Search found 851 matches

by stuartryder
Tue Feb 25, 2020 1:57 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Crane Dancing
Replies: 9
Views: 796

Re - Crane Dancing

Thank you Eira - it is valuable to get thoughts from other writers as I try to bring this and other poems to their final state! I put some sort of rationale for the capitals in my reply to Jules but essentially it comes down to, on a poem for poem basis I see what feels and looks right for the conce...
by stuartryder
Tue Feb 25, 2020 1:53 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Crane Dancing
Replies: 9
Views: 796

Re: Crane Dancing

Thank you Jules. It has been a while since I properly frequented this workshop and already I see the value of doing so again - one gets such different perspectives, it's not just about approval or criticism, though those are both so valuable in their own right. I agree that punctuation is very impor...
by stuartryder
Sat Feb 22, 2020 9:43 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Stories from the Book of Sunset
Replies: 1
Views: 350

Stories from the Book of Sunset

Stories from the Book of Sunset - a Qi Gong reflection Qi – life-force, breath, energy Gong – work, effort, exercise * Opening Stance Drawing The Bow Stretching The Back Wild Duck Swimming Dragon Flying Bird Spreading Its Wings Stretching The Abdomen Hawk Glaring Stretching The Waist Wild Goose Fly...
by stuartryder
Fri Feb 21, 2020 5:48 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Christmas Gifts (rev 4)
Replies: 19
Views: 1650

Re: Christmas Gifts (rev 4)

Hello capricorn, just clocking that I've enjoying reading this thread and hopefully will give some helpful notes when I'm next at a keyboard.

Cheers

Stuart
by stuartryder
Fri Feb 21, 2020 5:34 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Crane Dancing
Replies: 9
Views: 796

Re: Crane Dancing

Thank you, Not. Yes could take some refinement. I see where you're going with some of the phrasing, I thought it was clever but actually it could be confusing. I worry about adding more imagery in though, as part of my brief was to make the poems accessible and more direct rather than impressionisti...
by stuartryder
Tue Feb 11, 2020 12:05 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Crane Dancing
Replies: 9
Views: 796

Crane Dancing

Hi I'm working on some poems informed by a Qi Gong form. So this is one of them, very much a first draft and recent, but I think it's okay so far, but could use some refinement. (Eventually it ought to be really refined and smooth while still having its intent... thanks. Stuart. Crane Dancing We tur...
by stuartryder
Sun Dec 08, 2019 12:45 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Cried into my curry
Replies: 1
Views: 303

Cried into my curry

Left in such a hurry Cried into my curry No time left to worry Went into the zoo Looking just for you Failed because you Were in a different cage With your different rage Distant by an age Of human science Teaching self reliance Refusing my compliance. No time left to worry Leaving in a hurry Crying...
by stuartryder
Wed Oct 23, 2019 7:21 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Ghosts at Herculaneum
Replies: 5
Views: 758

Ghosts at Herculaneum

These ghosts were in a
Group of a few
Hundred who were stranded

In the town, took shelter
In stone beach huts
But,

Ultimately,
Were buried along with
Their names.
by stuartryder
Wed Aug 21, 2019 5:23 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Different Stations
Replies: 14
Views: 1300

Re: Different Stations

Nice; brevity is achieved. I did wonder if bringing it all into the present tense might lend it extra intensity and relateable and challenges the reader finding themselves in a similar predicament..? Just my thoughts.

Thanks - nice work.

Stuart
by stuartryder
Tue Aug 20, 2019 7:39 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Nonsense limericks
Replies: 4
Views: 608

Nonsense limericks

Once, I wrote a bunch of some, which have not survived, but I remember four of them, so here they be, if anyone has any suggestions as to form and content... If chertibils grint at the skite When you swash at their 'bubs with a gyte, Then who cleans the libbins Attanched to their dibbins? And hown c...
by stuartryder
Mon Aug 19, 2019 1:11 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Theseus in Old Age
Replies: 11
Views: 1423

Re: Theseus in Old Age

Yeah I like this one a lot, would only ask if the commas can be presented in the "normal" way with a space after them - it makes for easier reading.

It sounds like a monologue by a priestess in a movie about Theseus, or something of that cinematic feel.

Cheers

Stuart
by stuartryder
Mon Aug 19, 2019 12:43 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Dreams
Replies: 7
Views: 822

Re: Dreams

All in all I enjoyed the inversion. A couple of observations: - Although each verse (I find the word strophe pretentious!) ends with a long ee sound, the stress on those final words is different, eg the SEA; SHOULD be; WITH me; like to BE; PERfectly... I don't know if that matters to you or not but ...
by stuartryder
Thu May 18, 2017 7:38 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The softness in the light
Replies: 1
Views: 627

The softness in the light

Promise to pay some contributions back!! This is kind of a second first-draft... any views? Thanks Stuart The softness in the light * Brodie, she called herself, and there was this softness in her, a soft light - even though her hat was cruelly curved, her cheekbones cut right through me, and when I...
by stuartryder
Thu Sep 15, 2016 8:15 pm
Forum: Any Other Business
Topic: Poets' Graves meet-up 2016
Replies: 110
Views: 50077

Re: Poets' Graves meet-up 2016

So, um, what date are we looking at again?

