Search found 157 matches

by joe77evans
Mon Feb 02, 2015 9:51 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: googlepoem - sticky
Replies: 46
Views: 12699

Re: googlepoem - sticky

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by joe77evans
Fri Aug 29, 2014 8:13 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: This Acting Life
Replies: 8
Views: 1005

Re: This Acting Life

A very clear and good thought but maybe not quite a crisp and clear poem yet? It felt very much like thinking aloud to me as it stands with quite a lot of dead wood to prune out - this without any regard to poetry or form, but: Son, brother, husband, father; nephew, cousin, uncle, friend. These are ...
by joe77evans
Fri Aug 01, 2014 9:01 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: In the Clouds
Replies: 14
Views: 1863

Re: In the Clouds

You know, I'd be happy without the final stanza - I preferred you as an imaginary goddess instead of a frustrated poet...
by joe77evans
Thu Jul 10, 2014 3:29 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: An exhibit
Replies: 8
Views: 962

Re: An exhibit

Thanks everyone. I'll fiddle with this over the weekend.
by joe77evans
Wed Jul 09, 2014 5:52 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: An exhibit
Replies: 8
Views: 962

Re: An exhibit

More detail needed then... It's a horrible steel whip I saw a photo of somewhere years ago, I think from some African country but I can't quite remember. The very existence of the object, manufactured in a way that must have needed designs and tooling and factory equipment and so on, had (and still ...
by joe77evans
Mon Jul 07, 2014 9:55 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: An exhibit
Replies: 8
Views: 962

An exhibit

An exhibit The heart of it: a steel strip cut from a single sheet as thick as belt leather. At the handle wooden cheeks are drilled for rivets. From there it tapers in a curve of careful delicacy, down to heavy wire; the tip is splayed to form a thumb-wide triangle, sharply square on edge and apex. ...
by joe77evans
Sun Jun 08, 2014 9:33 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Soul of a Bird
Replies: 17
Views: 1320

Re: The Soul of a Bird

Caleb - there was another comment which has since vanished which seemed to be about to send things on a bit of a nose dive...
by joe77evans
Sun Jun 08, 2014 12:03 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Soul of a Bird
Replies: 17
Views: 1320

Re: The Soul of a Bird

I don't visit this forum very often because I'm very busy at the moment, but what always brings me back here is the intelligence and focus that people bring to each others' work and the sense of a genuine communal effort to write better poetry. It would be a shame if the pervading tone of negativity...
by joe77evans
Fri Jun 06, 2014 5:21 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The airport lounge,
Replies: 14
Views: 1169

Re: The airport lounge,

I like the image at the end of an airport lounge as a departure lounge from life itself, where travellers prepare for their final journey into an unknown afterlife. I wonder who the narrator is, and why they are so uncomfortable? Where are they travelling to or from, and why is it such an ordeal? Wh...
by joe77evans
Fri Jun 06, 2014 3:55 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Miles over the Preselis (V2)
Replies: 7
Views: 895

Re: Miles over the Preselis (V2)

A slight re-write to try and make the concept a bit more explicit...
by joe77evans
Sun Jun 01, 2014 3:37 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Miles over the Preselis (V2)
Replies: 7
Views: 895

Re: Miles over the Preselis

Thanks all, plenty to consider... I've always thought of the buzzard as a very still bird in flight, hanging motionless on the wind, at home within unseen currents of rising air, seeing everything and patient in the knowledge that everything living will eventually die and become lunch for buzzards. ...
by joe77evans
Sun Jun 01, 2014 11:47 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Miles over the Preselis (V2)
Replies: 7
Views: 895

Re: Miles over the Preselis

Thanks Og! I'll pick through the sentence structures a little and see if I can make some improvements. The way I experienced the Preselis that day was by driving through the area listening to Miles Davis' Kind of Blue. Perhaps the poem need a note to the effect that it would be best enjoyed by readi...
by joe77evans
Sat May 31, 2014 9:32 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Miles over the Preselis (V2)
Replies: 7
Views: 895

Miles over the Preselis (V2)

Miles over the Preselis (V2) Sun-silvered stumps of a forest long since felled are the gravestones in the chapel yard at Blaenffos. I drive on by. The road swings and rolls, rippling arpeggios cascade among the overstrung laburnum and cymbals hiss through gorse, reeds and rattling sticks of winter-b...
by joe77evans
Sun Apr 20, 2014 6:12 pm
Forum: Poetry Discussion
Topic: First Cuckoo
Replies: 8
Views: 1665

