The Poets' Graves Workshop

Hi Perry, Good to see you posting a poem - it’s been a little while. However, I don’t think this is up to your usual high standards. I wish I could be more positive, but for me this poem is too abstract when it talks about ‘love’, time’, ‘fate’, ‘habit’ and ‘familiarity’. I know that we don’t always...

Honesty The world is now flat, but this is not ignorance: we left our cat without food and plants without water while we took a trip to what was once the horizon. The Innocents Lost amongst the thorns: people who tell you they know as if someone else had told them, and their breath held as if lost ...

Hi Jules, I like it too. My only nit is I thought ‘nice’ sounded a little weak to finish on compared with the rest of the poem. Cheers, Tristan Most Dinosaur of all the Jay - when she roars Such muscled manipulation of Space - So many angles from which she takes the Tree - So coarse the Risen Crest ...

Many congrats Lotus.

Cheers,

Tristan

'keep a lid on' is way better than 'moderate' - the meaning was clear (i.e. 'limit') plus the bonus image of a giant stockpot. Hi Jules, the meaning may well have been clear for you, but the problem is that that image can be read in two ways, one of which is not the desired meaning. I agree that ‘m...

It's all subjectivity, ain't it? It is mostly subjective, I think, but there is also craft. I suspect many poems are weeded out from the slush piles of such mags as Magma and Acumen because they just aren’t written very well, or as Ros says, don’t pay enough attention to sound. After that, I do thi...

Hi Not, I think I agree with Mac. The poem seems at it strongest here: There is no sound. .......................Perhaps there is no sound because she says nothing as the boy takes a cut of clothesline from the heart's pocket of his Catholic blue blazer. Nothing, as he raises his hand. Nothing, as t...

Yes, I think a comma would help after ‘free’.

Cheers,

Tristan

Hi JJ, It’s growing on me. Some specific comments below. This morning’s April showers seem much sweeter, now that winter’s storms have flown. A blow of warmth, at last, and borders look much neater, (I think this line implies that the wind makes it look much neater, which doesn’t really make sense, ...

Hi Jackie, I too used google to identify the tree, but it didn’t help me much. I’ve read the poem quite a few times and it sounds like it should be saying something, but I can’t work out what. David and Jules like it though, so it’s probably just me, and hopefully something will click later, or mayb...

Hi Ray, It’s a fun piece and I enjoyed the irony of the ending. Of course, the arguments put forward are absurd. But that’s what we are up against. Meat eaters try to legitimise their habit in all sorts of irrational ways. Some specific points below. If we must change our dining habits to keep a lid...

Hi Not, I’m back. Some specific points below. . v2. Whipping Boy She was standing in the window when I turned my head. Our neighbour, just watching, doing nothing but meeting my eyes. Looking like my grandmother, and at a boy old enough to be her grandson (I don’t think this line or the previous one...

Well done Ray and many congrats.

Cheers,

Tristan

It’s a beaut David.

I’ve been rejected that many times by Acumen I don’t bother submitting anymore. So well done.
I believe they receive something like 20 thousand poems per year which makes your feat even more impressive.

Many congratulations and well deserved.

Cheers,

Tristan

Hi Not,

Just to let you know, yes, it’s a lot clearer now. I’ll come back to this tonight when I have more time.

Cheers,

Tristan

Hi Perry,

Good to see you around again, and hope you’re feeling better. Many thanks for the feedback. I agree with your interps. I think this poem needs another direction of a type. I’m working on a new ending, which I hope will give it this.

Cheers,

Tristan

Hi David,

Yes, that’s the one.

Cheers,

Tristan

However, I failed to make many other connections that you intended.

Cheers,

Tristan

I don’t think it helps. It definitely drew me towards my boarding school interp.

Cheers,

Tristan

The scenario is:
(a memory of) a boy being whipped about the face by an older boy
(plus accomplice) while an elderly female neighbour looks on.

I don’t think I could have got to that.

Cheers,

Tristan

Hi Not, I think this poem is about a little boy (N) being sent off to a catholic boarding school by his ageing mother, probably when he was 7. Is this right? The following comments are based on this interpretation of your poem. I’m not completely convinced the piece of rope works as a metaphor for t...

Many congrats Ray. I really enjoyed it.

Cheers,

Tristan

Hi JJ, Is this a sonnet? If it is I’m failing to trace the turn (it’s probably just me though). If it isn’t I think it’s better without the final two lines. Some specific comments below. This morning’s April showers seem much sweeter, now that winter’s storms have flown. A blow of warmth, at last, a...

Hi Mac, You’ve simplified and uncluttered s1 and I now much prefer the revision but as others have said I do miss ‘cwtch’. For me the poem compares quite beautifully aesthetics/beauty with practically or maybe two types of shelter. I love the suggestion that your protag is held captive by her own lo...

Thanks Mac. David, Pleased you remember Wharram Percy fondly. Much appreciated. Here’s a link to The Sea. http://www.poetsgraves.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=44&t=24083 Yes, OwP is a long standing paper journal. I had a couple of very short poems published by them about 7 years ago, but have never ma...