Search found 69 matches

by Ladyhawk
Tue Mar 13, 2012 12:20 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Jigsaw
Replies: 14
Views: 504

Re: Jigsaw

I like the fact it gave a number of ways in which this can be read, not too much given away as I read each stanza which gives me a delightful read of the next one. I do agree that the title gave too much away but not only that, it is such a plain word for such a lovely poem with depth. And I certain...
by Ladyhawk
Thu Feb 16, 2012 10:08 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Title now yay "Feel or Hear?"
Replies: 5
Views: 339

Re: No title yet (still thinking about it)

Hello Victoria I think you have a very good idea here. There is a lot of symbolism in the terminology of cloths and associated activities. Weaving is one of the oldest trades there is. I must point out that much more than a list is required to create a poem though and in my opinion your notes are m...
by Ladyhawk
Wed Feb 15, 2012 12:34 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: The Man with a Camera
Replies: 15
Views: 565

Re: The Man with a Camera

I like the paradox, a parallel of two meanings and yet it is up to the reader to determine the object clasped in the hand. Yes golden day is cliche to me but boring? no not for me. This poem has great potential I like the ambiguity it makes me read it again and again to see which is which. I like th...
by Ladyhawk
Wed Feb 15, 2012 12:29 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Title now yay "Feel or Hear?"
Replies: 5
Views: 339

Title now yay "Feel or Hear?"

poem-metaphorical-concept-using-cloths. V3 A thread of difference Sat by the stony window high in the tower a girl sat and watched the chatting crowds. Their mouths move sounds rose, babbling like gabbling geese. She quietly stroke two cloths. One stolen for warmth the other she had found skipping t...
by Ladyhawk
Mon Jan 23, 2012 11:05 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Return (Edited: still not sure)
Replies: 8
Views: 353

Re: Return

Hi Almost nervous to be first to post (being a newby)! Loved this - I wasn't sure what was coming a first, mainly down to my interpretation of "slab" (dad was an undertaker). However certainly got that sense of relief of "good to be home". Favourite bits "toes squeaked" and the idea of 'squinting t...
by Ladyhawk
Mon Jan 23, 2012 10:19 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Return (Edited: still not sure)
Replies: 8
Views: 353

Return (Edited: still not sure)

RETURN Standing drenched on the cold slab, a rushing icy shiver forced through cracks. A stab of needles climbed flesh, winced, as toes squeaked. Squinting through showers for the lock’s opening. Quivering, the door creaks an aroma, meeting sweetness. A rushing fall behind, a paused frame silence.....
by Ladyhawk
Mon Jan 23, 2012 11:02 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Husband, Father, Brother, Son (New version)
Replies: 20
Views: 1086

Re: New poem - Husband, Father, Brother, Son

I like the quirky characteristic from the train image. I can see why line 5 and 6 seem not needed and yet you were reflecting, like arguing with yourself about the way to do this. It is the little things that makes a person unique and I think this has more interest for a number of reasons. The short...
by Ladyhawk
Mon Jan 23, 2012 10:52 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Two swans
Replies: 19
Views: 686

Re: Two swans

:D

I like the cheeky start and yet funny how people cope when dealing with news. I do agree "mother" fits moreso and subtly half rhymes with failure anyway. Mum appears childlike for such an observation under a gloomy cloud.
by Ladyhawk
Mon Jan 23, 2012 10:46 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Action speak louder than words
Replies: 9
Views: 1209

Re: Action speak louder than words

I'm sorry to say this failed to interest me. It consists entirely of generalizations which are thrown at us on a daily basis in news, lobbies and nature programs. Apart from the construction it does not convey any appealing imagery or deliver on any expectations I have of poetry. If any emotion is ...
by Ladyhawk
Tue Jan 17, 2012 11:21 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Action speak louder than words
Replies: 9
Views: 1209

Re: Action speak louder than words

Arian wrote:
The lady protests too much, methinks.
Hamlet, Act iii, Scene ii

:lol:
by Ladyhawk
Sun Jan 15, 2012 1:44 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Left hanging
Replies: 8
Views: 480

Re: Left hanging

Nice poem. I'm just not entirely sure about the title. The narator obviously is not the one left hanging. I would sooner name it " leave you hanging" or perhaps "rejecting" or maybe a bit more playfull "out of reach" Just something to think about. Perhaps others disagree. Kindest, Richard. Like the...
by Ladyhawk
Sun Jan 15, 2012 1:39 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Action speak louder than words
Replies: 9
Views: 1209

Re: Action speak louder than words

:D That's okay folks, you were meant to feel the way you do, annoyed, irritated, bored and disinterested, a rant that always disperse into thin air in other words falling on deaf ears. There is a new form developing with regards to "Big Society" ect and this was part of that theory at University. Yo...
by Ladyhawk
Wed Jan 11, 2012 8:06 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Buy Stuff through our Amazon link - please!
Replies: 16
Views: 23660

