Search found 29 matches

by Lexi
Thu Mar 12, 2015 8:41 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Bedtime
Replies: 13
Views: 1015

Re: Bedtime

Hi Mac, I really enjoyed this. I like the 'old-fashionedness.' It takes me right, right back to how scary bedtime can be when you are a kid especially if you are staying with your seeming ancient grandparents. The smell of milk is strong. As is the steamed up glasses. by Macavity » Wed Mar 11, 2015 ...
by Lexi
Thu Mar 12, 2015 8:21 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Blue of the morning (revised)
Replies: 30
Views: 2414

Re: Blue of the morning (revised)

Oops, apologies, yes I did copy and paste wrong bit. You know, I've know listened a few more times and read a few mores times and I don't know if it's because of that but I wouldn't change the 'begin' part now. It kick starts the music which blends with the setting you've so beautifully set up. This...
by Lexi
Wed Mar 11, 2015 9:51 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Blue of the morning (revised)
Replies: 30
Views: 2414

Re: Blue of the morning (revised)

Oh, I really enjoyed this. I read then listened. Listening brought more of 'you' to it which was useful because I don't know you! What a marked difference between the voice on the page and the 'real thing.' It had me reading several times. Not because I didn't understand but because it drew me in an...
by Lexi
Wed Mar 11, 2015 9:30 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Spring's Ample Measure (minor edit S2))
Replies: 18
Views: 1425

Re: Spring's Ample Measure

A beautiful Spring poem. Your first line grabs me and keeps me to the last line. Like others I love the womb line. So many stunning lines in your poem. Nothing jumps out at me that I would change.
Lexi
by Lexi
Sat Feb 28, 2015 12:21 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: A Miracle by Kendal's Greens (revision 2)
Replies: 24
Views: 2539

Re: A Miracle by Kendal's Greens (revision 1)

I have been watching your poem with interest. I like your revision. It flows in time to the message of that poor tree. Just a couple of points. As I golfer, do you have the luxury to time to 'watch' the felling of the tree. What about those playing coming up from behind? Would it be 'I saw' the fell...
by Lexi
Sat Feb 14, 2015 12:00 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Nook (rev4)
Replies: 23
Views: 1598

Re: Nook (rev2)

Hi mac, I enjoyed this very much. Your cliff walk scene is evocative especially with the fresh air, ginger cake and old bones. I really like the 'endings are edges away' line, sort of hinting that the ending could come at anytime even for this poet on his walk. A change that I suggest would be in th...
by Lexi
Sat Feb 14, 2015 11:39 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Grey Squirrel (Rev.)
Replies: 22
Views: 2267

Re: Grey Squirrel

Hi Jackie, I can see from the comments that you are re-editing but I just wanted to say I enjoyed the style of your poem very much. I particularly like your opening line. I've often noticed a solitary leaf that appears to be quivering when all around it still, so I could see this very clearly. As I ...
by Lexi
Sat Feb 14, 2015 11:29 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Battle-Hymn of the Cubicle
Replies: 5
Views: 679

Re: Battle-Hymn of the Cubicle

Hi k-j, Your poem made me smile! In listing all the things around 'him,' I can feel an intensity/tension that perhaps the speaker himself has not yet realised but the writer of the poem is hinting at through the Eugene character. Very clever. Your abrupt end, to me, is very Spike Milligan. Really en...
by Lexi
Mon Sep 16, 2013 7:42 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: One question too far
Replies: 5
Views: 887

Re: One question too far

Thank you Ray for taking the time to read and feedback. This comes from looking at a bronze leaf, very tactile piece of art work and my reaction to is.
Yes, nice suggestions re plural of edge and omission of finger. It has been done. Many thanks again. Lexi
by Lexi
Sun Sep 15, 2013 10:57 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: One question too far
Replies: 5
Views: 887

One question too far

I would appreciate any thoughts on this poem. I do feel I want a different title but the same meaning. Any feedback would be very much appreciated. Thank you. Lexi Gone too far Was picking at flakes in a hope to discover what lies beneath inching carefully around the edge scraping resilient parts wi...
by Lexi
Mon Jul 01, 2013 8:01 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Facelift
Replies: 13
Views: 1240

Re: Facelift

Hi Ros, I enjoyed reading your poem. I do agree with the others that perhaps you need a different title. Perhaps something steampunk? I was surprised that 'she' was meeting a 'he'. I enjoyed it just being the maker and her. It felt intimate. I wouldn't change too much language wise. It's intriguing,...
by Lexi
Wed Jun 05, 2013 12:46 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: fictional femme fatale
Replies: 8
Views: 682