Re: First Cuckoo

First cuckoo of the year in North Pembs on Saturday...
by joe77evans
Fri Apr 18, 2014 9:08 pm
Forum: Poetry Discussion
Topic: what is poetry
Replies: 5
Views: 980

Re: what is poetry

Frank Zappa said that all that was required to create music was for someone to define a start and a finish. Everything in between is music, just as everything in an art gallery must be art.
The interesting question is not what is poetry, it's 'what is good poetry'...
by joe77evans
Wed Apr 16, 2014 11:01 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Felixstowe (v2 small edit)
Replies: 9
Views: 1311

Re: Felixstowe (v2)

Maybe me, but if they are from an unknown alphabet, how do you know they're capital letters? It was just you, but now it's me too. Damn. Actually, I think it still sort of works in that you see the cranes as being like capital letters first -all long straight lines - but then you see that you can't...
by joe77evans
Sat Apr 12, 2014 9:19 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Felixstowe (v2 small edit)
Replies: 9
Views: 1311

Re: Felixstowe (v2)

Thanks Seth. I pondered over 'punched' myself. There's a particular sense to the wind and the water that I wanted to try and catch, especially strong wind in shallow water as on that bit of the coast. It's not majestic and dramatic; it's hard, choppy, short and tough, and after a day out in it you d...
by joe77evans
Sat Apr 12, 2014 8:25 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: To Europe
Replies: 14
Views: 1070

Re: To Europe

I don't know - I'm not sure that it isn't harder to slip in and out of an iambic rhythm than to strictly observe it. The iambic bits, like of civilized discourse and full employment, slip off the tongue so smoothly that when you hit so that the striking miners and the police, it sounds uncomfortably...
by joe77evans
Sat Apr 12, 2014 8:08 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: To Europe
Replies: 14
Views: 1070

Re: To Europe

I like the structure of this a lot, although to my ear it could maybe be polished a tiny bit more in terms of rhythm - it seems to step in and out of an iambic flow in a way that feels slightly faltering. Here: where foot and mouth has broken out, is rife - 'Is rife' feels a bit bolted on. How about...
by joe77evans
Thu Apr 10, 2014 4:58 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Felixstowe (v2 small edit)
Replies: 9
Views: 1311

Re: Felixstowe

Thanks all. I'm working on another draft...
by joe77evans
Tue Apr 08, 2014 8:10 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Felixstowe (v2 small edit)
Replies: 9
Views: 1311

Felixstowe (v2 small edit)

Felixstowe (v2) She lies easy at anchor, in darkness - easy on the frayed nerves of a hard passage. My face burns from a day's exposure to the North Sea's giddy violence. Alluvial mud and the night cries of wading birds. The clouds lit orange, the Channel alive with winking lights. Across the estuar...
by joe77evans
Fri Apr 04, 2014 2:41 pm
Forum: Poetry Discussion
Topic: How do these comments make you reflect on your own efforts?
Replies: 9
Views: 1458

Re: How do these comments make you reflect on your own effor

Bodkin - absolutely, and I do! But I suppose I was trying to point out the contradiction in Byrne and Pollard's piece: they criticise poets for writing anecdotes and stagings of mild epiphany, and instead they suggest writing about what your everyday life offers you. Well, my everyday life offers me...
by joe77evans
Thu Apr 03, 2014 3:13 pm
Forum: Poetry Discussion
Topic: How do these comments make you reflect on your own efforts?
Replies: 9
Views: 1458

Re: How do these comments make you reflect on your own effor

Unfortunately my
everyday life
does offer me a series of
anecdotes and minor stagings of epiphany
...
by joe77evans
Wed Apr 02, 2014 10:06 pm
Forum: Poetry Discussion
Topic: How do these comments make you reflect on your own efforts?
Replies: 9
Views: 1458

Re: How do these comments make you reflect on your own effor

The problem with all kinds of critical theory and analysis of all art forms seems to me to be that it's quite possible for a really good artist to create something amazing pretty much anywhere on any kind of spectrum - from deep within the traditions of a form to cutting-edge contemporary; from disc...
by joe77evans
Thu Mar 27, 2014 6:43 pm
Forum: Poetry Discussion
Topic: Sylvia Plath, Hack or Genius?
Replies: 29
Views: 8177

Re: Sylvia Plath, Hack or Genius?

I love Sylvia Plath's work, and I feel that I know more of her through her poetry than I could ever learn by reading about her. No doubt this is an illusion, but there it is... There are a number of writers, prose and poetry, who I feel the same way about - that their work rises above the detail of ...