Search found 292 matches
- Sat Dec 24, 2016 1:46 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: A Proper Pantoumime
- Replies: 19
- Views: 2202
Re: A Proper Pantoumime
Pantomime?
- Sat Dec 24, 2016 10:00 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Words of a Travelling Man
- Replies: 4
- Views: 866
Re: Words of a Travelling Man
Awsome write. Thoroughly enjoyed, no gripes. Well done. Regards Terry
- Fri Dec 23, 2016 10:59 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: So, this is Christmas (1st Edit)
- Replies: 6
- Views: 1028
Re: So, This is Christmas
Hi Mac, your comments and suggestions are welcome as always. Merry Christmas to you and yours. Regards Terry
- Fri Dec 23, 2016 8:14 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: So, this is Christmas (1st Edit)
- Replies: 6
- Views: 1028
Re: So, This is Christmas
Crayon, slip my hand into yours, simply means hold my hand. Merry Christmas
- Fri Dec 23, 2016 3:57 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: So, this is Christmas (1st Edit)
- Replies: 6
- Views: 1028
Re: So, This is Christmas
Luce, I did originally write the poem with themes juxtaposed to one another, but it just seemed too heavy, so went for a two pronged approach. Actually, I expected to get bad reviews, but it is my submission for Christmas and I seem incapable of doing any better. Merry Christmas to you and yours. Re...
- Fri Dec 23, 2016 11:32 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: So, this is Christmas (1st Edit)
- Replies: 6
- Views: 1028
So, this is Christmas (1st Edit)
I Slip my hand into yours and let me walk with you. Let the vision of Christmas whisper across your face. Last minute presents wrapped around the tree. Children in bed, wishing Christmas morning had already won the race. Packages and torn paper laying across a floor full of excited shrieks and hugs ...
- Mon Dec 19, 2016 10:35 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Shrouded Sins ( 5th Edit )
- Replies: 9
- Views: 1339
Re: Shrouded Sins ( 5th Edit )
Mac, thanks for the insight. I'll give it a go. Regards Terry
- Sun Dec 18, 2016 1:38 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: The Perfect Gift
- Replies: 10
- Views: 1274
Re: The Perfect Gift
I like the mind battle going on throughout. I also liked the refrain, not over done. A good poem. Regards Terry
- Sun Dec 18, 2016 12:57 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Press Rewind, and Play.
- Replies: 9
- Views: 1333
Re: Storm in a tea-cup.
Double the the S3 L1
- Sat Dec 17, 2016 11:20 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Shrouded Sins ( 5th Edit )
- Replies: 9
- Views: 1339
Re: Shrouded Sins ( 5th Edit )
Hi Tony, no you're not being negative, if that's what you read. But, S2 is a natural extension of S1, with the beating and battering theme. Actually, I believe this poem to be a cohesive and coherent piece of work. Sorry you don't see it. Regards Terry
- Wed Dec 14, 2016 8:00 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Shrouded Sins ( 5th Edit )
- Replies: 9
- Views: 1339
Re: Darkness Overcome ( 5th Edit )
This is my 5th Edit to this poem. Hopefully, it has become a feasible work
- Mon Dec 12, 2016 11:38 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: A Letter to Georgie - Rev II (Was entitled "What if..?")
- Replies: 17
- Views: 1783
Re: A Letter to Georgie (Previously entitled "What if..?")
Now, that's a poem I understand. Thanks. However, 'there are' instead of 'there're' is a little more edifying I think. Regards Terry
- Sun Dec 11, 2016 8:18 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Little Mayor
- Replies: 18
- Views: 1955
Re: Little Mayor
Lou, cracking poem from start to finish. I feel like I've read a book, so much was the detailed verbal. Well done. Regards Terry
- Sun Dec 11, 2016 6:27 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Elegy for a Knight (1st Edit)
- Replies: 4
- Views: 803
Re: Elegy for a Knight (1st Edit)
Hi David, yes I read the book in my twenties. And yes, it was arduous. I'm a slow reader at the best of times. At the moment I'm revisiting Animal Farm. Who knows Cerventes may be next. I always found it fascinating that he wrote the books whilst a prisoner of fortune. Thank you for your high praise...
