The Poets' Graves Workshop

It started with hundreds then thousands, and though some protested, most did not: it seemed distant - nothing more than hearsay. They didn’t like them much anyway. When it was too late, pictures and numbers were pushed in front of their faces and they began to understand. Don’t let this process of d...

Welcome Leaf.

Yes, moving home is hard and normally involves more work than we anticipated.

I look forward to reading some of your work.

Cheers,

Tristan

I like it. I think the second and third stanzas, especially the second, could have more colour/specific details. But the poem moves along well and I like the rhymes - they don’t feel forced to me. I don’t like ‘date expired kippers’. How about ‘out of date kippers’ I know it doesn’t help the metre o...

Was this when Blair supported the U.S. in Iraq? Yes it was. Of course you are right Ray, Blair tried to give many reasons for going to war, but the point I suppose I’m making is that after having them all pretty much rejected he must found it harder and harder to say what for, with people calling h...

I have a poem featured in Poetry 24 today. It’s about Corbyn and antisemitism. http://www.poetry24.co.uk/2019/05/no-caveats.html?m=1

Cheers,

Tristan

(My attempted at a little humour on this bleak Friday morning.)

Blair found it easy
to go to war
but much harder
to say what for.

Hi Ray,

Good to see you back.

This is the poem you’ve just had published in Snakeskin. It’s a really good one. Should I put it in Finishing touch?

Cheers,

Tristan

Many congrats Ray on your Brexit poem being published in Snakeskin. Enjoyed!

http://www.snakeskinpoetry.co.uk

Cheers,

Tristan

Oh well, my interp was miles out. I’d thought it was a poem about loss and loneliness. N’s search for duende I thought was the search for the ghost of their lost one. You should sub it to Algebra of Owls, as they specifically ask for poems with duende in their submission criteria. And your poem cert...

I like it David, a lot. Some lovely turns of phrase, such as ‘The beauty of unserviceable words’. I’ve read most of Lorca, though some time ago now, and you are alluding to the poem ‘Alone’ in lines 5/6, and it’s a beautiful allusion, as the image of the lamb and wolf that follows in Lorca’s poem al...

Perry, thanks for the encouragement. Much appreciated, and I’ve taken on board your suggestion.

Honour, I’m pleased your liked the poem.

Many thanks both for commenting.

I’ve posted v2.

Cheers,

Tristan

Hi Mac, I think ‘willows’ at the end of L8 is an improvement, but not totally convinced by the repetition of ‘willow’ in the next line. ‘Willow warbler’ sounds nice, but I think ‘warbler’ would do, as it’s implied the bird is a ‘willow warbler’ from the line before I think. Maybe I’m knit picking. I...

However, I agree with you that it might be a stretch that the girl danced for 40+ years because of the one incident described in the poem, but even that is entirely possible. Children often have experiences in their formative years which are life-changing, and which set them in a new direction. And...

It’s a good Not, and powerful as Mac said. I think it’s pretty much there, too. I just have a couple of tiny knits below. . Shame My uncle tells this story 'bout a girl, when he was stationed in the Far East: said she was young and beautiful, and clean. Until the day she wasn't, when his pal starts ...

Many congrats Seth! I like all three poems, but especially ‘Ineffable‘. I like how your poems often embrace a bits of philosophy (Wittgenstein’s in ‘Ineffable’ I believe) with a local concrete context. Good stuff!

Cheers,

Tristan

I think it’s great Mac. I especially like the final line. Will be back with a crit tonight if I can find anything which I think will help improve the poem further. Cheers, Tristan The sign promises a lakeside view. It is a pond. A watery glint from mines. The cafe offers filter or instant coffee, bu...

Hi Jules, I understand what you are saying here about desire being sharpened by age, and how youthful desire is blunted by weight. But does ‘weight’ here refer to sex drive/pressure to perform? If it’s drive the distinction between desire and drive is a subtle one. If it’s pressure it implies you ar...

Many thanks all for commenting. I’d love to say you were right Jules with your interpretation, but I’m afraid it was just a bit of a tortured comparison and had nothing to do with slavery. Perry, really pleased you like the language and you may be right about the comparison being a bit too much like...

Hi Not,

You could finish the poem with ‘And I held my breath’, and it would be a good poem, but I think it would be better still with a little more.

Cheers,

Tristan

But! … your narrative seems to attribute rsther simplistic blame to the parents . . . I think this 'indifference' needs to be grounded in some more telling details. It also seems to frame the induction of women into prostitution/complicity with misogeny as a sort of quaint fairytale which I don't t...

Very happy to have just had a poem accepted for publication in Ink, Sweat & Tears on May 8th.

Cheers,

Tristan

Hi Jules, I really don’t agree with the main thrust of your poem (I.e. a different type of capitalism can save us and the world). Yes, capitalism helped free us from the bonds of surfdom and even some would argue allowed free speech to flourish, via privately owned papers being funded by adverts, an...

Hi Not, I didn’t relate this poem to the rocky horror show, but did get the rest of your references, even the fishnet stockings which I thought was clear and clever considering the context. I would like this poem much more if you dropped the Rocky horror connection, (which I think the poem is far to...

I like your poem too, and as Mac said the repetition adds to the mechanical feel. I’m not sure about the word ‘fugue’ in the first line though. I’m not even sure you need the first line. However, ‘fugue’ would make a great title. I read the poem as N talking to him/herself - expressing a disconnecti...

V2 I pride myself that I can trace in these rickety legs and back a lively tight-knit symmetry of acanthus leaves and curlicues; and in the back-splat’s tracery flames of Cuban mahogany; bold and vital carving in the woodwormed cabrioles; a noble, upright frame through the years of dirt and grease. ...