Search found 1903 matches

by Firebird
Sat Aug 01, 2020 5:36 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Tristan in Snakeskin
Replies: 2
Views: 37

Re: Tristan in Snakeskin

Many thanks Not and Phil. Hope your gap isn’t causing you too much discomfort Mac. I had a tooth out a couple of years back and after a week most of the discomfort had gone.

Cheers,

Tristan
by Firebird
Wed Jul 22, 2020 8:24 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Questions
Replies: 9
Views: 231

Re: Questions

Hi Jackie, My first impression on reading your revision, is that without ‘do you’ at the beginning of the second and penultimate lines (especially the penultimate line) it might be difficult to recognise these lines as questions. I like the repetition of ‘now’ to start lines in S1. I miss ‘paper buy...
by Firebird
Wed Jul 22, 2020 8:15 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Childish iv - Porkies
Replies: 4
Views: 116

Re: Childish iv - Porkies

. And I think the final stanza should be Wee Wee Wee - I think it works better that way: pretending to cry, when gobbling up the NHS. Would Wee Hee Hee work? It’s better, but I still prefer Wee Wee Wee. It would nice if each stanza were in some way a type of lie. I thought they were (in some way) :...
by Firebird
Wed Jul 22, 2020 8:06 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Childish
Replies: 10
Views: 325

Re: Childish

Hi Not,

I‘m not sure I agree about that last line. I quite like it, and it also keeps the poem to three syllables a line.

Cheers,

Tristan
by Firebird
Wed Jul 22, 2020 1:08 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Childish iv - Porkies
Replies: 4
Views: 116

Re: Childish iv

You should call it ‘Porkies’ :D. I’m not sure what the first stanza refers to, though I understand what it’s getting at. And I think the final stanza should be Wee Wee Wee - I think it works better that way: pretending to cry, when gobbling up the NHS. It would nice if each stanza were in some way a...
by Firebird
Wed Jul 22, 2020 12:23 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Questions
Replies: 9
Views: 231

Re: Questions

Hi Jackie, I think the ending is fine meaning-wise. However, I agree with Not about the repetition of ‘ask’ in the final three lines. I also don’t think ‘gap shelves’ works. As there is no punctuation in the poem, I don’t think it needs question marks. I like the symmetry between the second and penu...
by Firebird
Tue Jul 21, 2020 8:06 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Childish
Replies: 10
Views: 325

Re: Childish

Hi Not, I like the implication/irony that Spaffer (Johnson) is morally blind. Maybe shorten it to something like Checking your eyesight during lockdown Can you see the problem? Spaffer: ‘No’. . Eye Test Driving on a public highway, during lockdown, to check your vision. Can you see the problem? Spaf...
by Firebird
Mon Jul 20, 2020 10:32 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: David, Seth & Myself all in Snakeskin
Replies: 5
Views: 152

Re: David, Seth & Myself all in Snakeskin

Hi Seth,

If you are like Santa, wouldn’t that imply you should leave a few gifts (poems) when you visit?

Cheers,

Tristan
by Firebird
Mon Jul 20, 2020 8:23 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Childish
Replies: 10
Views: 325

Re: Childish

Hi Not, I enjoyed them all, although 2 and 3 were my favourites, but only because I had to research 1 a little. I think they work well together. Some remarks below. . Childish i. Water Cannon, Garden Bridge never used, never built. Where did all the money go? Don't ask Spaffer. (Yes, spunked up the ...
by Firebird
Wed Jul 15, 2020 8:12 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Track and Trace
Replies: 2
Views: 134

Re: Track and Trace

Hi Not, I fully agree with the sentiment of this poem, but don’t think it’s quite there yet. Maybe something like this or parts of this might help. A mutant strain of Old School Tie-itis is replicating across Whitehall. It’s understood this Crony-virus transmits through breath and blood, infecting T...
by Firebird
Wed Jul 15, 2020 7:38 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Fourteen Months of Photos
Replies: 6
Views: 225

Re: Fourteen Months of Photos

Hi Trev, I like the first three stanzas, but really not sure about the rest. I agree with Mac: I think the poem should end on ‘the day you were born’. The final line doesn’t work for me. Some specific comments below. To think of how your inky eyes ( like ‘inky eyes’) unclouded to allow confessions o...
by Firebird
Wed Jul 15, 2020 2:41 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: The Slap (revised)
Replies: 8
Views: 196

Re: The Slap (revised)

Hi Mac, I like it. For me, most of it works nicely. I especially like ‘sulky slide’, ‘clobbering guilt‘ and ‘bake your kindness cage’. I think that last phrase describes that feeling very well. I think many of us were smacked/slapped, who were children in the 70s. It was a different time, and social...
by Firebird
Mon Jul 13, 2020 10:09 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Our Midnight Mahatma
Replies: 4
Views: 198

Re: Our Midnight Mahatma

Hi Lotus,

I too really like the second stanza too. I have to say that the ‘mere’ stood out for me too, but not in a negative way. I like the constraint. The more I think about that first stanza and the ‘comparison‘ the better it gets.

