Search found 2621 matches

by JJWilliamson
Mon Jan 14, 2019 10:58 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: High Swung the Barrel (revised folk ballad)
Replies: 11
Views: 188

Re: High Swung the Barrel (revised folk ballad)

Thanks for looking in on this one, Tristan. Appreciated. Hi JJ, the original sings. It’s great. ...Ah, now that's interesting. I thought it probably needed a touch more but couldn't be sure. But for me the longer lined interspersed verses don’t have the same music and faulted. This may just be me th...
by JJWilliamson
Mon Jan 14, 2019 6:50 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Groaning Stones (was 'Stones')
Replies: 20
Views: 242

Re: The Groaning Stones (was 'Stones')

Yes, it's wonderfully accusatory and funny at one and the same time.

"Sludge"! Is that the best they can do? :)

JJ

PS changed title again.

J
by JJWilliamson
Mon Jan 14, 2019 5:52 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: First Date
Replies: 7
Views: 126

Re: First Date

Good story and more than believable, Perry. I've added a few possibilities/ideas for your perusal, whilst trying to maintain the rhymes and slant rhymes. Take or toss as you see fit. They saw a show, they kissed; the chance of coupling was definitely there — but first, a drink and then a smoke on he...
by JJWilliamson
Mon Jan 14, 2019 5:09 pm
Forum: Post Visual Art
Topic: Angling for Clouds (revised)
Replies: 9
Views: 957

Re: Angling for Clouds (revised)

It's taken me a few weeks but I've revised this painting now by including more foreground detail, and adjusting the reflections and light.

JJ

PS

The revision is on top.

J
by JJWilliamson
Mon Jan 14, 2019 4:52 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Tides
Replies: 17
Views: 254

Re: Tidal

Ah, yes, I knew there was more, mac, and you haven't disappointed, as usual btw. I can see this as an exam question where the students are asked to examine the title and theme. It would be a good one to get your teeth into. Would "Tides" make any difference, with it hinting at the toing and froing r...
by JJWilliamson
Mon Jan 14, 2019 9:58 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: High Swung the Barrel (revised folk ballad)
Replies: 11
Views: 188

Re: High Swung the Barrel

I sang it this morning, David, and cleared the garden of birds. :) Still got some rearranging to consider but this really does take me back to my Marsden Inn days, when my brother, Michael, and I used to frequent the folk club on a Sunday night. Had some great nights there. Revision up JJ We'll all ...
by JJWilliamson
Sun Jan 13, 2019 2:31 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Groaning Stones (was 'Stones')
Replies: 20
Views: 242

Re: Bile & Stones (was 'Stones')

Ha! The possibilities are manifold and I still like the idea of "The Groaning Stones" and I'm also keen on "The Stones". I'm not usually spoilt for choice. I'll have a think about adding more, but at this point I'm happy with the wordplay and mild humour. I just love, love, love the idea of referrin...
by JJWilliamson
Sun Jan 13, 2019 11:52 am
Forum: Hello, Good Evening and Welcome
Topic: I have done it again.
Replies: 6
Views: 243

Re: I have done it again.

Hello, BB, from JJ. :) A hearty welcome to you, Atharva, and please do share your poems with us when you have the time and feel the urge. As for worrying about your approach to poetry, I wish I had a pound for every duff one I've written. :) For me poetry should provoke a reaction of some sort. If I...
by JJWilliamson
Sun Jan 13, 2019 10:19 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Tears
Replies: 9
Views: 156

Re: Tears

Tricky subject to write about, Ross, when there's little to account for the tears. Still, an admirable effort, in my opinion, and one that I enjoyed reading. The punctuation still seems odd to me, and the expected something happened and this is the result didn't materialize. I kept looking for the p...
by JJWilliamson
Sun Jan 13, 2019 9:39 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Groaning Stones (was 'Stones')
Replies: 20
Views: 242

Re: Stones

Maybe "Bile and stones", Not.

That's not a bad idea, given that I really should keep the connection between 'gall' and 'stones' somewhere.
NotQuiteSure wrote:
Sat Jan 12, 2019 11:25 am
.
Ok Doctor, in the new title dept, ...Professor, if you please. :)
how about 'Bile' ?

.
Best

JJ
by JJWilliamson
Fri Jan 11, 2019 6:27 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Groaning Stones (was 'Stones')
Replies: 20
Views: 242

Re: Stones

Thanks, Ray, Not and Honour, for dropping in. Appreciated. Didn't some French geezer write a book on this subject called Remembrance of Things Pissed ? ...Did he? Well, that's close enough. . Hi JJ, works well enough in the raise a smile dept. but I stumble on 'defining', that word just doesn't work...
by JJWilliamson
Fri Jan 11, 2019 6:00 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: High Swung the Barrel (revised folk ballad)
Replies: 11
Views: 188

Re: High Swung the Barrel

Thanks, David, for the encouraging comments. Appreciated.

