Search found 43 matches

by dragonfly
Sun Jun 17, 2012 8:30 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Love
Replies: 7
Views: 603

Re: Love

I really like this. It made me smile straight away. I think it's complete too - well it feels so to me anyway.

Thanks,
dragonfly
by dragonfly
Wed Mar 28, 2012 2:09 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Still life (original)
Replies: 18
Views: 1206

Re: Still life (original)

Thanks Mic. The title felt right to me, so it's good to know it works OK. (So often doubts creep in.....)
by dragonfly
Tue Mar 27, 2012 10:13 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Still life (original)
Replies: 18
Views: 1206

Re: Still life (original)

Thank you, Peter, that's so nice to hear. Thanks too for coming back to this one.

Best,
dragonfly
by dragonfly
Thu Mar 22, 2012 6:23 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Still life (original)
Replies: 18
Views: 1206

Re: Still life (original)

Many thanks, Richard. Glad it worked for you.

Best,
dragonfly
by dragonfly
Mon Mar 12, 2012 11:43 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Forget-me-knots
Replies: 12
Views: 1153

Re: Forget-me-knots

Sorry I'm late getting to this one. I kept coming back to read it, which has to be a good sign. I really like 'she sublimely slows through time' and the second sentence of stanza two as well, although I preferred it with the full stop after 'condensing' (for rhythmic reasons, especially the way the ...
by dragonfly
Wed Mar 07, 2012 12:57 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Still life (original)
Replies: 18
Views: 1206

Re: Still life (revised)

Thanks Arian and Ant. I'm new to all this revising stuff, so thought I'd experiment. Although I wasn't really happy with it, I just thought I'd give it a try. Thanks for the feedback. I think I will un-revise it again now, as I was probably a bit hasty. My other half says I messed it up too, so ther...
by dragonfly
Tue Mar 06, 2012 11:08 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Still life (original)
Replies: 18
Views: 1206

Re: Still life (revised)

Thanks Nicky, that's really encouraging, and it's good to know there is another shower-worshipper out there too! I'm still in two minds about the different versions. I prefer the mention of a future civilisation in the original, as it makes it more clear maybe that I would be long dead in this scena...
by dragonfly
Tue Mar 06, 2012 11:04 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Still life (original)
Replies: 18
Views: 1206

Re: Still life (revised)

Thanks Lake, glad it was interesting. Still life was kind of a play on words really - read one way it means an artwork, and another way it can be read to mean 'there is still life' ie. life continues, carries on. (Exploring issues around mortality, human frailty etc.) Hope that makes sense. I was th...
by dragonfly
Mon Mar 05, 2012 9:38 pm
Forum: Music and Song Lyric Discussion
Topic: Feeling groovy
Replies: 4
Views: 593

Re: Feeling groovy

'Hello lamppost, how ya doin'......takes me back. When we were kids this song and the Floral Dance were the only records we had, and played many many many times....good memories!
by dragonfly
Mon Mar 05, 2012 9:30 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Form - revised a bit
Replies: 14
Views: 943

Re: Form

Enjoyed this Ray. I like the parallels you draw. It doesn't read like a 'dull endeavour' though, more like a light-footed canter :)
by dragonfly
Mon Mar 05, 2012 9:07 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Still life (original)
Replies: 18
Views: 1206

Re: Still life

Thanks Ray. I do love my shower, but I see what you mean. Will think on that opening line......
by dragonfly
Mon Mar 05, 2012 6:20 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Still life (original)
Replies: 18
Views: 1206

Re: Still life

Thanks, Ant, for reading and enjoying this little piroette-type-thing!
by dragonfly
Mon Mar 05, 2012 5:36 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Hurricanes and Flugelhorns
Replies: 9
Views: 639

Re: Hurricanes and Flugelhorns

What a satisfying and fun read. Love such word play. Pure acrobatics!
by dragonfly
Mon Mar 05, 2012 5:01 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Still life (original)
Replies: 18
Views: 1206

Still life (original)

