Search found 468 matches

by Moth
Thu Dec 06, 2018 2:53 pm
Forum: Poetry Discussion
Topic: Do ezines filter out poems posted on forums.
Replies: 19
Views: 1879

Re: Do ezines filter out poems posted on forums.

Hi Perry, when the articles came through to me the app had already done its job - plagiarism detected or not. If detected, all I had to do was Google paragraphs to check the source and decide whether any part was in fact plagiarised - could be something as basic as a list or facts which couldn't rea...
by Moth
Thu Dec 06, 2018 2:29 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Unpacking the Problem (V4)
Replies: 18
Views: 997

Re: Unpacking the Problem (V2)

Not merely a poem about the use of plastic in western society, more evident in v1, but also and more importantly one about internet security (and the use of plastic cards) a topic which should really concern us all; with the addition of outsourcing and trust in v2 this comes clear though you do lose...
by Moth
Wed Dec 05, 2018 2:29 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Post
Replies: 15
Views: 810

Re: The Post

A very strong piece, Not, which I'm assuming has a historical relevance which other more learned members may gauge right away. Unfortunately, I'm not one of them :) . The title does seem to indicate this, and so I'd quite like to know who N is, though on another level the poem could simply read as a...
by Moth
Wed Dec 05, 2018 12:57 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: It's Aye Been (Version 4)
Replies: 7
Views: 600

Re: It's Aye Been (Version 4)

Comments noted - thank you once again NQS and JJ. I've posted a further revision in light of your thoughts.
by Moth
Mon Dec 03, 2018 10:13 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: It's Aye Been (Version 4)
Replies: 7
Views: 600

Re: It's Aye Been (Further revised)

Thanks again, Not. I really wasn't happy with the middle section so have made some changes to hopefully strengthen the tone and the message.

The starting band is where a piece of knitting begins, normally the section at the bottom of a jumper.
by Moth
Mon Dec 03, 2018 6:48 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Five and a Half Haiku Matinée
Replies: 17
Views: 1128

Re: Every Tree

Those silver birches wind-whip-dancing with such originality I like this image. It's exactly what the silver birch does in the wind, though the branches do look more whip-like in winter, tend to destroy themselves a bit in the process as well, ground strewn with branches a common sight. Maybe an ad...
by Moth
Sun Dec 02, 2018 8:39 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Malcolm's Last Meal v2
Replies: 16
Views: 996

Re: Malcolm's Last Meal v2

Hi Not,

Not being Australian, I had to refer to your link to gauge who this was about, but I think the revision flows quite well, only the Instagram line jolts a bit. Maybe Instagram vid?
by Moth
Sun Dec 02, 2018 8:25 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: It's Aye Been (Version 4)
Replies: 7
Views: 600

Re: It's Aye Been

I've revised in line with some of your thoughts, Not. Thanks for the helpful crit - can't lose the starting band, but hope I've clarified a little. Rose was intended as a reference to Burns' red, red rose, I knew myself it didn't really work in context.
by Moth
Sun Dec 02, 2018 5:28 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: It's Aye Been (Version 4)
Replies: 7
Views: 600

It's Aye Been (Version 4)

V4 It stinks round here – small town, closed mind, rank behind the cavalcade. Hey you, with the silken rosette, get down off your horse and bag up the mess, it’s good for the roses, you know, pluck yourself another thorny red one, mount a platform set up in the square make quaint your stoic boundari...
by Moth
Sun Dec 02, 2018 5:24 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: At Sixty (experimental, rough)
Replies: 23
Views: 1898

Re: At Sixty (experimental, rough)

I agree. Thanks again.
by Moth
Mon Nov 26, 2018 10:02 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Lapidary
Replies: 33
Views: 2299

Re: Lapidary

I get it - but then again don't. I'm reading the brackets as being the father's achievements e.g. MBE and such like. Yes, the space is between the bottom of the brackets and the ground, but if the mother's name is on the stone already, you only mention maiden name, and normally it is - husband of X,...
by Moth
Mon Nov 26, 2018 9:54 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Avoiding the First Cut (revision 4)
Replies: 24
Views: 1518

Re: Avoiding the Cut

I liked it. Read it in conjunction with the title as being about cuts to public services and the froglets being children or those who remain blind to such things, the innocent.
by Moth
Mon Nov 26, 2018 9:50 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Constantius II - The Punch Line (V4)
Replies: 8
Views: 733

