The Poets' Graves Workshop

ray miller wrote: ↑

Wed Oct 16, 2019 10:24 am

Thanks all. 1660's, based on a book by Daniel Defoe.

I'll take that. I'm not far out. In the right century - a couple of decades off - anyway.

Macavity wrote: ↑

Sun Oct 13, 2019 9:26 am

There was some discussion about the poem's title on the thread, but clearly you never changed it.

I had forgotten that! No, you're right, I didn't. Stubborn, see?

Firebird wrote: ↑

Sat Oct 12, 2019 5:39 pm

Anyway, Country Roads is an excellent poem. I’ve gone back to it a few times now and I’m still enjoying it.

Glad to hear it! Thanks Tristan.

Ah yes. This is supposedly the George Herbert poem, in the sense that it's (possibly) his best. There are many other good ones.

And this is a good read about him: https://www.theguardian.com/books/2013/aug/15/music-midnight-herbert-drury-review

I know little about Hopkins apart from sprung rhythm and I can't even remember what that is exactly. I wouldn't be surprised if you've employed it in this poem, though. Ha! I wish. Thanks Ray. To be honest, I don't think (in my ignorance, no doubt) that sprung rhythm is really the great innovation ...

Thank you Tristan! Gosh, I did not realise the submission rate was so high. That's bucked me up somewhat! This is my second one there. It's strange: I've made no impression at all on Magma, for instance - except that I was shortlisted once - and have had a measly one poem in The Rialto, but that fai...

I like it. I think you're playing on two meanings of "perfect stranger".

Is it a sort of triolet? Or even a trlolet? I am vague on such things.

Nice poem, though.

Cheers

David

Excellent, Ray.

I haven't submitted anything anywhere for a while, but here's one with - apparently - a long fuse. I have a poem in the September Acumen. I can't post a link because it is - quaintly, these days - a print magazine, but it's this one ... http://www.poetsgraves.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=18642&p=...

Firebird wrote: ↑

Mon Oct 07, 2019 6:26 pm

David,

Pleased you remember Wharram Percy fondly. Much appreciated. Here’s a link to The Sea. http://www.poetsgraves.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=44&t=24083

Ah yes! I remember objecting to "caw".

Yes, I like cwtch. (Where's the cwtch?)

And what does it mean?

Very good - especially "cold promiscuities". I tried to place this historically, which may be a mistake. In the end the musketry, and God's praises, made me lean towards the English Civil War. If that's still what they call it. Very good anyway (and pretty much timeless, I suppose - apart from that ...

Very good, Ray. And great last line.

Well done Tristan. OwP is a good place, I believe. I remember Wharram Percy fondly. I don't think I remember The Sea.

Cheers

David

David wrote: ↑

Sun Oct 06, 2019 5:30 pm

I'm not sure what Moonrise is in this context. I'll go and look it up.

Ah, Maenefa! Of course. We skirted it, behind St. Beuno's, Mrs C and I, on our recent furlough in North Wales. Quite evocative, walking in some of his footsteps.

JJ, you're right, of course. It is GMH. (Which, it occurs to me, could be an abbreviation of Grievous Mental Harm - a good description for the Jesuits.) Actually, now you mention it I remember your poem. Had forgotten that! And yes, youthinks correctly. I'm not sure what Moonrise is in this context....

Well done again Mac!

Oh okay. Makes good sense now, but I wonder about "mobile". It took me a while to see that it must be the phone, not one of those things that are often hung above children's beds. Would "phone" just be better there?

Cheers

David

Sorry to revert to my stereotype, Mac, but IPTO. The second verse is a beauty, though. I think you're doing something with the Welsh word "glas" in lines 7-8. I've done something like that myself ... http://www.poetsgraves.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=44&t=12901&p=100418 I was surprised to discover, ...

I like the title too, and much of the language, but I too await further enlightenment.

I enjoyed it, though - particularly the verse-linking rhymes (which fail for verse 3 ->4?)

Cheers

David

We've been enjoying Mortimer and Whitehouse Go Fishing, so this is timely for me. And I like it.

But what would it be like without the similes? Better, I think. See what you think.

Cheers

David

Thanks all. I'm afraid this is an extension of my all too reprehensible habit of talking - retrospectively - to the dead. Who that is is not necessarily relevant here. So it's a very personal one. I appreciate the comments, as ever, but - in this case - they're not likely to change the thing very mu...

Ah yes. I remember this one. Well done again.

Jules, Ray (again), Tristan, JJ - thank you. Jules, I do see the argument against the shotgun marriage of Celtic Twilight and the Twilight Zone. I like it, though. De gustibus, I suppose. Although there is something comic about the whole idea of the Celtic Twilight, is there not? And I speak as one ...

Ah, you old romantic, Mac. Thank you!

Cheers

David