SCRIPT EXTRACT

From This Little Piggy by Harry Hack (City and Guilds French Polishing)

Boozer introduces himself to the maniacal Ms. Free-Range outside 'Liberty Cottage'.

    BOOZER

    Boozer.

    FREE-RANGE

    Boozer?

    BOOZER

    From BURP.

    FREE-RANGE

    From BURP?

    BOOZER

    Boozer from BURP.

    FREE-RANGE

    Boozer from BURP?

    BOOZER

    Inspector Boozer from BURP.

    FREE-RANGE

    Inspector Boozer from BURP?

    BOOZER

    Yes.

    FREE-RANGE

    You better come in then.

Once inside, Boozer probes his suspect:

    BOOZER

    I need to ask you some questions in connection with the murder of Mr Pig the bacon

    farmer.

    FREE-RANGE

    Mr Pig the bacon farmer?

    BOOZER

    Yes, Mr Pig the bacon farmer.

    FREE-RANGE

    Do you mean Mr Bacon the pig farmer?

    BOOZER

    Yes, that’s what I mean.

Boozer presses home his advantage:

    BOOZER

    Where you were on the fourth of the fifth?

    FREE-RANGE

    The fourth of the fifth?

    BOOZER

    Yes, the fourth of the fifth.

    FREE-RANGE

    Do you mean, the fifth of the fourth?

    BOOZER

    Yes, that’s what I mean.

    FREE-RANGE

    At what time on the fifth of the fourth?

    BOOZER

    At the time of the murder of course.

    FREE-RANGE

    What time was the murder?

    BOOZER

    Half past two.