Search found 1599 matches

by 1lankest
Fri Jun 19, 2020 8:04 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Pentre Village (revision)
Replies: 8
Views: 312

Re: Pentre Village

Right up my street, Mac, though I suspect my street might be a little drier than those poor souls in the Rhondda. Have you flooded, too? Hope not. My first thought is that S1 might be superfluous to requirements. Is it preamble or does it add something? Context perhaps, yes. The flood is the final s...
by 1lankest
Thu Jun 18, 2020 12:46 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Promise
Replies: 6
Views: 562

Re: Promise

Hmmm thanks guys. Pretty vacuous this one. A reminder never to drink and post.
And Mac, I too am in Wales, in the rain!

Luke
by 1lankest
Thu Jun 18, 2020 12:43 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Bouquet Garni (Was April)
Replies: 10
Views: 628

Bouquet Garni (Was April)

Perry, Francis, Lotus. Sorry for the extremely late reply.
Sorry this doesn’t make sense to you Perry.
Francis, thanks for your extremely helpful critique. I have used a number of your suggestions in my revision.
I hope the revision helps clarify some things for you Perry.

Best,
Luke
by 1lankest
Sun Jun 07, 2020 8:55 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Promise
Replies: 6
Views: 562

Promise

We sow wildflower seeds
there will be meadow
providing rain
by 1lankest
Fri May 01, 2020 9:22 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Bouquet Garni (Was April)
Replies: 10
Views: 628

Re: April

Thanks Mac, Jj, NOT, It’s good to be posting again. There’s merit in all your suggestions - like the idea of making it a series, NOT. The twenty pound note was designed to symbolise desperation, but perhaps it’s tasteless. Don’t get me wrong, I could do with a wad of them right now! Like the idea of...
by 1lankest
Wed Apr 29, 2020 8:34 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Bouquet Garni (Was April)
Replies: 10
Views: 628

Bouquet Garni (Was April)

Version 2 This month: rosemary and bay wrapped in a ten pound note, positioned on a bed of holly in the centre of the barbecue drum. It takes easily for lack of rain; flames dance, linger in the mirror of our daughter's eyes - It is late evening, her first winter baptism of floodwater, contagion, dr...
by 1lankest
Wed Apr 29, 2020 8:23 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Vital Signs (v2)
Replies: 9
Views: 485

Re: Vital Signs (v

Greetings NOT. I’m surprised I knew my password! I liked this very much, only I thought it got a little preachy and convoluted near the end. This especially: I'll know that the lockdown's over when the Public Inquiry absolves The Government: concluding it would not have been possible for them to for...
by 1lankest
Thu Nov 07, 2019 6:50 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Postpartum (Version 2)
Replies: 9
Views: 1242

Re: Postpartum (Version 2)

Thanks Ray!
Yes, so I’ve heard - I wonder if I’ll cope better with the complicated problems than with these here so -called simple ones!

I agree about th3 format. Revision attempted.

L
by 1lankest
Sun Nov 03, 2019 9:15 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Unwrapping
Replies: 11
Views: 1444

Re: Unwrapping

Much enjoyed. Do the yellow vests signify the protest embedded in the marital sexlessness?
Agree with NOT about the ending. Not only does it lack the comic/sonic appeal of the rest but I’m not sure what it means. What’s the significance of the undergarments staying on?

Luke
by 1lankest
Sat Nov 02, 2019 8:39 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Postpartum (Version 2)
Replies: 9
Views: 1242

Re: Postpartum

Thanks Jj, Tristan, lotus and Ray. Really helpful - I’ve made some changes based on your collective feedback. I’m keeping the start since JJ has shown it conveys the exact meaning I intended - thanks JJ! Best, Luke P.s thanks Tristan - from a very proud and exhausted dad of baby Florence! (Glad thin...
by 1lankest
Sat Oct 26, 2019 5:14 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Postpartum (Version 2)
Replies: 9
Views: 1242

Postpartum (Version 2)

V3 This I take it is the long-awaited covenant drafted in milk on muslin parchment, sealed in the small hours so infinitesimal even your mother's eyelids can be heard tapping out their hurried call that fills the holding cell, our room; that, and the rise and fall of my chest, your tiny head, each s...
by 1lankest
Sat Oct 26, 2019 5:07 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Ghosts at Herculaneum
Replies: 5
Views: 680

Re: Ghosts at Herculaneum

I like it but I would try it without punctuation - let the in breaks do the pausing and maximise the abstract quality of the piece.