Re: fictional femme fatale

Hi og
I like your 1st revision draft and personally wouldn't change a thing. I love it.
Lexi.
by Lexi
Wed May 29, 2013 1:30 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: A bee
Replies: 17
Views: 1134

Re: A bee

Hi Macavity,
I enjoyed your youtube clip and your poem.
I enjoy brevity and concreteness.
I, personally, would end the poem after blossom. All a matter of person taste and confidence.
Lexi
by Lexi
Sat May 25, 2013 12:31 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The imagined balcony
Replies: 13
Views: 957

Re: The imagined balcony

You are welcome David. Yes I did re-post my sestina. I am happy with the verses, just the dreaded envoi. I am not happy with it at all and will probably re-think the whole thing.
btw. I presumed the tiles were on the floor, as they are in Rome.
Look forward to seeing this one develop.
Lexi
by Lexi
Fri May 24, 2013 10:53 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The imagined balcony
Replies: 13
Views: 957

Re: The imagined balcony

Hi David, I enjoyed your poem but feel it needs a little tightening. I wonder if you could lose 'On the imagined balcony' as you already have it in the title and again at the end. Start with 'I sit at a table.' How about 'with honey' instead of 'and honey' as you have two 'and' s very close together...
by Lexi
Sun May 19, 2013 9:52 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: park
Replies: 9
Views: 1073

Re: park

Hi John, I enjoyed reading your poem. However, it struck me that you have several potential poems wrapped into one. morning park, woman jogging with dog, panting, a formation of power walkers, overweight in tracksuits rustling like crisp packets I think you could make more of the woman jogger with h...
by Lexi
Fri May 17, 2013 8:21 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Lost Flip-Flop
Replies: 14
Views: 1171

Re: Lost Flip-Flop

Hi
I enjoyed reading you short, to the point, poem. Fabulous imagery. Gets better with each read. I personally would loose 'don't you,' as I feel it would be a stronger poem without.
Lexi
by Lexi
Tue May 14, 2013 1:45 pm
Forum: Forum News and Support
Topic: Closed group for poem intended for competition
Replies: 1
Views: 3648

Closed group for poem intended for competition

Hi,
I am sure when I joined, I read that you have a group that is private, (no public access) for poets working on poems for competition. However, I can't see one. Please could you direct me to it.
Many thanks,
Lexi..
by Lexi
Thu Apr 11, 2013 8:31 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Last Orders
Replies: 19
Views: 1165

Re: Last Orders

Hi, I hope you don't mind I have re-jigged. I like this very much. Creates a vivid image of a character. I could see a tighter image with a couple of the words taken out and the layout as such. I hope this is useful to you and you don't mind me re-jigging. Still new to this site. Hope this helps. Le...
by Lexi
Thu Apr 11, 2013 8:17 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Eton Rifle
Replies: 19
Views: 1299

Re: Eton Rifle

Hi, I, too, love this. Great poem. Great atmosphere within. I think the rifle works within and the bloody cheek works well with the age. Two parts stick out for me. I would be tempted to find a less 'telling' word for 'crap' or even leave it out altogether, the meaning would still be there. I would ...
by Lexi
Thu Apr 11, 2013 7:56 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Fish Breath'd Hag of Monterey Bay
Replies: 6
Views: 555

Re: The Fish Breath'd Hag of Monterey Bay

Thank you Ray,
It has been useful posting on here. I can see that I need to write an extra verse to clarify exactly who the Hag is and what she is doing. Many thanks for commenting. Very useful
Lexi
by Lexi
Thu Apr 11, 2013 7:54 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Fish Breath'd Hag of Monterey Bay
Replies: 6
Views: 555

Re: The Fish Breath'd Hag of Monterey Bay

Hi Antcliff/Seth Many thanks for the welcome. I look forward to working with you. As explained in reply to Mac, I feel I need to add in another verse to make the meaning clear, so a useful exercise posting on here. 'required' could be a good alternative, thank you. The shipwreck's hold is exactly th...
by Lexi
Thu Apr 11, 2013 7:48 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Fish Breath'd Hag of Monterey Bay
Replies: 6
Views: 555

Re: The Fish Breath'd Hag of Monterey Bay

Hi Mac, Many thanks for your feedback. Your comment did make me laugh. I have never done drugs either but writing this made me feel perhaps I should have done! This is very different to what I usually write. I wrote it last summer and am writing a book around this character, (well I'm at the beginni...
by Lexi
Tue Apr 09, 2013 1:09 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Coordinates
Replies: 17
Views: 1178

Re: Coordinates

Thank you for the welcome and am pleased you found feedback useful. I look forward to using the site.
Lexi
by Lexi
Tue Apr 09, 2013 1:07 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Skips
Replies: 10
Views: 827

Re: Skips

You are very welcome. Good luck with your next edit.
Lexi