Re: Constantius II - The Punch Line (revised)

I must say, when I first read this, Jules, I was slightly unnerved as I've had a couple of very odd packages land on my doormat in the past week or so - oddly addressed, screeds and screeds of illegible writing and what I could make out was far from coherent. Got to the bottom of this today, a woman...
by Moth
Mon Nov 26, 2018 9:28 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Id (revision 2)
Replies: 11
Views: 952

Re: Id (revision 2)

Thanks mac, I will have to mull this one over, maybe leave it a week and then decide. Since you and Tony are in agreement, you could well be right, I just can't get used to the idea of the poem starting so suddenly, no lead in.
by Moth
Mon Nov 26, 2018 9:24 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: At Sixty (experimental, rough)
Replies: 23
Views: 1898

Re: At Sixty (experimental, rough)

Hi Alex, thanks for the thumbs up on this. I haven't seen a poem quite like this before. I take it as a compliment :D I would have coloured as suggested, possibly reversing the pink and grey as well but it is so painstaking trying to do this on here. The main thought behind the title is age but also...
by Moth
Sun Nov 25, 2018 3:53 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Snip (revision3)
Replies: 17
Views: 947

Re: Snip (revision)

P.s. I think the word oval should figure somewhere (maybe the bucket or handle, the mound?)

:!: The cake!
by Moth
Sun Nov 25, 2018 3:46 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Snip (revision3)
Replies: 17
Views: 947

Re: Snip (revision)

Mac, I've just read your full explanation of the poem and I think it's worth sticking to the original theme, but the way the piece looks of the page (I think I was right when I said it was distracting) could confuse the meaning, as would the title - snip indicates vasectomy, therefore childnessness ...
by Moth
Sun Nov 25, 2018 2:48 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Sandcastles
Replies: 11
Views: 967

Re: Sandcastles

An excellent analogy about the thoughtless/willful assault on tradition/traditional values with imagery enough for it to stand almost purely as a literal, descriptive piece. I just had a couple of niggles near the end: Let not slop and squash Demean our structure Let not the moon’s violence quell No...
by Moth
Sun Nov 25, 2018 1:54 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Id (revision 2)
Replies: 11
Views: 952

Re: Id (revised)

Thanks. I hate it too when someone alters something I like beyond recognition. Trial and error; alternative (without resorting to exact transcripts of others' suggestions) to be posted soon.
by Moth
Sun Nov 25, 2018 1:26 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Id (revision 2)
Replies: 11
Views: 952

Re: Id (revised)

Okey-doke, I'll consider it (or bin!) Thanks for your honesty.
by Moth
Sat Nov 24, 2018 11:16 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: At Sixty (experimental, rough)
Replies: 23
Views: 1898

Re: At Sixty (experimental, rough)

I'm thinking I'll work out what to do with this in time, like so many of my earlier less ambitious works I've since knocked into some sort of shape. Ever a learning curve, isn't it? If only I had your experienced eye and youth on my side. I wish!
by Moth
Sat Nov 24, 2018 11:07 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Snip (revision3)
Replies: 17
Views: 947

Re: Snip

Oh, snip... infertility? I may be way off.
by Moth
Sat Nov 24, 2018 11:06 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Snip (revision3)
Replies: 17
Views: 947

Re: Snip

Hi Mac, I find the very short lines combined with the length of the poem quite distracting. I don't know if this was your intent, but because of the opening line I keep seeing discarded newspaper blowing about the garden. I'm sensing agoraphobia by the end, or N's loved one (partner, grown-up child?...
by Moth
Sat Nov 24, 2018 10:53 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Id (revision 2)
Replies: 11
Views: 952

Re: Id

Hi Jules, thanks. I like your suggestion for ending on shears, the id breaking free of the ego's constraints. Not sure I could write from the opposite pov as essentially I am writing to myself - as if one such poem isn't narcissistic enough! Crazy? Hmm, just wanted to put a different spin on the the...
by Moth
Sat Nov 24, 2018 1:58 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Id (revision 2)
Replies: 11
Views: 952

Re: Id

Thank you Tony and Mac, your comments have helped me realise what it is I don't like about this. The id is wild and free, so a compact format - focused a bit too much on making an artistic statement (10 syllable lines, apart from the last, which didn't quite work out anyway, one line short of the 'm...