Search found 47 matches

by dafra
Sat Sep 13, 2014 12:37 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Haiku Train
Replies: 7615
Views: 975690

Re: Haiku Train

postpones the Autumn,
prorogues the Coronation
until we say 'yes'
by dafra
Sat Sep 13, 2014 8:25 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Haiku Train
Replies: 7615
Views: 975690

Re: Haiku Train

the transfer window,
locked against the loosened leaves,
lets the late sun in
by dafra
Thu Sep 11, 2014 4:14 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Last Grey
Replies: 6
Views: 1111

Re: Every morning since Sunday

I loved the imagery with one qualification which I might mention at the end. Once I got the gist of the poem and dispelled an unfortunate image from my mind, the morning routine of likely futile hope and expectation was great with beautiful imagery Please forgive my foul imagination which was of Leo...
by dafra
Thu Sep 11, 2014 12:48 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Last Few Days Before
Replies: 10
Views: 1537

Re: Last Few Days Before

Lovely autumnal wonders that lead
up to those decussating trails.
Any other year, any other season,
could be an advert for Halifax
I suppose.
Will we be having a countdown?
I hope so Seth
by dafra
Thu Sep 11, 2014 9:12 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Homecoming
Replies: 10
Views: 1038

Re: Homecoming

Certainly the second verse is great and I agree about the magnificence of 'my nose will plough the secret earth of you' which did not feel comical just so full of physical sexual expression to me. The first stanza is I suppose is so much weaker but a decent, lesser introduction to the magnificent fi...
by dafra
Thu Sep 11, 2014 9:00 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Honourably mentioned
Replies: 18
Views: 2194

Re: Honourably mentioned

What a great poem to celebrate this season of shows. Our local leek club show is this Saturday followed by a huge number of others around the county. There are many gladdies. I had a response already prepared but steamboats beat me to it and I wanted to suggest how pleasant to find a humble friend a...
by dafra
Wed Sep 10, 2014 10:33 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Second Hand revised
Replies: 11
Views: 1143

Re: Second Hand revised

Hi Seth, David

Made an attempt to take your points on board and I like it better for your suggestions. Thank you very much.

dafra
by dafra
Wed Sep 10, 2014 5:54 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Second Hand revised
Replies: 11
Views: 1143

Re: Second Hand revised

Thanks for reading Seth. Maybe you're right but.. I'm sure by now that you will see the shallowness of the language of my poems. They don't have many layers of meaning. This one essentially was about that second hand recorder I bought just to listen to those old tapes. I chose the rhythm to reflect ...
by dafra
Tue Sep 09, 2014 10:58 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: My Life in the 19th Century Part One)
Replies: 3
Views: 830

Re: My Life in the 19th Century Part One)

Really interesting story. Hurry along with part two.

Thanks d
by dafra
Sun Sep 07, 2014 5:34 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Ride of a Lifetime
Replies: 7
Views: 969

Re: Ride of a Lifetime

Hi cynwulf I'm sorry vacuumed jarred for you but it was the right word. I was thinking of the cabin pressure being instantly sucked (or Hoovered if you wish) out of the fractured cabin. I actually had the image of a Wilson cloud chamber in mind. It also has the advantage of a slight alliteration wit...
by dafra
Sat Sep 06, 2014 1:30 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Second Hand revised
Replies: 11
Views: 1143

Second Hand (revision 1)

David I've taken on board a little and I've altered some of the lines which I had shoehorned in by avoiding articles just to preserve the tetrameter. I considered putting in a section of pentameter to vary the timing but it started to get even clumsier with lost words. I remember my original reasoni...
by dafra
Sat Sep 06, 2014 8:44 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Haiku Train
Replies: 7615
Views: 975690

Re: Haiku Train

his master’s silence.
shellac shards signing the snow
cuneiforms his pain
by dafra
Fri Sep 05, 2014 9:02 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Second Hand revised
Replies: 11
Views: 1143

Re: Second Hand

Thanks David

I wasn't trying to be poetic, just preserving the tetrameter. Sort of dashed it off and any rhymes were accidental.

