will outlive their children’s children and mothers, hollow-eyed, will take to their beds. The War, say the living, is over! But it will never be over for the dead, blank-eyed, rotting i...
by dedalus
Sun Jul 05, 2015 1:35 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The circus tent billows in the wind
Replies: 4
Views: 303

Re: The circus tent billows in the wind

Thanks, David. I was trying for simplicity of rhyme but what I got was a clodhopper.I feel there's more wrong somewhere ....
by dedalus
Wed Jul 01, 2015 12:22 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The circus tent billows in the wind
Replies: 4
Views: 303

The circus tent billows in the wind

The procession halts in a fanfare of blazing trumpets, a cough of rolling drums. Sudden silence! Let me introduce my friends: step up and say hello! Gene is acrobatic: he scurries in and out of locked rooms, but has never yet been caught. Anne is temperamental, which means what it says, mental with ...
by dedalus
Fri Jun 26, 2015 11:10 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: CSI Münster
Replies: 20
Views: 646

Re: CSI Münster

Well, there's good drivel and there's bad drivel; there's the interesting and then there's the boring. I've lately been assured by two angels, one with his head smashed in by hammer blows and the other hanging on to the cathedral door by nailed-in tendons, that this account was authentic and definit...
by dedalus
Fri Jun 26, 2015 9:23 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Hollow -edit
Replies: 25
Views: 1304

Re: Hollow -edit

The tea in a pink cup (not any old mug) suggests you are known to the forehead-kisser who seems likely male but could be female. You appear to fade in and fade out but retain the power of staring. You could be dead or merely missing and were once close (lover, sister, child, parent) to the tea bring...
by dedalus
Thu Jun 25, 2015 6:00 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: For Ann Lovett (CTG)
Replies: 9
Views: 783

Re: For Ann Lovett (CTG)

As a previous commentator remarks, The poem not so much wears its heart on its sleeve as wears its heart as a sleeve: as a reader I have nowhere to go in this poem and am simply carried along to the conclusions the poet wishes to draw. I agree with the first part of this sentence but not with the se...
by dedalus
Tue Jun 23, 2015 1:37 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Dark Foreign Gentleman
Replies: 7
Views: 528

Re: The Dark Foreign Gentleman

Dear JJ, Well, that was a marvellous review and I'm still looking at it and counting stresses on my fingers -- in the Japanese way. You bend your thumb, you bend your first, then your 2nd 3rd and 4th fingers until you have a fist of five. Then you start on the other hand. I'm a sometime student of C...
by dedalus
Tue Jun 23, 2015 2:19 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Taiwanese Lessons (Revision 4)
Replies: 31
Views: 1611

Re: Taiwanese Lessons (Revision 3)

The original version strikes me as the best ... if you omit Stanza 2. This stanza adds nothing and introduces loopy language of sorts, at the least ambiguous language.
by dedalus
Tue Jun 23, 2015 2:07 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Not reading on
Replies: 20
Views: 1927

Re: Not reading on

it's a lot of assignations in the garden after dark; it's a lot of situations with a dog that didn't bark; it's a lot of heaving bosoms; it's a lot of bitten tongues; it's a lot of kissing cousins; it's a lot of loaded guns, Classic! But ... "bosoms/ cousins" ????? Buzz 'ems instead of Booze 'ems ?
by dedalus
Tue Jun 23, 2015 1:54 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Daydream of Words in their Sweetest Combination
Replies: 8
Views: 586

Re: The Daydream of Words in their Sweetest Combination

... Like servants/ what they carry belongs to others.

I liked that ver much, Also, the habitat of happiness.
by dedalus
Tue Jun 23, 2015 1:36 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Lyric
Replies: 0
Views: 787

Lyric

Now have I come to sing my song,
to lift my voice and sing for you,
in the dark hour, at a quiet place;
for now is a time of stillness,
when peace fills slowly the fitful heart
and falls with a hush on the fretful brain.
Lie without fear in this sweet-smelling grass
and open your ear to my song.
by dedalus
Sun Jun 21, 2015 1:13 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Dark Foreign Gentleman
Replies: 7
Views: 528

Re: The Dark Foreign Gentleman

Hi David

I could drop "Nature's" from S1L5 but dilike the alteration for it begs the question of what kind of reverses:

"and RINSE their MOUTHS of CURSes"
" aWARE of (NAture's) SLIGHT Re VERSes"

Thanks for the link to TOM O'BEDLAM. I didn't KNOW about the GENtleman-- GENtleMAN??