I'm asking because I've got job stuff to consider (promotion!) and my payday is weird so I will need to work out whether I've got the wherewithal (as a stereotypical skint poet) to attend...

Stuart
by stuartryder
Thu Sep 15, 2016 8:11 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: A found poem from one of my primary schoolbooks...
Replies: 5
Views: 958

A found poem from one of my primary schoolbooks...

Eyes

Eyes are different
colours my eyes are
blue the middle part is
called the pupil it is like a
window and it lets in
light the coloured part
is called their is the
eye lashes stop dirt
coming
by stuartryder
Thu May 19, 2016 7:40 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Not sure what to call this ... any ideas?
Replies: 13
Views: 1467

Re: Not sure what to call this ... any ideas?

"Oh Mr Callin, it's awful"?

Stuart
by stuartryder
Wed May 11, 2016 9:26 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: What smooth beast?
Replies: 11
Views: 1554

Re: What smooth beast?

Hi Bod Enjoyed the read. I hate the term " it flowed" but, um, it did. The rhythm of the lines and the diction made it work, for me. One or two typos. Your next edit will address that I'm sure, for the sake of precision. I didn't like the "name redacted" really - until the end, when it kinda made se...
by stuartryder
Wed May 11, 2016 9:09 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Eloping
Replies: 4
Views: 896

Eloping

Hi crew - rip it to pieces cheers so I can get it just right :) Cheers Stuart * Eloping I guess, your parents aren't best pleased. Well... Send them pictures; that crème fraiche dress in a swirl around the lariccio pine, us against the Corsican rock. “Wish you were here, but hey we saved you a packe...
by stuartryder
Wed May 11, 2016 9:06 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Vestiges (ballade) Revision 2
Replies: 5
Views: 869

Re: Vestiges (ballade) Revision

Hi RC

Had a quick read - can't focus on a full response yet - enjoyed the energy though. Will delve deeper, for sure.

Cheers

Stuart
by stuartryder
Wed May 11, 2016 8:40 pm
Forum: Post Visual Art
Topic: A heron in the tree
Replies: 8
Views: 3223

Re: A heron in the tree

Hey, thanks viewers... not even sure if I've got the original any more - this was one of the herons last season that (all things taken relatively) didn't mind me getting a wee bit closer than expected. Still very nervy though. It flew up into that tree and I was shooting at about 135mm on an APS-C (...
by stuartryder
Mon May 09, 2016 10:54 pm
Forum: Any Other Business
Topic: Poets' Graves meet-up 2016
Replies: 110
Views: 50077

Re: Poets' Graves meet-up 2016

http://www.manchesterliteraturefestival.co.uk/

Just a possible activities for some visiting peeps...

Stuart
by stuartryder
Mon May 09, 2016 10:49 pm
Forum: Any Other Business
Topic: Windows 10
Replies: 8
Views: 2298

Re: Windows 10

I use 7 on my desktop and 10 on my laptop. After a couple of months getting used to it, I quite like 10. But I prefer 7.

Stuart
by stuartryder
Wed Apr 20, 2016 6:32 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Flash and The Sacrificial Fire
Replies: 3
Views: 935

Re: The Flash and The Sacrificial Fire

You lost me at dolphins have hayfever Sorry, this is making no sense at all. It seems to be a random collection of pseudo-profound phrasings. Ros So, poetry, then?! I took it at face value and as you say, a collection of images some of which were strong, and I quite liked some of the inverted langu...
by stuartryder
Wed Apr 20, 2016 6:18 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Regression
Replies: 7
Views: 1133

Re: Regression

Nice work ray, I consider you a benchmark In half-rhymes, And your witty treatments are pin-sharp Almost every time. Cheers from a grateful reader, Stuart Ryder She was regarded as the finest Regression Therapist in our district, claimed the roots of my midlife crisis could be unearthed in ancient h...
by stuartryder
Wed Apr 20, 2016 5:55 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Fitting In
Replies: 10
Views: 1205

Re: Fitting In

Great stuff! I love swans. Cheers for the read. Stuart Follow the swans to Iceland. Join the skein as it passes. The art is to wear black socks, stretch, flap in your carefully re-designed white quilt, snug-fit, neatly hiding your secret mode of flight. If one stares, stare back. Though there may be...