Still life In a dream of a future civilisation they've dug up my favourite thing, my shower, got it working then frozen the water in mid-air. It's a kind of chandelier. Sometimes, like a mirage, glimpses of me appear inside. A collector's item, my eyes are closed, my head's flung back. The nakedness...
by dragonfly
Fri Jan 06, 2012 11:18 am
Forum: Poetry Exercises
Topic: Small stones: an exercise for January
Replies: 73
Views: 22319

Re: Small stones: an exercise for January

Pale, tight
crocus buds -
eyelids shut
against the wind.
by dragonfly
Thu Dec 29, 2011 2:38 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Houseproud
Replies: 19
Views: 1532

Re: Houseproud

Generous and encouraging words, Gavin. Thank you! So glad it was a good read.

Best,
dragonfly
by dragonfly
Thu Dec 29, 2011 2:37 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: christmas revised
Replies: 9
Views: 827

Re: christmas

I enjoyed this one too. Lively and imaginative - I especially like the idea of grandma's hind legs, a memorable image.

Like David, I was intrigued to know which parts were literal and which were fantasy. The menu sounds good either way though!

All the best,
dragonfly
by dragonfly
Mon Dec 19, 2011 7:04 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Advert for a Lonely Hearts Column
Replies: 13
Views: 1247

Re: Advert for a Lonely Hearts Column

Well written, entertaining and makes a good point too I think, that last line saying a lot about destructive relationships. The loopy handwriting is a great touch too. I feel perhaps there's room to insert one more sentence, after line three. Maybe a couple more quirky details similar to those that ...
by dragonfly
Sat Dec 17, 2011 9:26 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Houseproud
Replies: 19
Views: 1532

Re: Houseproud

Thank you Peter. I'm very glad to hear the parts worked well for you even if the whole didn't quite. I was curious to see whether people would find the narrative clear, and also whether or not this would be an issue. Still getting my head round these questions and all their implications, so thanks f...
by dragonfly
Fri Dec 16, 2011 5:54 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Houseproud
Replies: 19
Views: 1532

Re: Houseproud

Sandbanx wrote:Glad I found this one....
I'm glad you did too. Thanks so much for reading, enjoying and commenting, Sandbanx.

best wishes,
dragonfly
by dragonfly
Sat Dec 10, 2011 11:18 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Back Woods
Replies: 22
Views: 2018

Re: Back Woods

Really like this, especially the idea of frozen sound and of course the bear and the bulbs. And the 'nothing' at the end. I find the sentence too long in the first stanza. I love the sound of it when I put a full stop after windows though. It's beautiful then IMHO, and 'peer' on the end of that line...
by dragonfly
Thu Dec 08, 2011 10:13 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Madrid [formerly Travelling Romance]
Replies: 17
Views: 1195

Re: Madrid [formerly Travelling Romance]

Enjoyed reading this. Love the gypsy jumpers and fashion like a sport, especially. In your current version, I preferred it without the last two lines. I think the two before them could close it well as they stand.

Thanks,
dragonfly
by dragonfly
Thu Dec 08, 2011 10:03 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The cries of animals
Replies: 22
Views: 2005

Re: The cries of animals

Then again 'someone weeps in the dark in my bed' could sound like a stranger has climbed into bed with you. What was I thinking? I think I was thinking something along the lines of 'a human weeps in the dark in my bed', but that's by the by. Reading the poem again this morning it feels complete as ...
by dragonfly
Tue Dec 06, 2011 5:07 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The cries of animals
Replies: 22
Views: 2005

Re: The cries of animals

Then again 'someone weeps in the dark in my bed' could sound like a stranger has climbed into bed with you. What was I thinking?
by dragonfly
Tue Dec 06, 2011 12:27 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The cries of animals
Replies: 22
Views: 2005

Re: The cries of animals

I like version 6, but maybe without the penultimate line. Or I wondered about 'someone weeps in the dark in my bed' instead of 'you weep'. (Maybe because I've read version 4, I was coming to it with the idea in the back of my mind that the n may be experiencing their own weeping as something unfamil...