It’s a compelling poem.

Cheers,

Tristan
by Firebird
Mon Jul 13, 2020 9:41 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Identity Politics
Replies: 7
Views: 250

Re: Identity Politics

Hi Trev, Much appreciate your comments and pleased you like parts of the poem and the way it concludes. I can see the merits of getting rid of the ‘I’ in the first line, which I may well do, and getting rid of stanza three. I’m not sure I will get rid of s3 though as it gives a different direction t...
by Firebird
Sun Jul 12, 2020 11:10 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Identity Politics
Replies: 7
Views: 250

Re: Identity Politics

Hi Lotus, Really pleased you like it. I like your suggestion for the ending Very much and may well use it. Many thanks! Cheers, Tristan Hi Not, I think you may be right about the ending not quite being there yet. Your two penn'orth is a very different poem to mine, though there are parts I like :D ....
by Firebird
Sat Jul 11, 2020 4:35 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Identity Politics
Replies: 7
Views: 250

Identity Politics

I like the idea  that we’re all free on the periphery. But there are still competing gravities: I have sex  with the same sex;  have black skin;  have two X chromosomes. Some find it easier to fit in because they don’t. Unlike those whose names stutter inside their heads, and feel a dizziness  when ...
by Firebird
Thu Jul 09, 2020 9:19 am
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Poetry In Public (1)
Replies: 4
Views: 175

Re: Poetry In Public (1)

Many congrats Mac. I like this poem.

This is a new journal for me; it looks an interesting one.

Cheers,

Tristan
by Firebird
Thu Jul 09, 2020 9:16 am
Forum: Poetry Discussion
Topic: Larkin
Replies: 1
Views: 202

Re: Larkin

Hi Mac,

It’s a lovely quote. I’m going to read the article now.

Thanks for posting.

Cheers,

Tristan
by Firebird
Thu Jul 09, 2020 9:08 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Audition (revision)
Replies: 6
Views: 248

Re: The Audition

Hi Mac, Obviously, the tasteless implication of gaudy is a subjective judgement/matter, which in this context some may find a little snobbish - I do not though. I like the sonic thread it has with bawdy. Not sure about ‘thing’ in the first line, but it does fit the tone and gives you that ‘thing’/‘i...
by Firebird
Fri Jul 03, 2020 6:14 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Man About Town v2
Replies: 12
Views: 358

Re: Man About Town

I enjoyed your tribute to Boris and especially that first stanza. Not sure I get the ending. (Just got it. Think I was reaching for something more difficult. Still, it’s a nice ending.) Some specific comments below. . Man About Town As if a soufflé collapsed then put on a suit but couldn't quite get...
by Firebird
Fri Jul 03, 2020 6:00 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Poetry Kit, again
Replies: 3
Views: 109

Re: Poetry Kit, again

Many congrats Not. Enjoyed the poem and the title.

Cheers,

Tristan
by Firebird
Fri Jul 03, 2020 5:59 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Bauddha60 in Snakeskin
Replies: 1
Views: 77

Re: Bauddha60 in Snakeskin

Many congratulations Louis on your publication in Snakeskin. I enjoyed both poems, but unfortunately somehow missed them on our board. Good to have you posting on PG.

Cheers,

Tristan
by Firebird
Wed Jul 01, 2020 6:51 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: David, Seth & Myself all in Snakeskin
Replies: 5
Views: 152

Re: David, Seth & Myself all in Snakeskin

Thanks Mac. I fear we may have lost Seth, but David is still around Moderating when needs be. I agree, Annie’s poems are excellent. I think Happenstance is pushing her forward into the limelight and rightly so. I bought her first pamphlet ‘Infinite In All Perfections’ and really liked it, but think ...
by Firebird
Wed Jul 01, 2020 12:17 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: David, Seth & Myself all in Snakeskin
Replies: 5
Views: 152

David, Seth & Myself all in Snakeskin

Many congrats to Seth and David for their poems being published in this month’s edition of Snakeskin. I love all their poems, but especially David’s version of death and Seth ‘the undersigned’. It’s a Bonanza of brilliant shorts. Give it a read.

Cheers,

Tristan
by Firebird
Mon Jun 29, 2020 3:13 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Poetrykit
Replies: 6
Views: 314

Re: Poetrykit

Many congrats Mac on your latest contribution to the project. I like it and remember it being workshopped here not so long ago.

Cheers,

Tristan