Search found 87 matches

by Gbn
Fri Jun 05, 2015 6:11 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Politics.
Replies: 7
Views: 684

Re: Politics.

Let's all stand up and put the world right Sit and talk of genocide and all that other shite A united voice that gives us choice to change the things that matter No! What we really need to do is stand up to Sepp Blatter. Thanks for comments, was a bit of a knee jerk reaction, think above reads bette...
by Gbn
Fri Jun 05, 2015 3:09 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Politics.
Replies: 7
Views: 684

Politics.

A quick missive..

Let's all stand up and right the wrongs, put the world to right
Sit and talk of genocide and all that other shite
A united voice that gives us choice to right the wrongs that matter
No! What we really need to do is stand up to Sepp Blatter.
by Gbn
Mon May 18, 2015 12:00 am
Forum: Post Some Prose
Topic: Nameless Chaos
Replies: 2
Views: 2968

Re: Nameless Chaos

I like this premise very much. Every idea or invention is predicated on and by history. As Bill hicks said, it's just a ride. Gbn
by Gbn
Mon Apr 06, 2015 8:43 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Choice
Replies: 7
Views: 427

Re: Choice

Thank you for your comment. Glad you enjoyed the poem. I take the point re may instead of soon. My thoughts are May indicates an element of hope, as the other side of that coin is may not. I think people get so caught up in politics, economics, religion or even just personalities that good and evil ...
by Gbn
Mon Apr 06, 2015 8:40 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Feral child
Replies: 12
Views: 825

Re: Feral child

Thanks so much for your comment, happy my intention came through this time. Glad you enjoyed it, gbn
by Gbn
Fri Apr 03, 2015 11:22 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: The Angelic Angler ( Revised - a bit more)
Replies: 11
Views: 774

Re: The Angelic Angler

Like lots, particularly liked the imagery. I can see the angler's line coming out of the water, spraying glittering drops of water in the sun. Very nice..
by Gbn
Fri Apr 03, 2015 11:18 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Choice
Replies: 7
Views: 427

Re: Choice

Thanks for your comments. I had tried to convey the duality of God and evil, the paradoxically similar dichotomy. I don't think we have choice to be here or not, and the choices we make are all influenced by history for sure. But we do have the choice to act in a good or evil manner, and sometimes f...
by Gbn
Thu Apr 02, 2015 12:34 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Choice
Replies: 7
Views: 427

Choice

Choice

Life and death are in us all
We build some up, watch others fall
Help is given and taken away
Die tomorrow, live today.

The power is in us, everyone
Good and evil soon become
The same thing with a different voice
We all forget, we have a choice
by Gbn
Thu Apr 02, 2015 12:32 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Another Day REVISED
Replies: 16
Views: 835

Re: Another Day

This is nice. Resigned tone, world weary?...enjoyed reading this. Gbn
by Gbn
Wed Apr 01, 2015 11:45 am
Forum: Post Some Prose
Topic: The Angel.
Replies: 1
Views: 2578

The Angel.

I watch their interaction as they drink. Predictably deceptive in their mutual flattery. Like them, I know exactly what is going to happen. But I know. I watch them leave and follow them. Nobody ever notices I'm there until it's to late for them to notice. I transcend situations, observe the unfurli...
by Gbn
Tue Mar 31, 2015 10:55 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Softly broken (Revision No.2)
Replies: 9
Views: 626

Re: Softly broken

Really nice...kinda live for the moment vibe? ...
by Gbn
Tue Mar 31, 2015 12:52 am
Forum: Post Some Prose
Topic: The introduction to my book..language warning
Replies: 9
Views: 4458

Re: The introduction to my book..language warning

Once again, apologies for the swearing which, on refelection is a bit gratuitous, but here is my final chapter, which kind of explains the point I'm trying to illustrate in the other 19 chapters....your comments have been very useful, and much appreciated, positive or negative.... Chaper 20, epiphan...
by Gbn
Mon Mar 30, 2015 6:57 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Free will
Replies: 13
Views: 951