Luke
by 1lankest
Sat Oct 26, 2019 5:05 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: A Couple of Shorts
Replies: 6
Views: 770

Re: A Couple of Shorts

There’s a clear connection between the two but I think you need to improve the first and perhaps add some further links to the chain. Perhaps make it a foursome otherwise I think it’s too lightweight to hold much attention. I’d be tempted to use the first as a framing theme and build a series from t...
by 1lankest
Sat Oct 26, 2019 4:59 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Girardus Cambrensis
Replies: 10
Views: 1622

Re: Girardus Cambrensis

Been absent a while and this was worth the wait and an apt one on which to break my long silence! I know Gerald and this captures the man and the myth perfectly. strangely inadequate central heating system, Would this have been a misunderstood hypercaust system?! I didn’t understood the choice to us...
by 1lankest
Sat Sep 14, 2019 10:59 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: A history teacher’s appraisal by his pupils (Version 3)
Replies: 22
Views: 2201

Re: A history teacher’s appraisal by his pupils (Version 3)

“There's an old joke about a group of sexually frustrated sailors finding satisfaction in the knothole of a barrel. The barrelman took his turn in the barrel. Don't blame me, it's not my joke. :)

That’s a game-changer! Damn it.

Good to know re the birds.

Luke
by 1lankest
Sat Sep 14, 2019 10:50 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Ticking Hands
Replies: 3
Views: 782

Ticking Hands

Pale, effeminate. No doubt they’d have got me arrested in Cambodia in the 70’s. Ditto Czechoslovakia, Estonia. Good-for-nothing palm-fulls of paucity. Danger in every digit. Yesterday, for instance, they overcooked the strimmer and melted like the carburettor. Hopeless with a spanner. Once, however,...
by 1lankest
Sat Sep 14, 2019 10:47 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Autumnal (was Diagnosis)[rev 2 + edit]
Replies: 11
Views: 1504

Re: Diagnosis

Very touching. Really nicely done, JJ.
I would be tempted to ditch S1 and begin

Every year she wears a dress...

You could change the title to Cherry, like the JJ Cale song of a similar theme.

Luke
by 1lankest
Sat Sep 14, 2019 10:43 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: That Night The Key Outgrew The Door
Replies: 9
Views: 1240

Re: That Night The Key Outgrew The Door

Marvellous.

each object struggled to contain
the suchness that it held within

Loved this! Very Aldous Huxley.

I couldn’t help reading Edgehill for Egghill.


I’ll have to return to this for deeper understanding but for now I’ll just savour the glide and spin.

Bravo.

Luke
by 1lankest
Sat Sep 14, 2019 10:40 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: A history teacher’s appraisal by his pupils (Version 3)
Replies: 22
Views: 2201

Re: A history teacher’s appraisal by his pupils (Version 3)

Thanks JJ! Really glad you liked it. Didn’t know about the sexual connotations! Gulp. Certainly not intended. Please explain! I just meant to reference the man who would be on lookout in the ship’s crow’s nest (usually made from an disused wine barrique or beer barrel.) Any view in the birds? NOT is...
by 1lankest
Thu Sep 12, 2019 3:23 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Simmering - an alternative version
Replies: 25
Views: 2804

Re: Simmering

I still don't know why your (or Narrator's) partner/girlfriend has become disappointed in the poem.
Yes, there’s certainly ambiguity here, perhaps a little too much.

Luke
by 1lankest
Wed Sep 11, 2019 6:23 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: 2,3,4… (V2)
Replies: 5
Views: 696

Re: 2,3,4…

Enjoyed this, Jules.
Could you italicise ‘having eat, the terse feck’ to further show that it’s dialect?
Like of the idea of the relationship’s ordered, rhythmic structure belying its true imperfect order.

Luke
by 1lankest
Sun Sep 08, 2019 12:11 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: It started with a Selfie
Replies: 14
Views: 1387

Re: It started with a Selfie

Enjoyed this, Alexander. Good imagist stuff. Preferred the revision but I would drop the unnecessary prelim at the start, leaving this: your head is on another shoulder your hands kneading putty making a doll full of pins and self-destruction later you snapped limbs at the knee and elbow arranging f...
by 1lankest
Fri Sep 06, 2019 4:49 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Nine Muses Poetry
Replies: 7
Views: 1476

Re: Nine Muses Poetry

Top marks, Mac

Luke
by 1lankest
Fri Sep 06, 2019 4:36 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: A history teacher’s appraisal by his pupils (Version 3)
Replies: 22
Views: 2201

Re: A history teacher’s appraisal by his pupils (Version 3)

Thanks Alexander! Good shout on the semi colon. Can i ask you which your preferred version is?
Luke
by 1lankest
Thu Sep 05, 2019 12:30 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Simmering - an alternative version
Replies: 25
Views: 2804

Re: Simmering

Love it!
And yes, now you mention it, NOT, Ray is the master of the closing line.

My only question is what it the cause of her disappointment. Herself or himself, or both?
Luke