Yes, a tad more and a refrain, THEN a bit of MUSIC. I'll be singing this tomorrow. :D

Best

JJ
by JJWilliamson
Fri Jan 11, 2019 1:32 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: High Swung the Barrel (revised folk ballad)
Replies: 11
Views: 188

Re: High Swung the Barrel

Right on all counts, Not. Much appreciated response. This is written in 4-3 ballad meter (tet and tri) which probably accounts for the beats you're missing. I wrote this as a song come poem and ended up tying myself in knots with the rhyme scheme. So, I shelved it and looked at the folk song possibi...
by JJWilliamson
Fri Jan 11, 2019 1:25 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Groaning Stones (was 'Stones')
Replies: 20
Views: 242

Re: Stones

No prob's, Tristan. Thanks for dropping in to comment. Appreciated.

It's just a bit of wordplay, aimed at raising a smile.

Best

JJ
Firebird wrote:
Fri Jan 11, 2019 10:49 am
Sorry JJ, this isn’t doing much for me, though I do prefer Perry’s version. It sound more natural to me.

Cheers,

Tristan
by JJWilliamson
Fri Jan 11, 2019 9:24 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Groaning Stones (was 'Stones')
Replies: 20
Views: 242

Re: Stones

Thank you very much, folks, for the generous and supportive comments. Much appreciated, as always. A classic! Made me laugh. How dare she! 'that radiologist' reconfigured as insult. Could you grind out one last oblique groan by calling it The Stones? ...Ha, ha! I like it, Jules. "The groaning stones...
by JJWilliamson
Thu Jan 10, 2019 9:02 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: High Swung the Barrel (revised folk ballad)
Replies: 11
Views: 188

High Swung the Barrel (revised folk ballad)

(In response to Ray's use of the word "poke".) There is a seasoned yarn that tells of Blaster Jack and smoke, of smugglers skirting Marsden Rock and all the drunken folk, where John the Jibber seized his chance to claim the lawman’s poke by whispering in an agent’s ear a tale of smuggler folk. Haul...
by JJWilliamson
Thu Jan 10, 2019 7:29 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Groaning Stones (was 'Stones')
Replies: 20
Views: 242

The Groaning Stones (was 'Stones')

She had some gall,
that radiologist,
defining my pain
as sludge in the bladder.
by JJWilliamson
Thu Jan 10, 2019 6:51 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Let’s Be True To Our Selves
Replies: 14
Views: 214

Re: Let’s Be True To Our Selves

Really enjoyed this, Ray. The title was a bit of a let down but not in any significant way. Poke is quite a common expression up north, especially in the north east and Scotland. It usually refers to a small bag or purse. I've used it myself in a ballad about John the Jibber and Jack the Blaster. Ca...
by JJWilliamson
Wed Jan 09, 2019 8:44 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Something Seasonal
Replies: 6
Views: 376

Re: Something Seasonal

Thoroughly enjoyed, Not, for it's humour and retro feel. You're using one line of iambic trimeter followed by three lines of iambic tetrameter in all three quatrains, which is very pleasing to the ear. I'm still looking at a couple of lines, where the meter breaks a bit, because I'm not sure if it's...
by JJWilliamson
Wed Jan 09, 2019 8:29 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: December Daffodils!
Replies: 7
Views: 149

Re: December Daffodils!

Much enjoyed, Luke, and agree about a stanza break to give you three sestets. Alternatively, you could break at 'dead' and close with the couplet, "So they hurried on,/not knowing how or what to feel". Enjoyed. JJ First seen in Gorslas early on the 20th: clusters of incipient yellow, cars halting, h...
by JJWilliamson
Wed Jan 09, 2019 8:19 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Nutritionist
Replies: 12
Views: 172

Re: The Nutritionist

I studied advanced applied nutrition for two years and have some issues with your opening assertions, but I get your drift, Perry. I think the irony works, given the context, as it presents a clever and believable layman's perspective. I hate to say this, so don't shoot me down in flames, but I thin...
by JJWilliamson
Wed Jan 09, 2019 8:06 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: 22/11/63
Replies: 15
Views: 319

Re: 22/11/63

I was five at the time, David, but can't remember where I was. I do remember being shocked and puzzled by the news, though, and remember asking my dad why JFK had been shot. The magic bullet eventually became a source of much discussion in our household. I enjoyed the poem for it's accessibility and...
by JJWilliamson
Sat Jan 05, 2019 11:11 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Inclusion
Replies: 20
Views: 347

Re: Inclusion

I think it's a great story well told, Ray. It held me all the way to the end, which didn't disappoint, even though it could've easily slipped into sentimentality. The combination of humour and sadness was well done, and the educational side of things was illuminating, at least it was for me. Got to ...
by JJWilliamson
Sat Jan 05, 2019 10:57 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Coevals
Replies: 13
Views: 237

Re: Coevals

Very good, David I think I get the following on allusion, as the boy struggles to follow in their footsteps but is still following. The pied piper, the hill and the figurative lame boy were all there. There is a melancholic note running through the poem as it progresses, and strangely enough I was r...
by JJWilliamson
Sat Jan 05, 2019 10:26 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Tides
Replies: 17
Views: 254

Re: Tidal

This so good, mac, and right up my street. I'm going to have a slower read because I feel there's more to uncover. The new title is better, methinks. Happy new year btw. Pools closest to the edge are best. Salt water ...Great opening hook. I'm in already. ..... where the hares - sea slugs - graze on...