The Poets' Graves Workshop

The most surprising toy here is the line 'Of my illness' - apparently being described in the same terms as the boiler. I was hoping the reader would wonder what that was doing there and slowly begin to see the possibility that everything said in this offhand conversational way about the whole boile...

Hi Mac. I like S3. What if you started with that and went on from there? I'd like to find out.

Cheers

David

I like it, but "bites" seems an inadequate way of putting her coups de grace. Of course there may be - and meant to be - an ironic reference to "love bites". But the furst line is so terrific that I want the rest of the poem to take its rhythmic cue from it - something like this ... ? Miss Mantis re...

Hello Jane! You are an even rarer visitor than me, aren't you? And much more exotic. Hello Pauline! Hope you and the family are well. It would be very nice to meet up with you all again, some time. Ah well, like Rick and Ilsa in Casablanca , we'll always have ... where was it? That pub somewhere in ...

Mac, Tristan, thanks.

The usual suspects, I would say. I appreciate it, anyway.

The old collective spirit is sadly lacking here these days, isn't it?

Cheers

David

I may be lying relatively low at the moment – taking a rest from the reciprocal grind – but I’m not above a little seasonal self-advertisement ... (two in here).

http://www.snakeskinpoetry.co.uk/

(Damn hyperlinks still not working?)

David

Thanks Mac.

And thanks Sid. Nice to meet you.

I like these three-letter appellations (not Appalachians) - they're very efficient.

Cheers

Dvd

I know I've been conspicuous - and maybe not even conspicuous - only by my absence lately, but I still keep a (relatively) benign eye on things, and I may get back to more active participation some time. So Happy Christmas anyway.

Gold bless us, one and all.

David

ray miller wrote: ↑

Wed Oct 16, 2019 10:24 am

Thanks all. 1660's, based on a book by Daniel Defoe.

I'll take that. I'm not far out. In the right century - a couple of decades off - anyway.

Macavity wrote: ↑

Sun Oct 13, 2019 9:26 am

There was some discussion about the poem's title on the thread, but clearly you never changed it.

I had forgotten that! No, you're right, I didn't. Stubborn, see?

Firebird wrote: ↑

Sat Oct 12, 2019 5:39 pm

Anyway, Country Roads is an excellent poem. I’ve gone back to it a few times now and I’m still enjoying it.

Glad to hear it! Thanks Tristan.

Ah yes. This is supposedly the George Herbert poem, in the sense that it's (possibly) his best. There are many other good ones.

And this is a good read about him: https://www.theguardian.com/books/2013/aug/15/music-midnight-herbert-drury-review

I know little about Hopkins apart from sprung rhythm and I can't even remember what that is exactly. I wouldn't be surprised if you've employed it in this poem, though. Ha! I wish. Thanks Ray. To be honest, I don't think (in my ignorance, no doubt) that sprung rhythm is really the great innovation ...

Thank you Tristan! Gosh, I did not realise the submission rate was so high. That's bucked me up somewhat! This is my second one there. It's strange: I've made no impression at all on Magma, for instance - except that I was shortlisted once - and have had a measly one poem in The Rialto, but that fai...

I like it. I think you're playing on two meanings of "perfect stranger".

Is it a sort of triolet? Or even a trlolet? I am vague on such things.

Nice poem, though.

Cheers

David

Excellent, Ray.

I haven't submitted anything anywhere for a while, but here's one with - apparently - a long fuse. I have a poem in the September Acumen. I can't post a link because it is - quaintly, these days - a print magazine, but it's this one ... http://www.poetsgraves.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=18642&p=...

Firebird wrote: ↑

Mon Oct 07, 2019 6:26 pm

David,

Pleased you remember Wharram Percy fondly. Much appreciated. Here’s a link to The Sea. http://www.poetsgraves.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=44&t=24083

Ah yes! I remember objecting to "caw".

Yes, I like cwtch. (Where's the cwtch?)

And what does it mean?

Very good - especially "cold promiscuities". I tried to place this historically, which may be a mistake. In the end the musketry, and God's praises, made me lean towards the English Civil War. If that's still what they call it. Very good anyway (and pretty much timeless, I suppose - apart from that ...

Very good, Ray. And great last line.

Well done Tristan. OwP is a good place, I believe. I remember Wharram Percy fondly. I don't think I remember The Sea.

Cheers

David

David wrote: ↑

Sun Oct 06, 2019 5:30 pm

I'm not sure what Moonrise is in this context. I'll go and look it up.

Ah, Maenefa! Of course. We skirted it, behind St. Beuno's, Mrs C and I, on our recent furlough in North Wales. Quite evocative, walking in some of his footsteps.

JJ, you're right, of course. It is GMH. (Which, it occurs to me, could be an abbreviation of Grievous Mental Harm - a good description for the Jesuits.) Actually, now you mention it I remember your poem. Had forgotten that! And yes, youthinks correctly. I'm not sure what Moonrise is in this context....

Well done again Mac!