Search found 5717 matches

by ray miller
Thu Jul 18, 2019 1:05 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Gannet
Replies: 4
Views: 79

Re: Gannet

It's very nice, Luke. For me, what's below would suffice. Soon, soon now, you’ll carve towards the waning sun flashing mustard mirroring the lighthouse that turns, unmanned. I’ll reach you in the caesura between apex and dive seeking a share in the cool rush for which you emerged headlong from the e...
by ray miller
Thu Jul 18, 2019 10:58 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Flevoland - revised
Replies: 6
Views: 92

Re: Flevoland - revised

Thanks for the comments. I feel like I'm getting worser and worser at this writing lark and should stop while I'm slightly ahead but what else has a man got to do. I've written a revision, though I don't feel it's much better. JJ - Revolving doors are meant to be wind turbines. David - I suppose Fle...
by ray miller
Tue Jul 16, 2019 11:17 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Pub's Boot Room (revised)
Replies: 19
Views: 192

Re: The Pub's Boot Room (revised)

Perry wrote:
Tue Jul 16, 2019 10:40 am
JJ, you haven't critiqued the last 14 poems that I have posted. I'm not going to mention that, however, because I don't want to seem petty or give the impression that I am keeping score.


And here was me thinking you had no sense of humour, Perry. Pure Comedy Gold.
by ray miller
Tue Jul 16, 2019 9:54 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: (SHA 6) Move Along Now
Replies: 14
Views: 102

Re: (SHA 6) Victory Parade

I wonder how much this was influenced by Trump's latest advice to congresswomen of colour?
by ray miller
Tue Jul 16, 2019 9:49 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Epistle to Ms Austen
Replies: 14
Views: 150

Re: Epistle to Ms Austen

Enjoyed. The lengthy convoluted sentence is Austen-like enough. Do muddles marinate in solicitude? I wonder if you're just being ironic or if there's something specific you're referencing.
by ray miller
Tue Jul 16, 2019 9:40 am
Forum: Music and Song Lyric Discussion
Topic: Roy's greatest song ...
Replies: 8
Views: 83

Re: Roy's greatest song ...

Alternatively highlight and right click David's link to get open link option.Tried that, mac. Don't work. Tells me there's no results. Used to be able to just click on the link and voila. What's happened?

The song David posted is the Cricketer song then, is it?
by ray miller
Mon Jul 15, 2019 2:06 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: A log for Bea
Replies: 13
Views: 93

Re: A log for Bea

Enjoyed the rhythm and rhyme. The 4th verse looks very contrived, rhyme-led, especially the Gordon's gin line.
by ray miller
Mon Jul 15, 2019 2:03 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Community Gardening At St Peter's (revision)
Replies: 23
Views: 236

Re: Community Gardening At St Peter's (revision)

Interesting, though like Perry I've difficulty tracking who's who. I wonder if the 3rd stanza shouldn't be the first stanza. I may be misunderstanding the poem, but for an antidote to fecklessness Lancelot has an unfortunate name.
by ray miller
Mon Jul 15, 2019 11:14 am
Forum: Music and Song Lyric Discussion
Topic: Roy's greatest song ...
Replies: 8
Views: 83

Re: Roy's greatest song ...

I can't get this link to work, neither could I post a workable link in the Publications section. Has technology advanced beyond my grasp yet again or is this a common problem? So, I don't know what Roy Harper song you've posted, David, but my favourite is When An Old Cricketer Leaves The Crease. Bac...
by ray miller
Mon Jul 15, 2019 10:08 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Gay Pride
Replies: 11
Views: 168

Re: Gay Pride

Is what I am some kind of performance art? - Good line.
of what
makes me unique in an over-crowded world.


I wonder if "over-crowded" is the best term to employ here, maybe something like conformist, orthodox etc.
by ray miller
Mon Jul 15, 2019 9:58 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: First Language V2
Replies: 28
Views: 364

Re: First Language V2

I think "moga-stare" is great. Also prefer the original "hope of safety in the trees", it's plainer, clearer than false refuge. I think the ending is slightly letting the poem down, though I prefer the 2nd one.
by ray miller
Mon Jul 15, 2019 9:48 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Pub's Boot Room (revised)
Replies: 19
Views: 192

Re: The Pub's Boot Room (revised)

Some lovely lines, the 3rd one is my favourite. The only suggestion I'd make is that "boot and country lane" make for an odd combination and maybe "boot in country lanes" would be better.
by ray miller
Mon Jul 15, 2019 9:44 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Flevoland - revised
Replies: 6
Views: 92

