Search found 232 matches

by CalebMurdock
Sun Jun 22, 2014 8:28 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Coventry
Replies: 17
Views: 1313

Re: Coventry

Does this poem pertain to a news event? I did a search for "Edward Thomas, Coventry" and it didn't turn up anything to explain the poem.
by CalebMurdock
Sun Jun 22, 2014 8:05 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Rich Earth
Replies: 17
Views: 1449

Re: The Rich Earth

Black people often take an instant disliking to me Not just black people, believe me. Good one, Nash. I'll take open hostility over manipulation any day of the week. Now the only question is: How much longer should I continue to torture the poor people at Poets' Grave before I move on? I'm consider...
by CalebMurdock
Sun Jun 22, 2014 7:38 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Rich Earth
Replies: 17
Views: 1449

Re: The Rich Earth

Caleb, you must be gracious when replying to crits. Even if the poster has entirely missed the point and is completely on the wrong track. A correct response would be 'Thanks for your time and thoughts. Suzanne. I am disappointed that you think....' . You nearly always leap to an aggressive defence...
by CalebMurdock
Sun Jun 22, 2014 8:20 am
Forum: Poetry Discussion
Topic: Poems That You Love
Replies: 103
Views: 27999

Re: Poems That You Love

This is one of my all-time favorite poems. I think that Ransom's name has endured so long mainly because of this poem. Piazza Piece — I am a gentleman in a dust coat trying To make you hear. Your ears are soft and small And listen to an old man not at all. But see the roses on your trellis dying And...
by CalebMurdock
Sun Jun 22, 2014 8:12 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Rich Earth
Replies: 17
Views: 1449

Re: The Rich Earth

Suzanne, the first thing you ever said to me was to criticize me for adding footnotes when I post a poem. Sometimes you scold me, sometimes you are nice, sometimes you are defensive, sometimes you are condescending. Enough. You don't understand the poem. I'm looking forward to hearing from other peo...
by CalebMurdock
Sun Jun 22, 2014 7:45 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Rich Earth
Replies: 17
Views: 1449

Re: The Rich Earth

I read and thoughtfully responded to what you posted. And even if you do not think i understood it correctly, please thank me for my time. Those little gestures of etiquette are what keep the board a positive, friendly place. The fact that I didn't thank you immediately doesn't mean I wouldn't have...
by CalebMurdock
Sun Jun 22, 2014 7:06 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Rich Earth
Replies: 17
Views: 1449

Re: The Rich Earth

You don't understand the poem, Suzanne. Maybe the next person will do better.
by CalebMurdock
Sun Jun 22, 2014 4:16 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Passion
Replies: 6
Views: 938

Re: Passion

Thanks, everyone. This poem came out on a wave of emotion, and it was my way of saying, "Everything is right the way it is." Seeing through other people's eyes, however, I now understand that this poem is truly juvenile. You all know how it is: Young people say things they think are profound, but th...
by CalebMurdock
Sat Jun 21, 2014 8:14 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Rich Earth
Replies: 17
Views: 1449

Re: The Rich Earth

One preliminary question: from peering in my drawers During long lunch hours Are these drawers underwear or do they slide out of a desk? Desk drawers. I was aware that this one word might be misunderstood, although if you consider that the "young lady at the next desk" is hostile, you have to assum...
by CalebMurdock
Sat Jun 21, 2014 10:48 am
Forum: Poetry Discussion
Topic: how to structure a "POEM" ?
Replies: 21
Views: 3025

Re: how to structure a "POEM" ?

Interesting thread, kind of. I do think that good poems have certain characteristics. First, a poet needs to write with the reader in mind. I am constantly asking myself, am I making myself clear? Poetry is a form of communication, and I purposely try not to be obscure. Second, a good poem has to be...
by CalebMurdock
Sat Jun 21, 2014 7:47 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Rich Earth
Replies: 17
Views: 1449

The Rich Earth

[tab] To the young lady at the next desk [/tab] At first your glare made me perplexed. You stared As if the Walking Fungus From Outer Space Had been employed to sit adjacent to Your pristine desk, when all I wanted was A little talk, and maybe to be friends. And when you learned, from peering in my ...
by CalebMurdock
Sat Jun 21, 2014 5:50 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Finding Myself in a Waiting Room
Replies: 29
Views: 2196

Re: Finding Myself in a Waiting Room

Caleb, yes, you are right. I edited and at the last minute rearranged it. I put it back. I am going to let this rest without adding more to it. I have other poems to write! Suzanne, I have one more thought about the stanza with the red exit sign: "The calming blink of an exit sign holds no power to...
by CalebMurdock
Thu Jun 19, 2014 6:51 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Finding Myself in a Waiting Room
Replies: 29
Views: 2196

Re: Finding Myself in a Waiting Room

I don't see any improvement in the poem. Mixing the first two stanzas takes some of the power out of both of them. The first stanza needs to end "I am not her" in order to set the theme of the poem. You don't want to bury that sentence in the middle of a stanza. The stanza about the red light wasn't...
by CalebMurdock
Wed Jun 18, 2014 9:50 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Finding Myself in a Waiting Room
Replies: 29
Views: 2196

