Search found 2931 matches

by JJWilliamson
Fri Sep 20, 2019 7:53 am
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Califragile
Replies: 7
Views: 563

Re: Califragile

Your list of publications must be of biblical proportions by now, mac. Well done that man!

JJ
by JJWilliamson
Fri Sep 20, 2019 7:47 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Art Lover
Replies: 8
Views: 315

Re: Art Lover

I agree, mac. It's a super poem and right up my street! Love it for its originality and accessibility. I thought the title went well with the bride metaphor. My only suggestions are to MAYBE consider "twist" for 'crime'. You'd still keep three near rhymes/consonant rhymes with "i". You could use "ti...
by JJWilliamson
Fri Sep 20, 2019 7:19 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Autumnal (was Diagnosis)[rev2]
Replies: 10
Views: 508

Re: Mellow Autumn (was Diagnosis)

Thanks again, Perry and Not, for dropping back in to share your thoughts. Appreciated. The second revision will follow this post. It's a nice poem, but the language could flow a little better: The cherry tree is looking pained to be enduring winter's rain, impatient for that springtime day when it c...
by JJWilliamson
Wed Sep 18, 2019 8:05 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Autumnal (was Diagnosis)[rev2]
Replies: 10
Views: 508

Re: Diagnosis

Thank you very much, Luke, Not, mac, Perry and Ray, for the thoughtful replies and suggestions. Much appreciated, as always. The poem focuses on how the cherry tree looks drab and forlorn in winter, only to present a rejuvenation the following Spring, when the tree throws an incredible blossom for a...
by JJWilliamson
Sat Sep 14, 2019 10:54 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: A history teacher’s appraisal by his pupils (Version 3)
Replies: 22
Views: 885

Re: A history teacher’s appraisal by his pupils (Version 3)

Thanks JJ! Really glad you liked it. Didn’t know about the sexual connotations! Gulp. Certainly not intended. Please explain! I just meant to reference the man who would be on lookout in the ship’s crow’s nest (usually made from an disused wine barrique or beer barrel.) Any view in the birds? NOT i...
by JJWilliamson
Sat Sep 14, 2019 10:43 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Autumnal (was Diagnosis)[rev2]
Replies: 10
Views: 508

Autumnal (was Diagnosis)[rev2]

The cherry tree looks drab and plain, enduring late December’s rain, anxious for the April days to animate her bright display. For every year she wears a dress of salmon pink, with sheer finesse, and when the gusts of Spring arrive she casts her flowers to the sky. Unlike the tree we bloom in June t...
by JJWilliamson
Sat Sep 14, 2019 10:16 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: A history teacher’s appraisal by his pupils (Version 3)
Replies: 22
Views: 885

Re: A history teacher’s appraisal by his pupils (Version 3)

Hi, Luke You seem to be having some difficulty with the indent tab so I've used a series of full stops and the colour that matches the background to help with the indentation. Hope you don't mind. If I am in error just say the word and I'll change it back. I don't know why the indent isn't working. ...
by JJWilliamson
Sat Sep 14, 2019 9:40 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Adelphophagy (v6)
Replies: 11
Views: 595

Re: Adelphophagy

I'm struggling to follow this one, Not. Not because of the literal meaning of the title but more because of the progression and who is saying what and why. It seems to refer to the consumption of one person by another to find or search for that elusive, craved for freedom, especially in the close. ....
by JJWilliamson
Sat Sep 14, 2019 9:07 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: That Night The Key Outgrew The Door
Replies: 6
Views: 416

Re: That Night The Key Outgrew The Door

A marvellous poem, Ray, with superb rhymes and meter from start to finish. I got a bit lost with

"as if some power faintly felt
was longing to reveal itself
or filters had begun to fade".

Nevertheless, a great title with a clever close.

Enjoyed.

Best

JJ
by JJWilliamson
Sat Sep 14, 2019 8:37 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Cheapside protocol
Replies: 10
Views: 682

Re: The Cheapside protocol

A most worthy and intriguing poem, David, if a tad inaccessible at times. Still, the Shakespeare references come through very well, adding in no small way to underlying mystery, something that I was drawn to, like a moth to a flame. The overwhelming impression of a specialist asking questions in an ...
by JJWilliamson
Sat Sep 14, 2019 7:41 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: My girl friend is pint-sized (revision)
Replies: 7
Views: 528

Re: My girl friend is pint-sized (revision)

I prefer the revision, mac, though I must admit I was happy enough with V1. I do love a walking poem and this one is no exception. I thought you were playing with perspective with your reference to pint sized, where distance significantly reduces size. I'm taking 'girl friend' literally even though ...
by JJWilliamson
Sat Sep 14, 2019 7:12 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Mid-Atlantic Braes V3 (A Prayer for Difference / The Difference)
Replies: 9
Views: 662

Re: A Prayer for Difference (V3 - formerly The Difference)

I found V1 & 2 more accessible, Jules, but did enjoy the playfulness of V3. Of course, the thread had already clued me in, so V3 didn't really pose any problems but it was a challenge in places. (for me) :) We gather now our feathers few Together now on bended knee Brothers, Sisters gray is always g...
by JJWilliamson
Fri Sep 13, 2019 7:18 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Simmering - an alternative version
Replies: 25
Views: 1074

Re: Simmering

I got the general gist of the poem, Ray, and enjoyed the representation of a union gone stale.