- Sun Dec 11, 2016 3:24 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Elegy for a Knight (1st Edit)
- Replies: 4
- Views: 803
Re: Elegy for a Knight
Nice input Mac. Great suggestions
- Sun Dec 11, 2016 1:26 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: A Letter to Georgie - Rev II (Was entitled "What if..?")
- Replies: 17
- Views: 1783
Re: What if...?
Me and poetry must be at odds. This sounds more like a diatribe written for a script/play/book/etc. I must learn to broaden my poetic horizons, because all of the previous comments can't be that wrong. Regards Terry
- Sat Dec 10, 2016 7:00 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Elegy for a Knight (1st Edit)
- Replies: 4
- Views: 803
Elegy for a Knight (1st Edit)
1st Edit Rise up, Scion of La Mancha. Destiny orbited all that you were and encompassed all that you possessed. Windmills stood ten-fold to the fore when you readied your lance. The whipped hide and ungulated hoofs of your barn nag cantered towards betrayal. Your voice was virtuous in timbre against...
- Sat Dec 10, 2016 6:58 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Fried Ice Cream - Revision IV
- Replies: 17
- Views: 1876
Re: Fried Ice Cream - Revision IV
Luce, no worries. Poems are personal and so remain hard to substitute for outsiders. Regards Terry
- Fri Dec 09, 2016 11:05 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Fried Ice Cream - Revision IV
- Replies: 17
- Views: 1876
Re: Fried Ice Cream - Revision IV
'The green intense friction of wreath' etc. Any help?
- Thu Dec 08, 2016 10:43 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: While granddad sleeps (revision2)
- Replies: 12
- Views: 1221
Re: While granddad snores
I'm with Lou, the sum of the parts are not as clear as the parts themselves. But, this does not detract from the sheer strength and dominance of some of the phrasing used in this piece. I like it. Regards Terry
- Thu Dec 08, 2016 10:38 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Fried Ice Cream - Revision IV
- Replies: 17
- Views: 1876
Re: Fried Ice Cream - Revision IV
'The laurelled green intensity of wreaths and scorching reds
of Christmas dresses'. Only a suggestion Luce. Regards Terry
of Christmas dresses'. Only a suggestion Luce. Regards Terry
- Wed Dec 07, 2016 11:32 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Fried Ice Cream - Revision IV
- Replies: 17
- Views: 1876
Re: Fried Ice Cream - Syllabic Verse - Revision IV
Hi Luce,
Would prefer 'fervent greens and scorching reds'. Even then, I believe there is a more precise word waiting to replace 'fervent'. Just my humble opinion. I love sleepers set on he'll, very vivid. Regards Terry
Would prefer 'fervent greens and scorching reds'. Even then, I believe there is a more precise word waiting to replace 'fervent'. Just my humble opinion. I love sleepers set on he'll, very vivid. Regards Terry
- Fri Dec 02, 2016 8:43 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Rainy Days (3rd Edit )
- Replies: 9
- Views: 1326
Re: Rainy Days (3rd Edit )
Hi Luce, suggestions noted. I tried moody thoughts, but I gave it a miss the first time I wrote the poem. Hopefully the latest word fits a little better. Regards Terry
- Wed Nov 23, 2016 6:55 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Rainy Days (3rd Edit )
- Replies: 9
- Views: 1326
Re: Rainy Days (2nd Edit )
Tonymac, thank you for your comments and suggestions. Regards Terry
- Wed Nov 23, 2016 2:39 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Rainy Days (3rd Edit )
- Replies: 9
- Views: 1326
Re: Rainy Days (1st Edit )
Luce, as always invaluable suggestions and steerage. Regards Terry