Search found 5700 matches

by ray miller
Tue May 07, 2019 11:12 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Love's Prerogative
Replies: 2
Views: 96

Re: Love's Prerogative

Enjoyed the last 10 lines, but I struggle to understand this

The truth and its prerogative
to hear its perfect sound
may yet be stayed; and if, in this
delay, reprieve is found,

other wayward hearts await
for truth to tear asunder.
by ray miller
Tue May 07, 2019 10:10 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: In a Cemetery of Oak and Ash
Replies: 13
Views: 228

Re: In a Cemetery of Oak and Ash

I think the first stanza is very fine, except, are we meant to suppose that she was buried by something other than a man? I find it peculiar that the oak and ash line appears in between the flies, worms and beetles. I know three cubs denied the Winter, with what the vixen shared. - I don't think tho...
by ray miller
Tue May 07, 2019 9:57 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Losing People (A didactic poem)
Replies: 6
Views: 186

Re: Losing People (A didactic poem)

My initial thought was this is to do with insects, now I'm not so sure. I like the first stanza, its ending could be applicable to any persecuted minority, I suppose. I'm not so keen on the last 5 lines of the poem. I find them too glib, anodyne, "didactic".
by ray miller
Sun May 05, 2019 5:39 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Duende (oh oh)
Replies: 24
Views: 417

Re: Duende (oh oh)

Oh no. The original football connection was wrong - I was thinking of Volare, not Vieira - so every additional one is another wrong step. Fun idea, though. Maybe that's what the poem should have been about. I was in Seville with Mrs D for her birthday, but could not persuade her that the local derb...
by ray miller
Sun May 05, 2019 11:02 am
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Ray and I appearing in Snakeskin.
Replies: 4
Views: 320

Re: Ray and I appearing in Snakeskin.

Thanks and well done Tristan.
by ray miller
Sun May 05, 2019 9:38 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: My Dream
Replies: 17
Views: 226

Re: My Dream

The ending made me laugh. Very good, you only need introduce the first slippers line more naturally.
by ray miller
Sun May 05, 2019 9:27 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Duende (oh oh)
Replies: 24
Views: 417

Re: Duende (oh oh)

The stamping. The clapping.
The high deep keening of love
and death. Duende.

That reminded me of a football match. And Old Egypt is Mo Salah?
by ray miller
Sun May 05, 2019 9:16 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Natural Beauty
Replies: 7
Views: 171

Re: Natural Beauty

Enjoyed. Have you an aversion to apostrophes? collector's item, old man's face, wind's slow grace.
I'd agree you could lose the "likes" and maybe the penultimate line as well.
by ray miller
Sun May 05, 2019 9:12 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Walking Football
Replies: 4
Views: 100

Re: Walking Football

Thanks for the comments. I'm not really happy with the running order. I think I'd like the penultimate stanza to be the last. The first stanza seems the natural place to start for me, but I've had numerous formulations of line 6 and I still don't like it. Bits of stanza 2 and 3 are poor as well. I'm...
by ray miller
Fri May 03, 2019 8:34 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: In a Nutshell
Replies: 4
Views: 131

Re: In a Nutshell

As I remember Blair found plenty of reasons or pretexts to go to war, many of them knowingly false. It was only "harder" for him to espouse the real reasons, I suppose.
by ray miller
Fri May 03, 2019 7:55 am
Forum: Poetry Discussion
Topic: Bells For John Whiteside's Daughter (need help)
Replies: 6
Views: 117

Re: Bells For John Whiteside's Daughter (need help)

Only had a quick read for now, but brown study means a reverie. That makes things clearer?
by ray miller
Thu May 02, 2019 4:50 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Walking Football
Replies: 4
Views: 100

Walking Football

If the past is another country then we visit in slow motion on an artificial surface every Monday evening, where all time is extra time and those sixpences we turned on are victims of inflation, those fifty-fifty tackles are a hard, if not impossible, equation. The pitch expands or contracts by dint...
by ray miller
Thu May 02, 2019 4:08 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Atrapadita (revision)
Replies: 7
Views: 215

Re: Atrapadita

I don't think you need both stanzas 3 and 4. One or the other or a fusion. They seem to say much the same thing and by losing one you'd avoid the repetition of shift and loss. In the Tango partners embrace each other’s fervor, release transport and grace into the world, - I think I know what you mea...
by ray miller
Thu May 02, 2019 3:47 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Death in the Time of Brexit - renegotiated
Replies: 14
Views: 864

