Search found 2722 matches

by JJWilliamson
Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:59 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Traces of Apartheid Near Sheffield Pike (rev 3)
Replies: 23
Views: 1899

Re: Traces of Apartheid Near Sheffield Pike (rev 3)

Hi, Not Thanks for giving this one the once over. Appreciated, as always. . Hi JJ, forgive my tardiness. Good read, interesting subject. Moss and grey lichen creep over miners’ paths, - think you could do better than 'creep' because ...It's supposed to show how the lichen slowly reclaims the clearin...
by JJWilliamson
Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:58 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Fragments (Was: Wharram Percy) V3
Replies: 24
Views: 398

Re: Fragments (Was: Wharram Percy) V3

OOH! I don't like to see Wharram Percy go, Tristan. The original title absolutely dragged me into the poem. I do like the new arrangement, though, and feel you've upped the poem significantly. I found myself becoming more emotionally involved this time round, and I enjoyed the 1st revision. Best JJ ...
by JJWilliamson
Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:47 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: BLACK FLOWERS OF THE DARK
Replies: 8
Views: 131

Re: BLACK FLOWERS OF THE DARK

Hi Celtic I don't know how many poems you've read on the site, but suffice it to say that many members, if not all members, revise their work based on the critiques they receive. I revise the living daylights out of mine, often for the better, but not always. Try a rewrite, based on the crit's, and ...
by JJWilliamson
Sat Mar 16, 2019 1:22 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Traces of Apartheid Near Sheffield Pike (rev 3)
Replies: 23
Views: 1899

Re: Traces of Apartheid Near Sheffield Pike (rev 3)

Thanks, Luke. I've made a few changes for clarity's sake, for better for worse, in sickness and in health, based on the critiques
received thus far.

Best

JJ
by JJWilliamson
Sat Mar 16, 2019 12:08 pm
Forum: Post Visual Art
Topic: High Tide at Trow Rock
Replies: 2
Views: 73

Re: High Tide at Trow Rock

Spot on, mac. You'd be in thigh deep water in the foreground. The water deepens, substantially, to the left of the main rock, where the seabed drops to form a cauldron between the rocks and sandbanks. The sandbanks shift and so the wave formations vary enormously. When the water is calm, all the loc...
by JJWilliamson
Thu Mar 14, 2019 8:05 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Mourning Coffee
Replies: 7
Views: 137

Re: Mourning Coffee

Clever and engaging title, Lotus. Another mysterious poem that forced me to search for my thinking cap. I love the enigma of that brown paper bag and what it could represent. Actually, I enjoyed it all, especially the juxtaposition of the cemetery and beach. How the two parts link is anybody's guess...
by JJWilliamson
Tue Mar 12, 2019 9:24 pm
Forum: Post Visual Art
Topic: High Tide at Trow Rock
Replies: 2
Views: 73

High Tide at Trow Rock

Oil on canvas 406 x 305 mms. I've used the same photos as those used in the Three Sisters painting further down the page. Consequently, the light and weather conditions are a close match, with the sky and waves reflecting the similarities. This shows the north tip of Trow Rock at high tide, whereas ...
by JJWilliamson
Mon Mar 11, 2019 5:48 pm
Forum: Post Visual Art
Topic: The Sisters, Trow Rock
Replies: 2
Views: 73

Re: The Sisters, Trow Rock

Thanks, mac, for the super critique. Much appreciated, as always.

Sorry about the tardy response but I was in Preston yesterday watching Ronnie O'Sullivan make his 1000th century.
Truly awesome experience!

Best

JJ
by JJWilliamson
Sat Mar 09, 2019 9:42 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: SHA (4) - needs a title
Replies: 18
Views: 271

Re: SHA (4) - needs a title

Hi, Not Worth it for the last line alone, a sentiment I agree with wholeheartedly. Yes, I think it needs a title for direction, at least it does for me, because I'm not quite getting the present title. That said, I found a speech, of sorts, a rousing call to arms, empire, victory and glory by those ...
by JJWilliamson
Fri Mar 08, 2019 12:55 pm
Forum: Post Visual Art
Topic: The Sisters, Trow Rock
Replies: 2
Views: 73

The Sisters, Trow Rock

Oil on canvas board, 406 x 305 mm. This is a painting of a rock formation off the north east coast of England at Trow Rock, South Shields. The rocks used to be called The Three Sisters but one of them split during the winter storms and so a fourth sister was born. I've been meaning to paint them for...
by JJWilliamson
Thu Mar 07, 2019 6:54 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Ink, Sweat and Tears (1)
Replies: 5
Views: 201

Re: Ink, Sweat and Tears (1)

Ah yes, I remember it well.

Nice one, mac, and well done indeed.