All the best, Bren
by dedalus
Fri Jun 19, 2015 10:36 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: five methods converge upon a single outcome
Replies: 3
Views: 241

five methods converge upon a single outcome

i. the sudden sick feeling of lost control a kaleidoscopic flashing by of images the frantic squeal of brakes, a torrent of horns a fracture of stillness surrounded by silence a last prayer of regret and resignation ii. a glint of sun on cars far below a stiff breeze, quite surprisingly chilly a sil...
by dedalus
Thu Jun 18, 2015 12:09 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Dark Foreign Gentleman
Replies: 7
Views: 528

Re: The Dark Foreign Gentleman

It seems I have a lot of discarding to do, beginning with S2! I rather like S3, myself, and S4 delivers the "solution" as to who this chap really is. Also ... contrary to supposition, Brian, I DO give a shite but it is neither time-shuddering nor clawing at the soul.

Cheers, gents
Bren
by dedalus
Sun Jun 14, 2015 11:42 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Why I Don't Wave Back
Replies: 13
Views: 802

Re: Why I Don't Wave Back

very atmospheric, introducing a huddle of characters, yet in some ways quite bleak and lonely.
by dedalus
Sun Jun 14, 2015 11:32 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Spring's Messenger
Replies: 13
Views: 819

Re: Spring's Messenger

The English love of gardens
is closely connected with ...
drowsy cricket scores,
the buzzing of bees,
cucumber sandwiches,
the taste of Darjeeling.
by dedalus
Sun Jun 14, 2015 10:22 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Dark Foreign Gentleman
Replies: 7
Views: 528

The Dark Foreign Gentleman

Venezia, 1536 When I dance along the cluttered quays the whores fall babbling to their knees and rinse their mouths of curses; I rest content, may this you please, aware of Nature’s slight reverses. Ships daily ply across the ocean to what harbour towns I have no notion, thus I turn my eyes upon the...
by dedalus
Fri Jun 12, 2015 10:21 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Kick Me Through the Goalposts of Life
Replies: 6
Views: 337

Re: Kick Me Through the Goalposts of Life

Ros -

Our chap may be pleasant and earnest, but he's not very bright.

Cheers,
Bren
by dedalus
Wed Jun 10, 2015 11:55 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Kick Me Through the Goalposts of Life
Replies: 6
Views: 337

Re: Kick Me Through the Goalposts of Life

I like the hoping idea and have chosen moping - 'hoping-roping-moping' As for introducing grit, whatever for? This is a light little thing, a matinee ballad, and has no connection with the grumpy seriousness of the real world.

Thanks for taking a look,
Bren
by dedalus
Tue Jun 09, 2015 12:04 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Kick Me Through the Goalposts of Life
Replies: 6
Views: 337

Re: Kick Me Through the Goalposts of Life

Hi Suzanne,

The title comes from a C&W song, ("Drop Me Jesus Through the Goalposts of Life"), a parody. I was messing about with very simple rhymes the other day when the current rhyme scheme just fell into place. It's not rocket science but it was fun to write and I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Bren
by dedalus
Sun Jun 07, 2015 1:42 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Kick Me Through the Goalposts of Life
Replies: 6
Views: 337

Kick Me Through the Goalposts of Life

Honey, I was hoping, when not out bull-roping that you'd turn your gaze on me: look me over, up and down, just turn your gaze on me! Sweetie, when I go to town my face it settles in a frown when I look around for you: I search with bugle, drum and fife, when I look around for you! Baby, every fork n...
by dedalus
Thu Jun 04, 2015 11:51 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Kaiser Wilhelm in Doorn
Replies: 10
Views: 571

Re: Kaiser Wilhelm in Doorn

Re your proposed changes, I think I prefer the original. Here are some more (unsoliclited) suggestions: I picture him in Doorn, disarmed and rusticated - with maps, telegrams, troop movements, half-spilled furious coffee and schnapps - trying to find the road he overlooked that does not lead to the ...