Re: Death in the Time of Brexit - renegotiated

Thanks, Tristan. Is Finishing Touch meant to conceal poems from the eyes of poetry magazine editors? If so, it's too late and anyway I don't think George Simmers is precious about that kind of thing. But thanks for asking.
by ray miller
Thu May 02, 2019 3:39 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Dancing Girl (new ending)
Replies: 13
Views: 305

Re: Dancing Girl (new ending)

I think the storyline is plausible enough. Line 4 ought to be line 2, in my opinion, its current placement sits awkwardly, looks too rhyme-led. with sexy adults standing close. - I think "older/ageing adults" would be more effective and probably truer. Patrons is better than chorus and it needs be "...
by ray miller
Thu May 02, 2019 9:32 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Death in the Time of Brexit - renegotiated
Replies: 14
Views: 864

Re: Death in the Time of Brexit - renegotiated

Thanks for all the comments. Sorry to have been away so long, I've been in Ireland visiting Jacob Rees- Mogg's money. It took longer than I first imagined.
by ray miller
Thu May 02, 2019 9:26 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Duende (oh oh)
Replies: 24
Views: 417

Re: Duende (oh oh)

Enjoyed, interesting. What the ending reminded me of was the song Volare and then Patrick Vieira, which probably says more about me than the poem. But I note that volare means to fly in both Spanish and Italian and your earlier references to nightingale, stars, poplar.
by ray miller
Fri Mar 22, 2019 11:41 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: The Hypochondriac (Revised)
Replies: 22
Views: 666

Re: The Hypochondriac

Like the opening 2 lines. Chasing seems at variance with being on watch.
a steely palm cups my heart. - cups seems very tame, something like grips or presses, unless you're making the point that N'S actual discomfort is minimal.
by ray miller
Thu Mar 21, 2019 3:19 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Grooming
Replies: 11
Views: 418

Re: Grooming

Thanks for the comments. I wrote the original for this about 5 years ago and I've always thought it one of my best poems. I sent it off to a magazine a few weeks back and it was rejected. I was surprised, so I've tried improvements here and there. Not - there have been several endings. Believe me, t...
by ray miller
Thu Mar 21, 2019 2:50 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Milia (revision)
Replies: 11
Views: 373

Re: Milia (revision)

So Lankester is your family name? I miss the archipelagos of ancestry. It should be the name of a prog-rock band.
by ray miller
Thu Mar 21, 2019 2:43 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: On Gleneedle Road
Replies: 16
Views: 497

Re: On Gleneedle Road

I read it as a snapshot of how the rich will retreat into gated communities to protect themselves from the ravages of climate change. I always will.
by ray miller
Thu Mar 21, 2019 2:37 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: RIFF ME A ROSE (V11)
Replies: 29
Views: 1004

Re: For a Rose (V6)

Well, I've followed this thread. At times I thought you were addressing female genitalia, other times the subject seemed to be England. Maybe it's all just about roses, after all. So the problem I have with this is that there is no common theme discernible to me and the more it expands the worse tha...
by ray miller
Mon Mar 18, 2019 5:37 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Sensible Selfishness
Replies: 11
Views: 399

Re: Sensible Selfishness

Taking up your friend's suggestion, something like this That there is suffering in the world must mean that I shall suffer too. Does that mean I should spend my life in spasms of despair? Does that mean I shouldn’t care, or that I shouldn’t take the time to state my views, dispatch a note, or stand ...
by ray miller
Mon Mar 18, 2019 5:00 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Sensible Selfishness
Replies: 11
Views: 399

Re: Sensible Selfishness

I like the 2nd verse, the last couple of lines are very fine, I think. But I can't agree with the opening lines of the poem. That there is suffering in the world must mean that I shall suffer too, Perhaps if you start with that premise, then begin the qualifications. It behooves me to remember too: ...
by ray miller
Mon Mar 18, 2019 4:39 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Milia (revision)
Replies: 11
Views: 373

Re: Milia

Are they hereditary? I had a quick google and didn't find that. I did note some advice about not squeezing them. Mother, be warned. I like the penultimate line and thought you could have ended there. The final line seems to be shouting from the rooftops. I've not come across Pure Francis before. Is ...