Please suggest methods of varying the meter to make it less boring.

dafra
by dafra
Fri Sep 05, 2014 6:15 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Second Hand revised
Replies: 11
Views: 1143

Second Hand revised

REVISION 2 (10/9/14) Two weeks ago, in Memory Lane, A shop for used and second hand, I chanced upon a Pifco reel-to-reel. Five years that Mum had passed away, The box of tapes had lain unused Without the means to play them through. The labels, curled, had quit their posts, Described our Yuletide par...
by dafra
Fri Sep 05, 2014 9:29 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Landing in Brussels
Replies: 10
Views: 1053

Re: Landing in Brussels

Sorry elf, I thought the Icarus metaphor weak. He drowned whilst escaping. I suppose not following the sage advice of your father and drowning in alcohol on a stag weekend and the fall has some resonance. Reminded me of the film 'In Bruges' where there definitely was a flight and fall
by dafra
Tue Sep 02, 2014 5:17 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: A Fall of Moon dust (revision)
Replies: 15
Views: 1508

Re: A Fall of Moon dust (revision)

Yes, would be similar to moonlight which at brightest casts shadows and does show up motes. Maybe "The Moon dust falls through received Earthlight"
by dafra
Tue Sep 02, 2014 6:33 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Ride of a Lifetime
Replies: 7
Views: 969

Re: Ride of a Lifetime

Thanks Seth, I sometimes go overboard with alliteration.
dafra
by dafra
Tue Sep 02, 2014 6:31 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Ride of a Lifetime
Replies: 7
Views: 969

Re: Ride of a Lifetime

Hi mac

My title was ironic. The life time was about 45 seconds (according to Newton and ignoring friction).
Blessedly the young couple would have been almost instantly unconscious as their ride commenced.
Just my take on MH17.

dafra
by dafra
Mon Sep 01, 2014 7:52 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Haiku Train
Replies: 7615
Views: 975690

Re: Haiku Train

Coexist in peace
all religions of the world
demonstrate your love
by dafra
Mon Sep 01, 2014 6:21 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Time Travel
Replies: 6
Views: 727

Re: Time Travel

The idea is a great antidote or challenge to Jihadism but some of the rhymes make me shudder and the meter was so uneven it spoilt the message for me.

But I loved the idea.
by dafra
Mon Sep 01, 2014 3:10 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: beyond glass
Replies: 4
Views: 586

Re: beyond glass

I enjoyed this view through the window from the old house. I did however find it hard to reconcile that abbysal field with the view you describe. I couldn't think of a reason for vertical depth. Our swallows drink on the wing gliding quickly just above open areas of water, trailing their beak. Langu...
by dafra
Sun Aug 31, 2014 2:51 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Ride of a Lifetime
Replies: 7
Views: 969

Ride of a Lifetime

Ride of a Lifetime

At twenty past that fatal hour
The lovers, hand on hand, were mute.
Unconscious in the vacuumed air
At over thirty thousand feet.
So sitting side by side in space
Began their ride to ground's embrace.

dafra
by dafra
Sun Aug 31, 2014 2:46 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions."
Replies: 16
Views: 1413

Re: "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions."

Why split the difference between poetry and prose? I find that I respond to heightened language, language that has a multitude of meanings, no-matter the form. I've given up on my expectations of what poetry should be to me and just accept what is served up here in the name of poetry. Thus when I re...
by dafra
Sun Aug 31, 2014 2:10 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Written in a North Country Churchyard(Revised)
Replies: 11
Views: 1283

Re: Threnody in Shades of Gray

Wheat used to be sown in small fields. Wildlife hedges have been grubbed out to give huge, more economical areas, prairified.
by dafra
Sat Aug 30, 2014 9:52 pm
Forum: Hello, Good Evening and Welcome
Topic: Hi
Replies: 7
Views: 3020

Re: Hi

Hi Sue
That's a big number.

Feel a little strange welcoming you when I'm just a newbie myself.

dafra