Re: Buy Stuff through our Amazon link - please!

dammit had I known about this I would have used this link for buying the bivvy which would have really helped, will use it in future next time. argh!
by Ladyhawk
Wed Jan 11, 2012 7:59 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Action speak louder than words
Replies: 9
Views: 1209

Action speak louder than words

Let's get into motion Persistence interruption, continuous destruction Stop this construction and the pollution Better our solution, change organisations Our lives on probation, forget identifications Try more conversation and undo confusions Get rid of delusions, create better illusions Use determ...
by Ladyhawk
Thu Oct 09, 2008 11:41 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Haiku Train
Replies: 7524
Views: 759784

Re: Haiku Train

that used to greet me
like rampant smelling fish
do you get my drift?
by Ladyhawk
Thu Oct 09, 2008 6:39 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Butterflies (pruning session) ;)
Replies: 8
Views: 427

Re: Butterflies

with patience read better? Dante, you really seem to begin grasping my problem here. The word 'with' instead of 'and' is exactly the problem I run into at times. When pointed out it makes sense. When I lip read I miss out little things like this as I have to fill them in myself. To get a better ide...
by Ladyhawk
Wed Oct 08, 2008 8:53 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Butterflies (pruning session) ;)
Replies: 8
Views: 427

Re: Butterflies

About flipping time I got some realistic feedback. I got fed up with hearing how wonderful it was. I felt something was not right but it takes an outside view to shake my bones, unfortunately no one was willing to say anything. I like your suggestions very logical and god why do people keep saying ...
by Ladyhawk
Wed Oct 08, 2008 8:20 pm
Forum: Poetry Discussion
Topic: Reciting Shakespeare exercise fun
Replies: 1
Views: 456

Reciting Shakespeare exercise fun

Try this exercise at home. You have to say them this way in order to be able to recite Shakespeare properly. Your mouth must not close more than two fingers depth between your teeth your mouth gets bigger when you say the bar bay bee part though. Now do it without fingers in your mouth but still ke...
by Ladyhawk
Wed Oct 08, 2008 8:09 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Butterflies (pruning session) ;)
Replies: 8
Views: 427

Butterflies (pruning session) ;)

Revised 2 Butterflies of forgiveness I walked through double doors into this strange temple. a figure stood waiting still, calm and gentle In the middle, I sat down, there he knelt in silence, staring beyond his white gown, still, hushed and patient. He saw into my heart blood spilled from my wounds...
by Ladyhawk
Wed Oct 08, 2008 7:57 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: My Daughter's Welsh Cob
Replies: 19
Views: 679

Re: My Daughter's Welsh Cob

Metapoetical intentions are great debates! Look at Shakespeare :) I love half rhymes and the half stepping rhymes, assonances etc too. The stumbling is a fair point actually now I read it slower. Mounting, scrambling, vault, there are quite a few words some depends whether your American or German et...
by Ladyhawk
Wed Oct 08, 2008 7:21 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Attrition (rework+stanza)
Replies: 25
Views: 1223

Re: Attrition

They grind themselves to death
with each recursive, crashing breath.

I love this stanza, a great rhyming couplet with a lasting impact for imagery. Ooh it made me shiver as I read it.

Cheers

Ladyhawk
by Ladyhawk
Wed Oct 08, 2008 7:16 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Buy Stuff through our Amazon link - please!
Replies: 16
Views: 23660

Re: Buy Your Books and CDs at Poets' Graves.

I wished I knew about this flippin link earlier: nevermind, I will buy my texts books in future from here. Cheers.
by Ladyhawk
Wed Oct 08, 2008 7:11 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: For I play
Replies: 13
Views: 532

Re: For I play

I must be insane saying this but here it goes anyway. Isn't the purpose of an excellent poem allows readers to interpret it more than one way? I mean does it matter if one saw musical notes another saw sex etc etc. If poetry was written directly (spoon fed)it takes away the multi possible layers. I...
by Ladyhawk
Tue Oct 07, 2008 8:56 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Deserted Shore(revised)
Replies: 7
Views: 302

Re: Deserted Shore(revised)

Of course it is the latest version I knew that , doh! :? Well I feel a right old sissy now. Well I am please to hear that anyway because they are a beautiful bunch of lines (DON'T CHANGE IT PLEASE !) IF you do I will nick it off you and stick to reading that one instead of the new one (if it become...
by Ladyhawk
Tue Oct 07, 2008 8:49 pm
Forum: Poetry Discussion
Topic: Why do you write?
Replies: 11
Views: 1927

Re: Why do you write?

I write cos I am a pented up emotional roller coaster who needs a flaming good ride on paper. I love the sounds poetry create and the fact a little poem can create a big impact whether a story, imagery, emotions you name it, poetry stocks and caters for all. To reflect and theorise a picture. Writin...