Re: Not Finding Myself in a Waiting Room

Not only have you written another excellent poem, you have teased from Caleb his most insightful and interesting critique yet. Oh, how I love back-handed compliments, the more subtle the better. This one cries out for a critique of its own, but I'll abstain. I don't want to hijack Suzanne's thread,...
by CalebMurdock
Wed Jun 18, 2014 8:25 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Finding Myself in a Waiting Room
Replies: 29
Views: 2196

Re: Not Finding Myself in a Waiting Room

Let me make a few points, now that there's been a lot of discussion. First, I like "vagabond people"; you shouldn't scrap that. Indeed, since this poem is a very emotional, intuitive poem, be careful about taking anyone's suggestions about wording, lest the moodiness and spontaneity of it be destroy...
by CalebMurdock
Wed Jun 18, 2014 11:30 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Finding Myself in a Waiting Room
Replies: 29
Views: 2196

Re: Not Finding Myself in a Waiting Room

I couldn't tell you why, but I feel like I really understand this poem. I see a person waiting in a waiting room, feeling somewhat irritable and separated from the world; not really liking anything that is happening. Saying that you swing your leg in the rhythm of your mother, but you're not your mo...
by CalebMurdock
Wed Jun 18, 2014 6:12 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Lot's Wife
Replies: 9
Views: 1010

Re: Lot's Wife

So strong, in image, and movement, and language, with the exception of descending in her righteous glory, to the ruination of the sinning city. The adjectives slow me down, for one thing. Do you really need righteous and sinning? And the whole line, the 10th line, seems weak. I can't imagine what I...
by CalebMurdock
Tue Jun 17, 2014 7:54 pm
Forum: Poetry Discussion
Topic: Poetry - who needs it?
Replies: 2
Views: 1238

Re: Poetry - who needs it?

The author leaves out one ironic fact: During the "free verse" revolution, poetry almost turned into prose. As evidence, here is a poem that was given in a book about poetry as a good example of the art: Economy, August 31st In 1842, Henry David Thoreau sold The boat he made with his own hands To Na...
by CalebMurdock
Tue Jun 17, 2014 7:11 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Lot's Wife
Replies: 9
Views: 1010

Re: Lot's Wife

The problem with replacing the word "colours" is: What does Seth replace it with? "Things" is too ordinary. I don't mind "colours" because it has metaphysical significance. Some people, supposedly, can see colored auras (when my sister was weak from hepatitis, she said later that she could see peopl...
by CalebMurdock
Tue Jun 17, 2014 6:47 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Passion
Replies: 6
Views: 938

Re: Passion

Thanks, Suzanne. Your comments are helpful. This poem seemed to spring out on an emotion, as if it were being born. It's not something I would change since it seemed to express a deep insight regarding the world. I categorize my poems as Finished, Needs Work and Juvenile. I think I'll just put this ...
by CalebMurdock
Tue Jun 17, 2014 3:21 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Colour of the Day (4)- v2
Replies: 17
Views: 1638

Re: Colour of the Day (4)

No one has said anything for a few hours, so I'll weigh in. I think this poem is kind of funny. It's a parody of the poet himself, or of the liberties (with the truth) that poets take. I wasn't sure of the significance of "pose in rows", so I looked at pictures of puffins on the internet, and it was...
by CalebMurdock
Mon Jun 16, 2014 8:14 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Lot's Wife
Replies: 9
Views: 1010

Re: Lot's Wife

What were the colours you saw in the last forbidden glance? Some say that you were merely wilful, disobedient, lacking sense. (well put) Others that you were worried, a mother of daughters still inside. (lovely!) I say that what you hoped to see were the colours of God herself descending in her rig...
by CalebMurdock
Mon Jun 16, 2014 7:37 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: be happy [a little love poem]
Replies: 13
Views: 1361

Re: be happy [a little love poem]

You lying next to me, both looking at our reflection in the eyes of the other. I had not felt so alone before, not so (It sounds like you are saying that you feel alone now , but you don't mean that, do you?) complete. And here was every moment, where I found myself smiling and blinking in someone'...
by CalebMurdock
Mon Jun 16, 2014 2:12 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Passion
Replies: 6
Views: 938

Passion

A baby is born. It is a perfect baby. It grows into a child and then into a man. It is a perfect man. Never was it, save in its own mind, Waiting to become anything more Than the perfect baby, child and man that it was. Now it is an old man. It is a perfect old man. Long years have brought love and ...
by CalebMurdock
Mon Jun 16, 2014 1:51 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Precarious
Replies: 16
Views: 1426

Re: Precarious

I'll be honest with you, Mike: I don't fully understand the poem. The language sounds good, and has a pleasing profundity to it (with what appears to be a good ending), but I'm just not getting it. Clearly, it's a psychological piece. Maybe it's meant to be accepted on an emotional level. I tend to ...