I'm not sure if you need to change anything or not, mainly because it looks good to me. I do
have one minor nit, however. The title could do with a nudge. That said, a great read.

Best

JJ
by JJWilliamson
Fri Aug 30, 2019 2:51 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: What took you so long?
Replies: 4
Views: 252

Re: What took you so long?

I was ok with the first line, Jules, then drifted into a world of virtual reality. Am I close?

JJ
by JJWilliamson
Fri Aug 30, 2019 2:37 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Not So Wise Guy
Replies: 18
Views: 508

Re: Not So Wise Guy

I got the song connection, Not, but couldn't unravel the content. I see the others have no such problem
so take with a pinch.

Best

JJ
by JJWilliamson
Fri Aug 30, 2019 2:35 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: A Bit of Fun(ambulism) (revision 2)
Replies: 18
Views: 597

Re: A Bit of Fun(ambulism) (revision 2)

Thanks again, Ray
ray miller wrote:
Fri Aug 30, 2019 12:10 pm
Maybe "against such acrobats as these" then? ...Yes, that works. Consider it changed.

They communicate with their tails - beats chasin' 'em. ...With each other. :)
JJ
by JJWilliamson
Fri Aug 30, 2019 10:42 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: A Bit of Fun(ambulism) (revision 2)
Replies: 18
Views: 597

Re: A Bit of Fun(ambulism) (revision 2)

Thanks, Ray, for looking in on this one. Appreciated. The much maligned greys are often cited as plague ridden rats with bushy tails, yet there is an alternative point of view. The greys in my garden are forever damaging stuff, like the grass, plants and bird feeders but they still bring a good deal...
by JJWilliamson
Fri Aug 30, 2019 6:46 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Not So Wise Guy
Replies: 18
Views: 508

Re: Not So Wise Guy

Hi, Not I got the first version, or at least I followed the scenario, but the most recent version left me baffled. I couldn't establish a link from one sentence/thought to the next, possibly because of the slang terminology, which I didn't know was slang terminology. :) Couldn't make head nor tail o...
by JJWilliamson
Fri Aug 30, 2019 6:31 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: In the Park (new version)
Replies: 15
Views: 584

Re: In the Park

Hi Perry, I've read this a few times and have hesitated each time, mainly because I wasn't sure about the speaker's position. I'm not saying I didn't understand the poem, to a certain degree, but more that I wondered about the meaning and hidden depths. The poem's premise wasn't immediately apparent...
by JJWilliamson
Fri Aug 30, 2019 5:51 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Interplanetary Love (revision 5)
Replies: 33
Views: 1402

Re: Interplanetary Love (revision 5)

Thanks, mac, Jules and Perry, for giving this one the once over again. Appreciated. I've reverted to the simple approach I think it works JJ. Sort of clean. ...There's something about the development that I find appealing, as if the speaker was sharing his innermost feelings and was struggling to de...
by JJWilliamson
Wed Aug 28, 2019 4:34 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Impressions of a Friend (revision 2)
Replies: 17
Views: 589

Re: Impressions of a Friend (revision 2)

Thanks for coming back, mac. Appreciate the comments. Interesting link JJ. ...I thought you might find some of it interesting. I liked the way the pond, lilies and departing souls came together. That and the literal impression seemed like a pleasing combination. That coupled, with your use of 'freed...
by JJWilliamson
Tue Aug 27, 2019 12:35 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Haiku Train
Replies: 7527
Views: 778997

Re: Haiku Train

After thirteen years
I’m subject to the law;
how the tide flows.
by JJWilliamson
Tue Aug 27, 2019 5:22 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Interplanetary Love (revision 5)
Replies: 33
Views: 1402

Re: Interplanetary Love (revision 5)

I'm beginning to wonder if this would make an interesting haiku prompt.

Anyway, I've reverted to the simple approach but have changed the format. Probably my last revision for some time.

JJ
by JJWilliamson
Mon Aug 26, 2019 8:53 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: A Bit of Fun(ambulism) (revision 2)
Replies: 18
Views: 597

Re: A Bit of Fun(ambulism) (revised)

Thanks again, Jules, for the great response. Squirrel Jules here . . . this afternoon I am liking the juxtaposition of animate/inanimate - the wires and weeds, then the rooted flowers and the liberated mammals. A couple of suggestions : L6 - 'lips' instead of 'leaves' (they're already 'stretching') ...
by JJWilliamson
Mon Aug 26, 2019 8:45 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: You Be the Hammer V3 (was : So, I met the Devil himself/ The Gift)
Replies: 12
Views: 382

Re: The Gift

I'm struggling with this one, Jules, although the philosophy is very interesting. You open with a proposition that states there is no such thing as good or evil, suggesting they are simply aspects of behaviour common to all, yet there's no examination of culture, sentience and choice. It's a philoso...