Flevoland - revised

Revision Winds caught between revolving doors still strive to stir the flags that warned of danger from our monsters there buried beneath a bed laid bare. Blank page on which our pens descend the boundaries that so offend an old transgressor seeks revenge. Original Wind captured in revolving doors; ...
by ray miller
Sun Jul 14, 2019 1:20 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Serendipity-doodah
Replies: 15
Views: 140

Re: Serendipity-doodah

Very nice, David.
this unlooked-for epaulette,
hardly daring to draw breath,


that would give you an extra rhyme. If you want one. Likewise thief/feet.

reversing from a foxglove's flower?
by ray miller
Thu Jun 20, 2019 2:52 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Old Hippy V7
Replies: 24
Views: 757

Re: I was turning 13 (V4) Portobello Road

I've read all 4 versions and the comments. What strikes me most is that you'd be better concentrating on the tensions between Hippies/Rock Music and Disco, rather than trying to rope in a connection to Rachman and profiteering landlords. I used to read Private Eye at around this time, I think Ted He...
by ray miller
Wed Jun 19, 2019 5:17 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Walking Football 2nd version
Replies: 10
Views: 452

Re: Walking Football 2nd version

Thanks, Geoff (great to see you back), Poet, David. Sorry not to have replied sooner, life getting in the way etc. Just like now, actually. Back tomorrow, I hope.
by ray miller
Wed Jun 19, 2019 3:54 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Strand Street
Replies: 18
Views: 426

Re: Strand Street

Lovely. I don't recognise the cash transferral system but we had a local rock shop and I think that 4th couplet is my favourite. We spoke of Strand Street in the good old days, and all its little tributary streets, - tributaries would do for me. with every shop along them owned locally, - owned by l...
by ray miller
Tue May 07, 2019 11:12 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Love's Prerogative
Replies: 2
Views: 280

Re: Love's Prerogative

Enjoyed the last 10 lines, but I struggle to understand this

The truth and its prerogative
to hear its perfect sound
may yet be stayed; and if, in this
delay, reprieve is found,

other wayward hearts await
for truth to tear asunder.
by ray miller
Tue May 07, 2019 10:10 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: In a Cemetery of Oak and Ash
Replies: 13
Views: 615

Re: In a Cemetery of Oak and Ash

I think the first stanza is very fine, except, are we meant to suppose that she was buried by something other than a man? I find it peculiar that the oak and ash line appears in between the flies, worms and beetles. I know three cubs denied the Winter, with what the vixen shared. - I don't think tho...
by ray miller
Tue May 07, 2019 9:57 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Losing People (A didactic poem)
Replies: 10
Views: 937

Re: Losing People (A didactic poem)

My initial thought was this is to do with insects, now I'm not so sure. I like the first stanza, its ending could be applicable to any persecuted minority, I suppose. I'm not so keen on the last 5 lines of the poem. I find them too glib, anodyne, "didactic".
by ray miller
Sun May 05, 2019 5:39 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Duende (oh oh)
Replies: 24
Views: 1240

Re: Duende (oh oh)

Oh no. The original football connection was wrong - I was thinking of Volare, not Vieira - so every additional one is another wrong step. Fun idea, though. Maybe that's what the poem should have been about. I was in Seville with Mrs D for her birthday, but could not persuade her that the local derb...
by ray miller
Sun May 05, 2019 11:02 am
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Ray and I appearing in Snakeskin.
Replies: 4
Views: 597

Re: Ray and I appearing in Snakeskin.

Thanks and well done Tristan.
by ray miller
Sun May 05, 2019 9:38 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: My Dream
Replies: 17
Views: 1007

Re: My Dream

The ending made me laugh. Very good, you only need introduce the first slippers line more naturally.
by ray miller
Sun May 05, 2019 9:27 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Duende (oh oh)
Replies: 24
Views: 1240

Re: Duende (oh oh)

The stamping. The clapping.
The high deep keening of love
and death. Duende.

That reminded me of a football match. And Old Egypt is Mo Salah?
by ray miller
Sun May 05, 2019 9:16 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Natural Beauty
Replies: 7
Views: 474

Re: Natural Beauty

Enjoyed. Have you an aversion to apostrophes? collector's item, old man's face, wind's slow grace.
I'd agree you could lose the "likes" and maybe the penultimate line as well.