Search found 1693 matches

by Firebird
Mon Oct 21, 2019 1:30 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Untitled
Replies: 3
Views: 53

Re: Untitled

Hi Perry, Good to see you posting a poem - it’s been a little while. However, I don’t think this is up to your usual high standards. I wish I could be more positive, but for me this poem is too abstract when it talks about ‘love’, time’, ‘fate’, ‘habit’ and ‘familiarity’. I know that we don’t always...
by Firebird
Mon Oct 21, 2019 8:42 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: A Couple of Shorts
Replies: 1
Views: 33

A Couple of Shorts

Honesty The world is now flat, but this is not ignorance: we left our cat without food and plants without water while we took a trip to what was once the horizon. The Innocents Lost amongst the thorns: people who tell you they know as if someone else had told them, and their breath held as if lost ...
by Firebird
Fri Oct 18, 2019 7:16 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: To Be Hunted by Her (V2)
Replies: 9
Views: 115

Re: To Be Hunted by Her

Hi Jules, I like it too. My only nit is I thought ‘nice’ sounded a little weak to finish on compared with the rest of the poem. Cheers, Tristan Most Dinosaur of all the Jay - when she roars Such muscled manipulation of Space - So many angles from which she takes the Tree - So coarse the Risen Crest ...
by Firebird
Mon Oct 14, 2019 10:17 am
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Saffron Flavored Rock Candy Vol ll
Replies: 4
Views: 113

Re: Saffron Flavored Rock Candy Vol ll

Many congrats Lotus.

Cheers,

Tristan
by Firebird
Sat Oct 12, 2019 7:50 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Livestock
Replies: 11
Views: 252

Re: Livestock

'keep a lid on' is way better than 'moderate' - the meaning was clear (i.e. 'limit') plus the bonus image of a giant stockpot. Hi Jules, the meaning may well have been clear for you, but the problem is that that image can be read in two ways, one of which is not the desired meaning. I agree that ‘m...
by Firebird
Sat Oct 12, 2019 5:39 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Acumen
Replies: 8
Views: 210

Re: Acumen

It's all subjectivity, ain't it? It is mostly subjective, I think, but there is also craft. I suspect many poems are weeded out from the slush piles of such mags as Magma and Acumen because they just aren’t written very well, or as Ros says, don’t pay enough attention to sound. After that, I do thi...
by Firebird
Sat Oct 12, 2019 10:02 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: A Day Without Shadows
Replies: 21
Views: 390

Re: A Day Without Shadows

Hi Not, I think I agree with Mac. The poem seems at it strongest here: There is no sound. .......................Perhaps there is no sound because she says nothing as the boy takes a cut of clothesline from the heart's pocket of his Catholic blue blazer. Nothing, as he raises his hand. Nothing, as t...
by Firebird
Fri Oct 11, 2019 12:40 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Livestock
Replies: 11
Views: 252

Re: Livestock

Yes, I think a comma would help after ‘free’.

Cheers,

Tristan
by Firebird
Fri Oct 11, 2019 12:35 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Rapture (was In the Air & was Springing) (rev 3)
Replies: 20
Views: 360

Re: In the Air ( was Springing) (revision)

Hi JJ, It’s growing on me. Some specific comments below. This morning’s April showers seem much sweeter, now that winter’s storms have flown. A blow of warmth, at last, and borders look much neater, (I think this line implies that the wind makes it look much neater, which doesn’t really make sense, ...
by Firebird
Thu Oct 10, 2019 9:07 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Flamboyant
Replies: 8
Views: 268

Re: Flamboyant

Hi Jackie, I too used google to identify the tree, but it didn’t help me much. I’ve read the poem quite a few times and it sounds like it should be saying something, but I can’t work out what. David and Jules like it though, so it’s probably just me, and hopefully something will click later, or mayb...
by Firebird
Thu Oct 10, 2019 8:49 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Livestock
Replies: 11
Views: 252

Re: Livestock

Hi Ray, It’s a fun piece and I enjoyed the irony of the ending. Of course, the arguments put forward are absurd. But that’s what we are up against. Meat eaters try to legitimise their habit in all sorts of irrational ways. Some specific points below. If we must change our dining habits to keep a lid...
by Firebird
Thu Oct 10, 2019 8:01 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: A Day Without Shadows
Replies: 21
Views: 390

Re: A Day Without Shadows

Hi Not, I’m back. Some specific points below. . v2. Whipping Boy She was standing in the window when I turned my head. Our neighbour, just watching, doing nothing but meeting my eyes. Looking like my grandmother, and at a boy old enough to be her grandson (I don’t think this line or the previous one...
by Firebird
Thu Oct 10, 2019 7:34 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Runcible Spoon
Replies: 7
Views: 214

Re: Runcible Spoon

Well done Ray and many congrats.

