Search found 14 matches

by exysbloodhound
Fri Aug 15, 2008 3:34 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Murder Goose
Replies: 11
Views: 646

Re: Murder Goose

I thought this was amazing though towards the end i feel it did slip off poetry and land somewhere else completely. I got arrested, fingerprints, DNA, and now face thirty years in dank Victorian British jails; my mother cries and my father fails to understand this land he lives in, honesty, he think...
by exysbloodhound
Fri Aug 15, 2008 3:22 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: whale into rabbit
Replies: 1
Views: 166

whale into rabbit

You will never catch me Keeping hold of time There inside of yourself I was so young I pissed my pants. You will never catch time Taking care of me It must be better Surely, so much better than being I picture you, In a yellow room Where nothing fits until, It holds you steady like a blood bank Than...
by exysbloodhound
Fri Aug 15, 2008 3:19 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: passing through the crowds
Replies: 2
Views: 209

Re: passing through the crowds

I think the first verse, with some tweaks, could be quite set and enjoyable. After that verse its like you change completely. Sits nicer than what i've been reading.
by exysbloodhound
Thu Aug 14, 2008 8:31 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Dougie.
Replies: 5
Views: 296

Re: Dougie.

thanks very much for great reviews and all positivity/criticism within. Hope to read more of both your works.
by exysbloodhound
Thu Aug 14, 2008 8:28 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Ideas
Replies: 5
Views: 279

Re: Ideas

Reminds me of the song Flim by aphex twin.
by exysbloodhound
Thu Aug 14, 2008 8:15 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Coming Home
Replies: 4
Views: 275

Re: Coming Home

It sits easy, think its the perfect length. Comfortably reflective. I need fight and thirst. I need to feel undermined, i need to smile.
by exysbloodhound
Thu Aug 14, 2008 12:00 pm
Forum: Post Visual Art
Topic: Odds and Ends
Replies: 6
Views: 1049

Re: Odds and Ends

The last two are really blowing my mind.
by exysbloodhound
Thu Aug 14, 2008 11:39 am
Forum: Any Other Business
Topic: Daddy
Replies: 10
Views: 1055

Re: Daddy

congrats.
by exysbloodhound
Thu Aug 14, 2008 11:31 am
Forum: Prose/Fiction Discussion
Topic: John Steinbeck
Replies: 7
Views: 4106

Re: John Steinbeck

The passages you posted from The Grapes Of Wrath and East of Eden blew me away. I have only ever saw the film of East of Eden, definitely read said Steinbeck.

Great
by exysbloodhound
Thu Aug 14, 2008 11:20 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Slowly Disappearing (now with sound)
Replies: 20
Views: 2452

Re: Slowly Disappearing (now with sound)

Going through something similar every morning. Becoming concious that you might have lost your soul to something that is now just a part of your life is bloodcurdling. It becomes bigger than the words, the sound, everything. If you aint off it remember to put on Sgt Pepper before you jag, makes for ...
by exysbloodhound
Thu Aug 14, 2008 12:02 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: My Soul in Orange
Replies: 6
Views: 321

Re: My Soul in Orange

The second verse has something great inside of it but its stretched. I look too far Further than horizons I remember your smile Your eyes like diamonds Over the grey towers of smog Light up a silver future Waiting for us To get along This verse ryhmes almost too much towards the end but it stands ou...
by exysbloodhound
Wed Aug 13, 2008 11:56 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Black and White
Replies: 11
Views: 554

Re: Black and White

Reading Black&White left me feeling empty. I can't see anything in it except your own confusion and inability to express loss (& remembrance :roll: ). Seems like this forum could only do us good, so I look forward to reading your next work.
by exysbloodhound
Wed Aug 13, 2008 11:41 pm
Forum: Post Some Prose
Topic: Novel Writing Train - help tell Harry's story!
Replies: 52
Views: 37860

Re: Novel Writing Train - help tell Harry's story!

Cold January swept the sleep from Harry's face, he grimaced in remembrance of the warmth that would have been holding him, shying from the love to let him be the protector. It was Harry, more than anyone else in the world, who's mind gnawed for the warmth of her comfort. Anywhere but here.
by exysbloodhound
Wed Aug 13, 2008 11:31 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Dougie.
Replies: 5
Views: 296

Dougie.

every party. every window, a whisper to help me break every truth. ever now, a hurricane to help me sleep its been four years little rest, let the bone stretch edge its way into your heart little finger, nailed to the wall often see the sky a morning green doesn't help me wake to plain white order h...