Re: Free will

Thanks all. Gbn
by Gbn
Mon Mar 30, 2015 2:47 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Free will
Replies: 13
Views: 951

Re: Free will

I watch a leaf, rising and falling on the breath of the world No control over its destination, along for the ride, nothing to hide It has no choice, it has no voice, it just is Rising and falling on the breath of the world. another wee jiggle...gonna work on another haha...thanks for your comments c...
by Gbn
Sun Mar 29, 2015 1:35 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Free will
Replies: 13
Views: 951

Re: Free will

Thank you for your comments. I sometimes feel I use to many words to convey my idea hence the shortening. I like the original better but wanted to present an alternate version for criticism. Thanks again, Gbn
by Gbn
Sat Mar 28, 2015 1:17 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Newquay (revision2)
Replies: 16
Views: 1046

Re: Newquay

man that's really nice...loved 'tastes of memory', reminds me how evocative taste can be...
by Gbn
Sat Mar 28, 2015 11:33 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Free will
Replies: 13
Views: 951

Re: Free will

Rejigged...

A leaf rises and falls with the breath of the world
No control over its destination, no idea of its station in life
It has no voice, it makes no choice
Rising and falling with the breath of the world.
by Gbn
Sat Mar 28, 2015 11:18 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Free will
Replies: 13
Views: 951

Re: Free will

Yup, point taken about nowhere to hide....will rethink....I wanted last line to mirror first to further make point about our lack of choices...?..
by Gbn
Fri Mar 27, 2015 4:27 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Free will
Replies: 13
Views: 951

Free will

I watch a leaf, rising and falling with the breath of the world
No control over its destination, nowhere to hide, along for the ride
It has no choice, it has no voice, but it is here
Rising and falling on the breath of the world.
by Gbn
Fri Mar 27, 2015 4:22 pm
Forum: Post Some Prose
Topic: Learning to Swim
Replies: 4
Views: 3807

Re: Learning to Swim

Some very original thoughts and lines, combined with some that seem obvious and spurious....the padding?..extensive front window, masses of glass...shrouded, face not really visible....this kind of repetition of concept can interrupt the flow i think. Hunter thompson wrote that he was heavily influe...
by Gbn
Thu Mar 19, 2015 10:02 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Feral child
Replies: 12
Views: 825

Re: Feral child

Thanks for your comments, gbn
by Gbn
Thu Mar 19, 2015 11:37 am
Forum: Post Some Prose
Topic: The introduction to my book..language warning
Replies: 9
Views: 4458

Re: The introduction to my book..language warning

It's interesting you'r comment because I had thought of interspersing it with another voice, perhaps another of the characters presenting the same situations in their words..a duality that when analysed May present a commonality from where we can derive the truth..
by Gbn
Thu Mar 19, 2015 11:34 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Feral child
Replies: 12
Views: 825

Re: Feral child

Intention was to present the child as becoming feral due to neglect, whilst the parents feed themselves and their drug habit.. the child must fend for itself and whilst it does become feral, it still craves the love of a family...perhaps I overshot this Mark? It was kept short to convey the desperat...
by Gbn
Tue Mar 17, 2015 5:02 pm
Forum: Post Some Prose
Topic: The introduction to my book..language warning
Replies: 9
Views: 4458

Re: The introduction to my book..language warning

I have edited a few swear words out of main text, and yet.. people talk like this in real life. In my life anyhow...a good exclamation Mark but a poor coma I was advised once...but I am trying to convey real life as it is, not as I'd like it to be..the main characters are not nice people...and there...
by Gbn
Tue Mar 17, 2015 4:57 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Feral child
Replies: 12
Views: 825

Re: Feral child

Thanks for comment. Rhyme was intended to drive the piece along but can seem quite contrived. Gbn