Cheers,

Tristan
by Firebird
Thu Oct 10, 2019 7:33 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Acumen
Replies: 8
Views: 210

Re: Acumen

It’s a beaut David.

I’ve been rejected that many times by Acumen I don’t bother submitting anymore. So well done.
I believe they receive something like 20 thousand poems per year which makes your feat even more impressive.

Many congratulations and well deserved.

Cheers,

Tristan
by Firebird
Thu Oct 10, 2019 2:10 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: A Day Without Shadows
Replies: 21
Views: 390

Re: A Day Without Shadows

Hi Not,

Just to let you know, yes, it’s a lot clearer now. I’ll come back to this tonight when I have more time.

Cheers,

Tristan
by Firebird
Thu Oct 10, 2019 1:41 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Truth
Replies: 7
Views: 299

Re: The Truth

Hi Perry,

Good to see you around again, and hope you’re feeling better. Many thanks for the feedback. I agree with your interps. I think this poem needs another direction of a type. I’m working on a new ending, which I hope will give it this.

Cheers,

Tristan
by Firebird
Thu Oct 10, 2019 1:17 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Obsessed With Pipework x2
Replies: 9
Views: 254

Re: Obsessed With Pipework x2

Hi David,

Yes, that’s the one.

Cheers,

Tristan
by Firebird
Wed Oct 09, 2019 1:45 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: A Day Without Shadows
Replies: 21
Views: 390

Re: A Day Without Shadows

However, I failed to make many other connections that you intended.

Cheers,

Tristan
by Firebird
Wed Oct 09, 2019 1:42 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: A Day Without Shadows
Replies: 21
Views: 390

Re: A Day Without Shadows

I don’t think it helps. It definitely drew me towards my boarding school interp.

Cheers,

Tristan
by Firebird
Wed Oct 09, 2019 1:34 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: A Day Without Shadows
Replies: 21
Views: 390

Re: A Day Without Shadows

The scenario is:
(a memory of) a boy being whipped about the face by an older boy
(plus accomplice) while an elderly female neighbour looks on.
I don’t think I could have got to that. 8)

Cheers,

Tristan
by Firebird
Wed Oct 09, 2019 7:28 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: A Day Without Shadows
Replies: 21
Views: 390

Re: A Day Without Shadows

Hi Not, I think this poem is about a little boy (N) being sent off to a catholic boarding school by his ageing mother, probably when he was 7. Is this right? The following comments are based on this interpretation of your poem. I’m not completely convinced the piece of rope works as a metaphor for t...
by Firebird
Tue Oct 08, 2019 7:22 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Culture Matters
Replies: 4
Views: 148

Re: Culture Matters

Many congrats Ray. I really enjoyed it.

Cheers,

Tristan
by Firebird
Tue Oct 08, 2019 7:04 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Rapture (was In the Air & was Springing) (rev 3)
Replies: 20
Views: 360

Re: Springing

Hi JJ, Is this a sonnet? If it is I’m failing to trace the turn (it’s probably just me though). If it isn’t I think it’s better without the final two lines. Some specific comments below. This morning’s April showers seem much sweeter, now that winter’s storms have flown. A blow of warmth, at last, a...
by Firebird
Tue Oct 08, 2019 5:32 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Farmhouse(revision)
Replies: 13
Views: 409

Re: Farmhouse(revision)

Hi Mac, You’ve simplified and uncluttered s1 and I now much prefer the revision but as others have said I do miss ‘cwtch’. For me the poem compares quite beautifully aesthetics/beauty with practically or maybe two types of shelter. I love the suggestion that your protag is held captive by her own lo...
by Firebird
Mon Oct 07, 2019 6:26 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Obsessed With Pipework x2
Replies: 9
Views: 254

Re: Obsessed With Pipework x2

Thanks Mac. David, Pleased you remember Wharram Percy fondly. Much appreciated. Here’s a link to The Sea. http://www.poetsgraves.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=44&t=24083 Yes, OwP is a long standing paper journal. I had a couple of very short poems published by them about 7 years ago, but have never ma...