JJ
by JJWilliamson
Thu Mar 07, 2019 3:50 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Fragments (Was: Wharram Percy) V3
Replies: 24
Views: 398

Re: The History of Wharram Percy (V2)

Hi, Tristan I see this is version 2 and couldn't help but wonder where V1 was. Help! Firstly, I love the title and the quirkiness of the name. The Percy family, who once had a claim to the land, were from Northumberland, I think, or was that a different set? Ousted by sheep! Who'd 'a thought. I'm no...
by JJWilliamson
Thu Mar 07, 2019 2:32 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Reverie (revision 2)
Replies: 33
Views: 888

Re: Reverie (revision 2)

Hi, Merlin! Nice to meet you and delighted that you liked this little "hommage" to winter. Hi ... This is my first attempt at finding my way around so I hope it's ok ...Yes, absolutely fine. You're doing a good job of getting around the place. A lovely poem of winter times that says it all for child...
by JJWilliamson
Wed Mar 06, 2019 8:00 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Toads, Toads, Toads V4 (formerly Toad Will See You Now )
Replies: 12
Views: 372

Re: Toads, Toads, Toads V4 (formerly Toad Will See You Now )

Well, call me contrary, but I think the pizzazz has been revised out of this poem, Jules. It's the kind of shock factor, the amusing departure into the vernacular that I'm missing. It could be compared to Larkin's "This be the verse". I remember reading that poem to my mother, years ago, when she wa...
by JJWilliamson
Wed Mar 06, 2019 5:18 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Reverie (revision 2)
Replies: 33
Views: 888

Re: Reverie (revision 2)

Thanks for popping back in, Not
NotQuiteSure wrote:
Wed Mar 06, 2019 1:43 pm
.
Hi JJ,

like 'In late', a more confident/decisive start. ...Yip! Agreed. It does add confidence, doesn't it, when set against the more
wishy-washy 'Around'.

Regards, Not.

.
Best

JJ
by JJWilliamson
Wed Mar 06, 2019 11:37 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Reverie (revision 2)
Replies: 33
Views: 888

Re: Reverie (revision 2)

Hi, Not . Hi JJ, appreciate your detailed reply, and the clarity it brings. ...No prob's. Would you be averse to considering a title change? In light of all the above, Kendal Reverie would locate the piece (and stop some (ahem, one) of us rambling far off the beaten track). ..."Rambling"! I like it....
by JJWilliamson
Tue Mar 05, 2019 5:48 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Reverie (revision 2)
Replies: 33
Views: 888

Re: Reverie (revision 2)

Thanks again, Not, for scrutinizing this one and for the great questions. . Hi JJ, like the introduction of 'parish', excellent move. ...Yes, it seems to solve a problem and add to the local thrust. The main, and much visited church in Kendal (Kent Dale, IE the dale of the River Kent) is The Parish ...
by JJWilliamson
Tue Mar 05, 2019 12:13 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Reverie (revision 2)
Replies: 33
Views: 888

Re: Reverie (revision) [reverted to 'vernal']

Hi, Not Thanks for the excellent and pertinent comments. Much appreciated. NotQuiteSure wrote: Mon Mar 04, 2019 5:17 pm you’ll hear the peal of ringing bells Doesn't 'peal' mean 'ring'? ...Yes indeed, but it also refers to a group of bells ringing in order OR a circular group of bells, like those fo...
by JJWilliamson
Tue Mar 05, 2019 8:24 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Shoemaker (revised)
Replies: 16
Views: 274

Re: Shoemaker (revised)

Why have you dropped the Jewish reference, mac? It's an important fact methinks. The revision is clearer
but something has been lost, possibly because of the central section manipulations. Maybe the rep' on 'that' is the culprit.
Maybe not. :)

Best

JJ
by JJWilliamson
Mon Mar 04, 2019 10:30 am
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Congrats David & Ray!
Replies: 8
Views: 113

Re: Congrats David & Ray!

Read all three and loved them all. Great stuff and it's no wonder they were accepted. Well done, lads.

JJ
by JJWilliamson
Mon Mar 04, 2019 10:23 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Reverie (revision 2)
Replies: 33
Views: 888

Re: Reverie (revision) [reverted to 'vernal']

Thank you very much, Not and Tristan, for the further comments. . Hi JJ, I think 'dress' has merit, in the sense of dressing a stage for the 'show' ...Yes, that's a point. My hesitation is typical, given the number of times I've used "dress" before. Still mulling it over. and what must surely be a c...
by JJWilliamson
Mon Mar 04, 2019 9:53 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Shoemaker (revised)
Replies: 16
Views: 274

Re: Shoemaker

That's quite the précis you've presented here, mac. I'm absolutely positive about this guy's identity, but I won't spoil the fun. It was the "Laureate" that gave it away AND grabbed my attention. It's not easy being a second child and more so when your dad's a laureate. Live for your craft, not art ...
by JJWilliamson
Sat Mar 02, 2019 6:16 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: The Poetry Shed
Replies: 12
Views: 249

Re: The Poetry Shed

I so remember this one, Tristan. I think it's great, holding my attention all the way to that glorious close.

Well done, sir!

JJ
by JJWilliamson
Sat Mar 02, 2019 6:10 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Allegro (1)
Replies: 6
Views: 136

Re: Allegro (1)

Remember it well, mac. Superb close. Well done indeed, sir!

Best

JJ
by JJWilliamson
Sat Mar 02, 2019 5:06 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Reverie (revision 2)
Replies: 33
Views: 888

Re: Reverie (revision) + [changed 'vernal']

Thank you very much Not, Michelle and David, for weighing in on the revision. I yield! Consider 'vernal' restored. :) . Hi JJ, I want a second referendum on 'vernal', 'warming' is hardly a sunny upland. ...Fair enough. I shall revert! :) Still think 'clothe' is a bit drab (' swathe ' ?). ...I'm not ...